Snowbound

| f i v e |

Two years ago

"Hey it's ok" Leroy said softly. He still held my hand, just like he had the entire service. I gently squeezed his hand as I stared down at the casket.

I never thought I'd see the day when my own father left me, at least not this young but I guess it's life. I will admit I'm more put together than I thought, but I guess I have Leroy to thank for that.

"I need to go to the bathroom" I mumbled turning around.

"Do you want me to come?" Leroy asked walking beside me.

I let go of his hand and shook my head. "No thanks. I've already made you go everywhere with me today"

"And I don't mind. I'm your best friend Parker, it's what we do" he said smiling softly.

"Thanks. I'll be back soon" I said leaving him and heading out of the garden, and to through the car park. Just as I got the the building where the bathrooms were I heard a voice from behind it.

My mother, so I slowly crept around the building. I thought we were in the same boat. Both of us just lost the most important man in our lives, and we were both just trying to escape all the sorry eyes and pity full remarks.

So I thought why not go sit with her? We can comfort each other without being told something about it being "God's will", or how he's in a "better place"

But I guess the mind of a thirteen year old really can't compare to that of a forty year old. Because I just simply couldn't comprehend why.

Why my mother, who'd just lost her husband, was sitting in the lap of another man. Kissing his lips and running her fingers through his hair. They both smiled and looked happy, like they were on top of the world and not at a funeral. Her husband funeral.

My relationship with my mother has never been the same from that point on. Because when she turned to look at me there wasn't even a hint of guilt in her eyes. Only regret that she was caught.

She tried to explain that she only stayed with dad because he was dying, that she did it for me, I don't know how I played into it all but I couldn't even look at her the same.

I couldn't see her as my mother anymore, because she had betrayed my father. Nor would I see that man she was with as my father. Even a week later when we moved into his house.

I was forced to call his kids my siblings. His daughter, the same age as me, had bullied me in primary now she acted like we were best friends. His son, two years older hated our parents relationship as much as I hated it and that's why we got along better than anyone else in the family.

He and mom bought me all the latest phones, computers, playstations, everything I would have dreamed of.  But it wouldn't make up for what they did. Turns out that was all a preparation for their wedding.

To me there was nothing worse than watching my mother get re-married two weeks after I buried my father. But this time was different from my father's funeral because Leroy wasn't there. And I was barely keeping it together.

I texted and called and left voicemails but I didn't get an answer. Over the last two weeks so much had happened, but he was there. I'd gone over to his house every day, and we'd spent hours on the phone when I couldn't. But now, when I was on the verge of breaking down. He declined my call.

"What's wrong Cole?"

I looked up at Laila. She was already dressed for the wedding and was clearly taking our parents marriage better than me.

"None of your business" I said glaring at her, but she still let herself into my room and sat on the bed beside me. "Leroy won't pick up" I finally admitted, cracking under the silence.

"Well if you ask me...Your little boyfriend wasn't worth it anyway" she said straightening out her dress. "Come on get dressed. Dad's expecting us down soon."

So I got dressed, but instead of heading for the wedding I found myself In front of Adams room. I knocked then stepped back, waiting for him to answer.

"What do you want?" He asked opening the door. He wore the exact same suit as me and all the other best men.

"I need you to drive me to Leroy's house. Please Adam,"

He didn't agree but after a little more begging and a promise that I would owe him one, he said he'd drive me there but only after the wedding.

Despite Leroy not even showing up for the wedding either. I think the worst part of the whole thing was that everyone mistook my tears for happy tears. I wasn't happy for them and I didn't want to be because I was still holding on to my dad, and to me that meant not letting go of the grudge.

"Sorry sweetheart, Leroy isn't home. He went out with friends" Mrs. Katz said leaning on the doorframe. "I'm sorry we couldn't make it for the wedding today"

"It's alright" I mumbled trying not to cry. "Do you know where he went?"

"Umm he went over to Mike's with a few others for a sleepover. I think it's something to do with team building for the soccer team."

"Oh ok. Bye have a good evening" I said quickly rushing back to the car with both Adam and Laila behind me. "Don't say a word" I whispered as I slid into the back seat. I saw them share a look before Adam started driving again.

"This is why you should stick with your people" Laila said turning to me. "We'll always have your back. Like true friends"

"Leroy is a true friend" it was obvious I was just trying to convince myself.

"Don't you see? Now that you're one of us" Adam said looking at me through the rear view mirror. "We're your family now, and your old friends won't see you for who you are. But we will"

"Come on lil bro. You're one of us now. You deserve friends who'll always be there for you. We would never go hang out with other friends while we know you're suffering. Leroy was only using you and now he's moved on, sticking with people of his class"

"And so should you"

I was a vulnerable thirteen-year-old boy going through puberty, my dad's death, and my mom's new husband. My hormones and emotions were all over the place. So clearly my frame of mind wasn't in the right place and was very easy to manipulate.

I just craved some stability in my life, anything I could get. When that one stable person abandoned me, I was grasping for anything or anyone. And that night Adam and Laila were the only ones there. They were the only people who cared for me because that's what true friends do right?

I didn't think twice of any ill intentions when they managed to make me smile and laugh. When they took me to that party and let me dance and drink away all my problems. When they showed me that this was my life now.

I just had to accept it because I belonged.