lost cause || B.E

mom

⚠️trigger warning: this chapter contains sensitive topics, such as death of a loved one, suicide, and graphic descriptions of self harm. reader discretion is advised⚠️

billie's POV:

"i wanna find my mom." i hear sav say from the other end of the couch. i looked up at her with a blank stare, i didn't really know what to say.

"okay." i said, "let's go find her." sav blinked her eyes a few times looking around the room. "i don't know where she is billie." she said.

"you act like the internet doesn't exist." i scoffed, while getting up from the couch to go get my laptop. "what's her full name?" i asked as i opened google chrome.

"her maiden name is holly angelica braddish, her last name was williams when she was with my dad though. i don't know if she changed her name back after the divorce." she explained.

i typed in her married name and all i got was her and sav's fathers marriage and divorce certificates. then i typed in her maiden name. and let's just say i found out a lot.

i found a death certificate.

born may 27th 1972, died june 4th 2018.

"hey sav." i said, "when's her birthday?" "sometime in may i think." she replied. "27th?" i asked. she nodded, "that sounds right."

shit.

"i found something." i said. her eyebrows furrows out of curiosity, "what is it?" i looked up at her, my eyes filled with empathy for what i'm about to show her. i turned around my laptop to show her what i had found.

she read it quickly and afterwards just stared in disbelief.

"she killed herself.. four years ago?" she whispered.

i nodded slowly, "i guess so."

she dropped her head forward and held her head with her hands. i draped my arm along her back and gave her some consoling back rubs. "i'm so sorry baby." i choked out.

"she doesn't just get to walk out on me and then kill herself, what the fuck?" she yelled at herself, "that doesn't make any sense."

"why didn't anyone tell me? i'm still her daughter. does dad know? why wouldn't he tell me? what the fuck is going on right now?" she rambled on.

"sav, breathe, you're gonna get the answers and closure you need, okay?" i promised. i wiped a tear from her cheek. "do you want to go talk to your dad?"

she shook her head, "nah fuck him dude." i nodded, "okay that's fine."

"can you find out who organized her funeral?" she asked me. "yeah i'm reading her obituary right now." i replied.

"it looks like it was put together by someone named alexander braddish." i told her, "ring a bell?" "yeah, that's her brother." she said. "okay." i said, "i'll look him up on facebook and try and message him."

Billie Eilish :
hey alexander, i'm texting you on behalf of my friend savannah, your niece. i was wondering if you could try and answer some questions she has about her mom.

Alexander Braddish :
she's been dead for the past four years, i'm not sure what information i could give you.

Billie Eilish :
we're aware. are you close to LA at all?

Alexander Braddish :
i live in Santa Clarita.

Billie Eilish :
how would you feel about savannah coming to visit you? she hasn't seen her mom since she was in middle school, and to find out she's dead is a shock to her. she wants answers, closure, any type of closeness she can get. and i would really appreciate it if you could help her out.