☁️Zhongchi Oneshots☁️

Headcanons!

Not a story, but I really wanted to share some of my favorite Childe, Zhongli, and Zhongchi headcanons :) I hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer: these are just headcanons, in no way am I saying these are canon or that you have to agree with me, this is just what I think! You're entitled to your own opinion (as long as it isn't homophobic/transphobic of course) but please respect mine in return.

If you guys behave on this (no serious fighting/discourse) I'll make a light nsfw version but you didn't hear me say that.

Childe/Tartaglia/Ajax:

• I'd like to think that his entire body is coated in not only battle scars but with freckles, even along his face.
• He used to have a really thick Snezhnayan/Russian accent until he started working with the Fatui, and he had to clear it up to blend in or adapt to other places he traveled to
• I'd like to think that Childe is transmasculine! I don't really have a particular reason for this one other than he just looks that way to me, and I see his fiery spirit in a lot of my transmasc friends :) oh and he would absolutely k/ll a transphobe!
• Childe only lets you see the parts of him that he wants you to, (this is just canon) so while many people only see him as a fight-hungry, masculine, scary member of the Fatui he gets extremely shy when talking about his homeland or things about himself. It's hard for him to swallow his pride with the internalized homophobia he has going on, and feels disgusted when people call him cute, feeling like that's damaging to his reputation
• I don't care if he has his stomach out, he's extremely sensitive/ticklish (Zhongli fully exploits this weakness to win arguments)
• Let's be real. Childe's definitely the guy who took gym class way too seriously. His sense of humor consists of self-depreciating irony and "that's what she said" jokes.
• I cannot see Childe liking women/non-men. I am sorry, chilumi makes me very uncomfortable for this reason, bi Childe likers you are so valid, but I cannot see it. Gay Childe because I am gay, and I said so.
• The first time he ever came across chopsticks, he took a bite out of them and didn't realize that was his utensil and not part of the food. (The only good thing to come of that was Zhongli started crying with laughter)
• Childe sucks with a bow but is great w/every other weapon because he can't see shit get this man some glasses or contacts
• He still drinks juice boxes idk man this is a self indulgent one I just like the texture of the juice box straws is that weird do you understand what I'm saying
• He has autism because I have autism and I said so (nobody was surprised)

Zhongli/Morax:

• I feel like Zhongli would not care about how he is perceived gender-wise, and therefore would be genderfluid but mostly uses he/him pronouns. Sorry but Zhongli would look absolutely stunning in both a dress and a suit (Childe can confirm this)
• I think Zhongli would be bisexual; I don't know of any ships I like of Zhongli w/nonmen, but still think as long as he really gets to know the person he's interested in gender wouldn't matter for him.
• Zhongli acts like he doesn't care for certain people (Hu Tao) but in actuality he does. When she's out of the funeral parlor working, he finds himself missing her vibrant energy even if it is a little much.
• On that note; not to make y'all cry but Zhongli is immortal. He's lived a long life and he knows one day he will have to be the one to bury Hu Tao and Childe. Hu Tao would come with age; but no matter what the he would say her death was too soon. She naturally would've planned ahead for her funeral, so Zhongli would do it perfectly according to plan. Childe's a different and much more sad case though, because I don't think with his reckless behavior (and being a part of the Fatui) he would die of old age... :(
• I consider Xiao and Zhongli to have a father/son relationship. Xiao looks up to him, and wants to make him happy and Zhongli only wants the best for someone who's had it as difficult as him.
• His relationship with Venti is a funny and interesting one. They argue a lot but never in an angry sort of way; they just like to bicker to bicker. Zhongli always feels the need to prove himself right and Venti wrong.
• He's insanely protective of the ones he loves. Do not mess with them or you are going to be crushed, no mater the intentions, he will always take it personally.
• Him being oblivious to most things is an act to blend in more as "human", he may be a little dense but not as much as some people think
• He loves to talk (this is just canon) but Zhongli has a tendency to just go off on even the smallest of topics as long as you seem interested, and if you are he gets very excited.
• He forgets to take care of himself. He feels the need to train with Xiao/Ganyu/Hu Tao/Childe to make sure they can survive out there, but forgets to take care of his own human body.

Anddd finally my Zhongchi headcanons :)

• Most often they are early birds; they get up early to go on morning walks with one another to spend time before they have to go to work. However Childe does love to sleep in so sometimes they just cuddle
• Speaking of cuddling, Childe is normally the little spoon (since he's shorter) but either one of them is prepared to have their chests become a personal pillow for the other if they want
• Childe is very affectionate and open about being with Zhongli in public, and Zhongli isn't embarrassed to be with Childe of course, just a lot more shy when other people are around. In private however, he is a flirtatious bastard.
• Childe is NOT allowed to cook dinner. He may be the wallet of the relationship but Zhongli can't stand the food he makes, even if others find it good.
• Zhongli always reminds Childe that he's not just dating him for the money; because he feels bad about taking extra mora when the funeral parlor doesn't pay him enough for his tastes.
• Childe loves listening to Zhongli talk (totally not because he is gazing and listening to that pretty voice of his the whole time)
• Zhongli promising to kiss every freckle/scar on Childe's body AHHHH cries in single
• Hand holding. They love hand holding.
• If Childe ever has nightmares about the abyss, or just bad things happening in general, Zhongli will fingercomb his hair and tell him a story of Rex Lapis to put him to sleep
• Zhongli is the personal healer after his dumb ass ginger gets into fights
• On that note also, Childe is always trying to show off his strength to Zhongli to try to impress him (he doesn't need impressed, and 9/10 times his attempts fail and end up with Zhongli laughing at him)
• WHICH CHILDE DOES ON PURPOSE, because secretly he wants to see Zhongli laugh and smile more (even if it means he has to trip over a whopperflower)
• When their apart, they trade rings/earrings and send one another letters with small but meaningful gifts
• They're both extremely clingy. Only Childe will admit that he is though.
• Imagine them going to Snezhnaya together and sharing a coat icefishing
• Childe would ruin the sweet moment by starting a snowball fight that they overact and dramatize completely
• Childe's family absolutely loves Zhongli, espically Teucer ("why does my big brother call you baby girl?")
• Zhongli DOES fight Childe when he insists on practicing his strength, but he makes sure to be careful while giving him pointers
• Childe pretends to not know how to use chopsticks still so Zhongli will hold his hand and whisper in his ear (Zhongli definitely knows and says some sort of sexual innuendo)
• They spoil each other!! Childe is more of a gift-giver, and Zhongli does random sweet gestures like sewing his clothes back up, making him his favorite food, or picking an arrangement of flowers for him outside
• Childe loves braiding Zhongli's hair, guys he has little brothers and sisters, he knows how to braid hair I don't take criticism
• Do NOT insult Zhongli around Childe or vise versa, you will be in for a lecture or battle. Or both.

Okay that's all I got y'all. Please comment your favorite headcanons below or what you think of mine I would love love love to read them! I'm going to redoing some short drafts I published and also working on a fic for Childe's birthday so be on the lookout!