Hermitcraft Stuff I Guess

Not Worth It (oneshot)

Main Pairing: Platonic ZIT
Cw: none
Au: COLLEGE :D
Around 2050 words

If anyone were to ask Impulse what his greatest regret was, he would tell them that the pen wasn’t worth stealing. Could anyone blame him? It was supposed to be a normal day on campus with writing and studying and totally not procrastinating. The only problem with the plan was the lack of pens in Impulse’s bag. He was the kind of guy to give out writing utensils when asked, and he never ever asked for them to be returned because the Campus Common Courtesy guide says to always give pens and pencils back. All good students always returned pens and pencils. No one ever gave them back. Normally this would be fine, but Impulse was running late to calculus and had nothing to write with. As all hope was lost, a shine caught in his eye and there was a perfectly good pen sitting on Zedaph’s desk. Perfect!
   
   Poof!
   
   Not perfect! Glitter rained down and stuck to every surface in one shiny colour. Red. With the new knowledge of the colour, it is very important to recognize that red can mean a lot of things: rage, danger, wrath, and-
   
   “Tango.”

   If anyone were to ask Tango what his most terrifying experience was, he would say that he shouldn’t have pranked his roommate. Impulse’s eye twitched as he whipped around to see his other roommate wake up from his mid-morning nap. His expression shifted from confused to mortified in a matter of seconds when he saw the sparkly microplastics all over the small apartment’s bedroom. Tango shot up and rushed to their closet, grabbing a small vacuum cleaner and Zedaph’s actual pen.

    “I am so sorry. That was obviously made for Zed, not you. Go to class, I’ll clean up, and we’ll hope that he doesn’t find out.”

    “And if he does?”

    “Pray that our butts don’t get framed on the wall.”

    If anyone were to ask Zedaph what his most interesting discovery was, he would tell them that glitter is hard to get rid of. Both of his roommates were at class and he came back 15 minutes before they got home. Enough time to do his homework, or enough time to pull out his homework and stare at it without actually doing anything. He preferred that plan, so he walked over to his desk, but he caught sight of a small glare of glitter on the carpet before gathering his work. Normally, Zedaph wouldn’t bat an eye at this, but there were also sparkly specks on his desk. A tiny, circular, red flag that something had happened.

    Everyone knows that if there is an unusual occurrence, one needs to always check the scene. That is exactly what Zedaph did. With homework forgotten and fake glasses on, the investigation was on. Tweezers picked up glitter, plastic bags held suspicious looking objects, and Detective Zedaph was here to find the truth about the case of the mysterious red glitter. The number one thing to find out was what everyone goes for anyway. Whodunnit?

    “Suspect list is relatively short. So far we have Grian, Mumbo, Skizz, and myself. Beef would be on there, but he’s Canadian and all Canadians are nice people. Now we just need to- Oh hey guys! What’s up?”

    “Were you talking to yourself? Actually I don’t care. What are you doing?” Tango questioned.

    “I’m going on a super important mission.”

    “What kind of mission?”

    “A mission to find out who got this red glitter on my desk.” Impulse’s eyes widened.

    “Glitter?” He peeped.

    “Glitter. Bright red glitter,” Zedaph hummed, “Which is weird because it’s not a lot of glitter. Almost like someone tried to clean it up in a rush.” Tango cleared his throat.