The Universe

Yes I'm not Perfect, But at least I'm real.

I'm not. I am far from the worlds perception of "Perfect". But at least I'm not some Barbie Doll; Tall, Skinny, Blonde, Great Make-Up. No. That has never been me, and I hope I will never be me. Y'know I'm sick of stereotypes that we're all just, supposed to follow? Hell No!. Why should I, Owami M. follow the "RULE BOOK" the rest of the world has set for, not me specifically, But the whole world. As in you, you and even you! Yes you reading this! The world has standards that we're all just supposed to meet. Why? Why do I have to be skinny to be pretty? Why do I have to be tall to be "good for something". As a young African women (14yo) already I don't fit a lot of these standards. I do? Ha, well then. When I said I'm African what came to mind. A short, really dark, messy haired, unhygeneic, uneducated, girl in a village. No? Really? Because that's exactly what everyone else thinks.

No, I don't fit the standards of the world. I'm not skinny or curvy. My hair is not in some big Afro. I'm not "All It". All my life I was the "ugly friend" always in Tasha's shadow. Do youknow what it's like having your crush come up to you, only to ask for your "pretty friends" tens. Do you know haw much it takes not to just breakdown once you've hidden from everyone else. How painful you feel. You feel like...like...like nothing, worthless.

But. Then you realise that your self worth isn't measured by how many friends you have, how many people follow you on social media. Your weight, skin colour and looks are all useless when comes down to your personality. You could be looking like Angelina Joelie or Jung Hoseok but have a the tolerance of(person with the world lowest tolerance). Well sorry mister/miss. Then you don't mean anything.

I'm not perfect. Far from it. Even in my own eyes. But I have enough self-esteem not to make shallow comments on people's apperance, based of my own insecurity. No. I'm not like that. Yes, My life is sad, I spend all my time at home, only one friendship witch is hanging by a thread, hustling to find a school, my only other friend are online on the other side of the world . Yes, my life is sad, depressing even. But I'm not about to bully and bring down others, who I don't think deserve it. Because at the end of the day who am I to judge you? Exactly no-one. To you I'm just a stranger who writes (to fend off depression) a book you're reading for God knows how long.

Sure I was never the "pretty one". People said it to make me better but I was the wall's ears. I heard everything, they said. Do I resent them? No. I don't. Do you wanna know why? 'Cause it's not gonna change anything. Whether they like me or hate me resenting them won't do anything at all. I try to live with a smile on my face, but I want you to know something they don't. It's completly fake all of it. I lost my will to live two years ago, and am trying to get back but if you ever see me with a smile, look me in the eye. There is no light in them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smile because it confuses people.

Because it's easier to explain than what's killing you inside

~The Joker