I can feel your heart beatin' with mine
Underneath the stars lookin' for a sign
Glowing in the dark 'til the sun shines
•_•_•
I sleep in Peter's bed while Peter sleeps on the floor. I just know he couldn't sleep. He couldn't close his eyes. I know that every time he does, Ben's body flashes through his mind. I know it because I'm experiencing the same thing.
I quickly sit up from the bed. "Peter," I said to him, and he pretend to be asleep. "Peter, I know you can't sleep," I say to him and he opens his eyes. I quickly look to my left and gesture for Peter to go there.
We sit on the roof above the front porch as we look at the sky. "Don't let vengeance consumers you," I say to him and he looked at me confused. "I see the way you look at the wanted poster. Don't do it,"
"You're telling me he doesn't deserve it?" he asks me and I didn't say anything. "You're trying to tell me that he doesn't deserve what's coming for him? He killed Uncle Ben, Kara. He shot him," he tells me with this coming out of his eyes.
"I know. I was there with you when it happened," I say softly to him. "Then why?" he asks me and I sigh as I got closer to him. "Because vengeance will not give you the satisfaction. I know, I've tried,"
"What?" he asks. "You probably noticed I never talked about my dad ever. Well, it's because he's an asshole. One time, when my dad was still around, he likes to hit my mom. I didn't do anything. I just froze. So, one night when he hits my mom, I grab a knife and stab him. Just to make him stop,"
I take a deep breath in and out as I feel my breath getting shaky. "It didn't kill him but the damage was so bad that he has to get taken to the hospital. One night, his oxygen gas just stop working, rather than calling the nurse, I watched him struggling to fight for his life. I watch him as he exhales his last breath. I thought I feel great after that but all I felt was guilt. Maybe he would've turned things around. Maybe he decided to be a better person. I didn't give him that choice and it's been in my mind ever since,"
"I didn't know that," he tells me, and I just shrugged. "Nobody knows. I never told anyone that. Not even Gwen. I don't want her to look at me like I'm a killer," I say to him. "Then why tell me?" he asks and I looked at him. "So you don't make the same mistake I did,"
"Thank you for telling me. I really appreciate it," he said to me and I smile at him. "You're welcome Peter," I say to him. "You know, this whole night, you keep calling me Peter. Not even once did you call me Parker,"
"Do I?" I ask him and he nodded. "Yeah," he answered. I honestly don't know what to say to that. Did I call him that? I didn't even realize it. "You also called me Peter when I call you to ask about the spider bite. You called me Peter 3 times,"
"Really?" I ask him and he nodded again. "Yep," he said to me. "Maybe I'm starting to tolerate you," I replied to him. Then both of us just went silent. "You're not you know," Peter said and I furrowed my eyebrow.
"You're not a killer," he elaborates. "I'm certainly responsible for his death," I responded and he looks away. I know he also feels like he's responsible for Ben's death.
I don't know what came over me. But I put my hands on top of his instinctively and said "You're not a killer too. Ben did not die because of you. You're not the reason why Ben died. It's not your fault,"
"It kinda feels like it's my fault," he said as he squeeze my hands. It's like this is just the comfort that he needed. He doesn't need hugs. He needs someone who he can understand. Someone who he can be vulnerable with.
"It's not. Don't beat yourself up to it," I say to him. "I will if you do it too," he replied and I nodded. Then Peter put his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer. My arms just instantly wrapped around his waist as I put my head on his chest. We didn't say anything and just look at the star above us.
