Chapter 9

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Heeseung woke up to the sound of running water in the bathroom and an empty bed. It took his brain a couple of seconds to remember everything that had happened the previous night, from his annoying cousin to what Sunghoon and him had done. He couldn’t believe that had happened. His mind in between being the happiest he had ever been and panicking. He didn’t know what would come out of it, but he knew he had to talk with Sunghoon about it.

Reluctantly, he rolled out of the bed and put on his discarded pair of underwear. He’d changed them after he showered. While he waited for Sunghoon to come out of the bathroom, and to distract himself, he started packing the little amount of clothes he had brought. He had to stop his mind several times from wandering into thought of what had happened the previous night. Thoughts of what could happen between Sunghoon and him now. It was almost impossible to stop the thoughts from popping up into his head, but he did his best to ignore them. Especially the negative ones.

It didn’t take long for Heeseung to stop hearing the shower running and he held his breath as he waited for Sunghoon to come out. He scolded himself as he was intently staring at the bathroom door, that was a little creepy. He looked up again only after he heard the door opening. Sunghoon looked at Heeseung holding some clothes to change into, and step aside to let Heeseung into the bathroom. 

Sunghoon didn’t say anything and Heeseung was a little lost in how Sunghoon looked with tiny marks scattered over his neck to react. He mutedly stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. Cursing at himself as he took the fastest shower of his life, he prepared himself mentally to talk with Sunghoon.

As soon as he walked out of the bathroom he looked over at Sunghoon. He was sitting on the bed with his bag next to him, seeming ready to leave. Heeseung steeled himself, “Sunghoon,” he called the other, Sunghoon acknowledge him with a quiet hum, but didn’t look at him. “I think… we should talk, about last night…”

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon quickly said, “we were pretty drunk.”

“Y-yeah, but that’s not-” Heeseung almost died inside, had he forced Sunghoon in any way? He didn’t quite remember it like that, but anything was possible.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t… I wasn’t against it,” Sunghoon seemed to be able to read his mind, maybe his panic showed on his face. “I just… can we not talk about it?” 

“Not talk?” Heeseung didn’t want to make Sunghoon uncomfortable, but he felt like they had to have that conversation. Make everything clear between them.

“Yes,” Sunghoon sighed, “can we forget?” 

Heeseung was silent for a second, “i-if that’s what you want…” he guessed that if Sunghoon didn’t want anything to do with him, at least that way, it was better to forget. 

He wasn’t sure he could forget, but for Sunghoon, he would try.

They had kept the conversation with Heeseung’s mother as short as possible, limited themselves to short good-byes as she dropped them off at the train station. The whole way back had been uncomfortable. They barely talked to each other and they kept fidgeting, Sunghoon had even jumped away from Heeseung the couple of times Heeseung had stepped closer to him. It hurt, Heeseung’s heart couldn’t take the unspoken rejection, and he had to hold back tears several times. 

After they were back, they parted ways at the station and each returned to their own dorm. Heeseung wanted to accompany Sunghoon to his dorm, but he knew Sunghoon probably didn’t want him to. Sunghoon probably wanted to be as far away from Heeseung as possible, at least for a while. They’d be fine, they just needed to get past this and they’d be able to return to being normal friends. Heeseung would get over his feelings, he’d do anything for Sunghoon, even stop loving him. 

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