Enigma (Dauntless Series #4)

Chapter 5

I focused on my studies to forget Alexei. I don't see him in the library anymore so that also helped me, but I wonder why he stopped coming all of a sudden. It wasn't easy to move forward as he was the guy I was crushing on so hard for months. In fact, I even planned my future life with him. To see how my life would turn out if I became his Mrs. Hernandez.

Unfortunately, all of that would just be one of my wildest dreams. Though it was fun. But now I have to go back to my reality.

Months have passed and I became content with what I have. My family and friends are there to make me happy so I have nothing to complain. I am now in my final year of senior high school and surprisingly, I haven't gone mad yet with the pile of activities and projects that my teachers give us every week. Minsan ay hindi ko na nagagawa pang makapasok sa trabaho ko kaya kinailangan ko munang i-let go iyon para makapagfocus sa pag-aaral. Nangako kasi ako sa mga magulang ko na imamaintain ko ang grades ko kapalit ng payagan nila akong magtrabaho. Nakakahiya naman kasing manghingi sa kanila ng pera kahit binibigyan naman nila ako ng allowance. Minsan napapalaki ang gastos ko sa mga luho ko at ilang bayarin sa school.

"Gusto mo?" alok ni Sheena ng canned beer na iniinom niya. "Kanina ka pa stressed d'yan."

"No, thanks. Baka kung ano pa ang masulat ko sa research paper ko kapag nalasing ako." sabi ko habang diretsong nakatingin sa laptop ko. Narinig ko siyang tumawa.

Our teacher in Philippine Politics and Governance has tasked us to do an individual research about different social issues that our country is facing right now. Hindi naman iyon katulad nung previous research namin dahil informal research naman ito pero nahihirapan pa rin naman ako. Pakiramdam ko nga mali-mali ang mga ginagawa ko kahit na may sinusundan naman akong guide.

"What's your topic, Gwy?" tanong ni Guia.

"Tungkol sa redtagging sa mga journalists at activists."

Napatango siya. "I like it. Very timely. Wish I have the same courage that you have when it comes to writing that."

"Syempre, future journalist natin 'yan, e!" sabi naman ni Verona.

I rolled my eyes at her jokingly. I still have a few months to decide what I would really want to pursue in college but journalism is definitely on my list. But I don't know if it's for me. What if I fail? What if I'm not good enough to become a journalist? Sabihin nating journalism ang kinuha kong course sa college, pero paano kung sa kalagitnaan ng pag-aaral ko ay marealize ko na hindi ko naman pala kaya ito? Na niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko at kinuha ko lang ang kursong ito dahil ito ang sa tingin ng mga tao na bagay sa akin. Na may kailangan akong patunayan?

Plus, the danger that this profession brings... Can my heart take it?

Pag-angat ko ng tingin mula sa aking laptop ay nagulat ako nang makita ko si Guia na nilalagok ang canned beer na binigay ni Sheena. Napataas ako ng kilay.

"May problema ka ba, Guia?"

Nataranta siyang bumaling sa akin at umiling. "Wala. Gusto ko lang tikman 'tong iniinom ni Sheena." she then laughed nervously. Nanliit ang mga mata ko.

"Don't lie to me. I can see it in your eyes."

"Fine." bumuntong hininga siya. Sinara ko ang laptop ko at kumuha ng chips sa lamesa. Kaming tatlo nila Verona at Sheena ay matiyagang naghihintay sa sasabihin niya. Mukhang problema sa love life 'to. Hindi naman kasi siya nahihirapang magshare ng mga problema niya tungkol sa trabaho at pamilya niya, pero sa relasyon nila ni Rainier? Kailangan mo pa siyang pigain para lang ilabas niya ang mga hinanakit niya. I get it, she doesn't want anyone to interfere with her love life since she's keeping it a secret but what difference does it make if she shares it to her friends? It's not like we'll expose her to her father.