Gone Girl 3

Chapter 18

Last night I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I've never felt happier. Being snuggled up to Derek like that, well, there is probably no match to that.

He apologized to not getting me a gift but he mentioned he had something in mind for later. I don't care much, I'm just glad we are on good terms again.

To my surprise, he isn't in bed with me.

I stand up dizzily—since it was late when I went to sleep and I danced most of my birthday party—which also reminds me that I have to give back the car to Shanice.

I hope it didn't annoy her too much that I kept it for the whole night, I doubt she could go anywhere considering how drunk she was, plus she was already at home.

I check my phone. It's 8 am. No calls. Only one message.

Nicole: you should have told me you were going to leave...

Fuck. I forgot. It's rude... I was at my birthday party. I was so worried about Derek that I forgot about my friends. I figured Shanice would tell everyone but still... they did it for me.

I reply.

Me: I'm so sorry, I only left because I was worried for Derek. I'm at his apartment right now. Let's meet up for cappuccino today?

She replies instantly.

Nicole: ok

I have to make it up to her, I hope Dominic isn't mad about it either. Frankly, it was a big party, so many people. I don't think they only threw it for me, especially since they invited Cyprian. I suppose they also had gifts to give me.

I stand up and I look at the closed door. Where is Derek? Why isn't he in bed with me? Goddamn I sound clingy. He always wakes up before me.

Does he regret me coming back?

Does he even remember anything?

I didn't exactly tell him that I love him but I confirmed it—and if he remembers that, it will only mean one thing for us.

We can proceed and grow together. Well, I should do the most growing.

I stand in front of the mirror and I do my usual ritual.

"I love you..." I repeat over and over to myself.

The door opens and I jump.

Derek looks at me weirdly.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you. I just came to pee," he says.

I chuckle. Yeah, kind of bad there is only one bathroom and you can only access it through the bedroom. It's awkward for guests.

"Were you talking to yourself?" he asks amused, but his eyes look exhausted. I know he remembers every single detail.

"Yes. It's part of the therapy," I admit. Of course he doesn't have to know I say I love you to myself.

"You went." He smiles.

"I did. The day after we... had that discussion."

Derek comes over to me and pulls his arms around me. I feel butterflies in my stomach.

"Proud of you."

He leaves a kiss on my cheek and walks to the bathroom, while I'm still glued to the floor, watching him leave.

Yeah, he looks good with a white tank top.

I don't have any clothes here... I have to go back to the hotel and hurriedly get my stuff before they throw them away since today is the last day I paid.