A Brand New Day

Chapter 45

Meadows pov
"Meadow, you've been working on your lists of ten things you do and don't like, for a week, I want you to share with us what those are." Cassandra says staring at me. I glare at her, I knew this was gonna happen. "You can start with either one. I just want you to read them out and then explain why you like or don't like them." I hold my glare as she smiles.
"Do I have to?" I ask.
"Yes." She says quickly.
I glance around the room. Cassandra is sitting at the head of the table. Demi and Nick are sitting across from each other and won't even look at each other. While River's moved a chair from the table to the corner of the room agains the wall wrapped in a blanket and half asleep. Everything has been weird.
Nick and Demi don't talk anymore, they just scream at each other. The only time they even act like they can stand each other was the other day when they went to the doctors about the baby.
I sigh, "why?"
"Ugh." River sighs from the corner.
I swing my head toward her and glare, "what princess, I can't ask for a reason. Only you can?!"
"You're so fucking difficult. I already know what's on those list. I know you like the back of my hand."
"Stop!" Cassandra says loudly, "it's a valid question, River."
"Dove, come here." Demi whispers reaching her hand out to River.
"Yeah, princess go to your mommy."
"She's your mom too you fucking brat." River snaps.
"Stop!" Cassandra snaps louder this time. "I want you to read the list so everyone can get to know you. Now read the list." Cassandra says sternly. I nod. I'm nervous, I don't want them to know anything. But I sigh and take a deep breathe. Just as I open my mouth, River brings her chair over between Cassandra and Demi. She leans her head on Demi's shoulder and takes her hand. I watch them for a second as River traces Demi's tattoo with her finger and Demi kisses her forehead. I close my eyes again and take a deep breath, "so I just read my list?" I ask
"Yes." Cassandra says opening her notebook.
I nod. Then begin reading.
"Ten things I don't like:
1) Cassandra: she's annoying and bossy. She's making everything weird here. She's always telling me what to do. Then she just leaves with shit hanging in the air. I don't like her." I look up to see if she's gonna say anything but she smiles and nods, I look at Nick and Demi and they're staring at each other flabbergasted. River mumbles something under breath. I chose to ignore her and continue, "2) I hate being interrupted. Let me say what I need to say. 3)— wait the next two aren't something I hate, something I'm scared of."
"Great, go for it." Cassandra says, I can see Nick watching me.
"Okay, I mean I guess I hate them too, but snakes and goats. Scary as fuck." Everyone chuckles, which makes my face heat up and I get irritated instantly, "don't laugh at me!" I snap as tears burn my eyes.
"We're not laughing at you." Nick says with a smile, "I'm actually terrified of those too. I mean oval eyes, satanic. And snakes!" He literally shivers, "hate them."
"See, we're making connections. Okay, keep going." Cassandra says.
"5) I hate bananas. Their gross. 6) I hate when Nick—"
"Me?" He gasps.
"She hates interruptions. Ask questions after."
I look at him and talk to him directly, "I hate when you go crazy and protect River, like—" I feel a lump in my throat, "you get crazy protective. Like at the hotel. When she took off and you panicked, like she was your real."
"Woah hold on." He says quietly but Cassandra cuts Him off, "let her finish."
I close my eyes and lean back, "like she's you're real daughter. You were so made at me, but didn't even care that she was gonna punch me in the face." I finish. Then take a deep breath and open my eyes. I look at him.
"Can I say something about that day?" Dad asks.
"Sure." Cassandra says.
"That day was crazy. You said some things and river said somethings. Meadow, look at me please." I look at him as he scoots closer to me. "That day, you went for the jugular, you were out for blood. In moments of fear, you fight while River fleas. To me that means that you— River don't take this the wrong way." He says and I growl and roll my eyes, " meadow you don't of didn't need my protection. You stay and fight when your scared. But I'll work on it."
"Okay." I say as he grabs my hand. "7) let me just say I'm not picking on you. But I don't like how everything is always about River."
"What does that mean?" River whispers.
"Everyone's always worried about you. You are the center of attention at all times and you're selfish." I snap.
"No, I'm not." She says sitting up and looking at her.
"You're always falling apart About everything. It's not all about you."
"I'm falling apart because I'm fucked up."
"We all are. But no one else can fall apart because you're already having a conniption."
"So what do you want me to do?" River sighs.
"That's the problem, I know it's not your fault. There's nothing you can do, but that doesn't mean that I have go like it though. 8) I hate being jealous. 9) I hate that —"
"Wait, go back, what or who are you jealous of?" Cassandra ask.
"I knew you were gonna do that. Damn it." I say frustrated.
She chuckles, "it's my job. Explain."
"I'm jealous, that Nick and Demi love River so much. I'm jealous that River can allow them to love and help her. I'm jealous that River remembers her family and what it's like to have been loved by a real mom and dad. I'm jealous of the kids at school."
"Take a breath. Count to ten." Demi says.
Which sets me off, and I snap standing up, "9) I hate that Demi is so damn bossy!" I scream, "you're always telling me what to do, like you know everything. You don't, but you say everything with such confidence that you actually believe that you know what's going on." Demi stares at me shocked and opens her mouth, "don't you dare interrupt. You never listen! You always need to say something and when you don't know you just cry like River. It's annoying, you're a grown up! Stop bossing me around. I hate it Demi! Demi, you never answer my questions and you're always mad at me. I hate it!.
Why can't you love me like you love River. You never, ask me to come to you, or comb your fingers through my hair, or let me cuddle you, or—" I scream and stand up then spit out the next part before anyone can say anything, "number ten!" I scream, "the person I hate most of all." I pant, "I hate, Sam!"
River gasps, "what?"
"He took you away from me. Then he broke you and you'll never be the same. You'll always be fucked up and I'll never get you back. You were my sister River, then he hurt you. And you left. Then you got a mom and dad and you fucking forgot me. I miss my sister, but you don't even care, because he keeps torturing you with letters and dreams. But you were my sister and now, I don't even know you." I sob shoving the car into the table and running to my room and flinging myself onto the bed.
I cry to myself as someone comes to my bed pulling me into them. I thought it was Nick, but then they speak. "I didn't know you wanted me to do those things." Demi whispers. I don't say anything but just let her hold me. "You know Im very proud of you." She whispers. I lift my head to look at her.
"You are?"
"That had to be hard."
"Very."
"Im sorry."
"It's okay."
"No it's not, I'm gonna work on not being so bossy. I love you."
"Okay."
"Hey, Cassandra said two more minutes the. We need, no I want to hear what you like." River says peeking her head into the room.
I nod and Demi speaks, "thanks dove."
"Why don't I have a nickname?" I ask her as River walks away.
"You do, bug."
"I don't like that. I want something cool like dove."
"Okay. I'll think of something. Meadow, I'm truly sorry, I haven't been giving you enough attention."
"Okay, let's go downstairs." I say grabbing Demi's hand.
"Hold on beautiful." She said stopping me. I turn to her and look at her. She lets go off my hand and wipes the tears from my face with the pads of her thumbs. "There you go." She says before leaning down and kissing my forehead. Then she takes my hand and sits down at the table beside me.
"Okay, so that was intense but good, now what are ten things you like?" Cassandra says as we sit.
"Um, I only have 7..." I mumble.
"That good start, maybe your family can help you with three more. Tell us what you have."
"Okay, ten things I like." I say opening my notebook, "1) I like to paint, because I like to see all the things in my head in real life. 2) I like moms music because it makes me feel things. 3) I like to skateboard.—"
"You do?" River asks.
"Yeah."
"I've never seen you skateboard. I've asked you hundreds of time to board with me but you always say no."
"You ask me to longboard, I don't like to go fast, I like to do tricks and stuff."
"Oh, that makes sense."
"4) I love orange soda."
"I knew that." Mom says smiling.
"5) I like swimming. I like being in the water. 6) I like otters, they're so cute. 7) I like when dad sings to me."
"You heard that?" He asks embarrassed.
"You sang to her?" Demi asks him.
"Yeah, I've don't it a couple of times when I couldn't sleep or woke up in the middle of the night."
"Yeah, I like that song that you sing. And it's just you and me."
"What do you sing to her?" Cassandra ask.
"She will be loved by maroon 5. But I thought she was sleeping. I didn't even know she could hear me."
"I like when you sing to just me." I whisper a little desperately, "please, don't stop."
"I won't."
"Meadow, you like stories." Mom says.
I look at her confused, "I don't like to read."
"Demi, explain." Cassandra says.
"I took her to the cliff, I told you about the other day." Demi says to Cassandra, "We were talking and I told her about Nick and I's first date."
"Oh, yeah I did like that story. I guess I like stories." I say, "can I borrow your pen, please?" I ask Cassandra.
"Sure." She says as she slides it across the table.
"Thanks." I add stories to the list.
"You like to dance." River says after a few seconds.
"No, I'm just good at it." I say blankly.
"What? You love to dance. You're so happy when you do it."
"No, you like dance. I thought I liked dance because you like it and I was good at it but I don't." I say staring at her.
"Oh." She says quietly. Then she looks at me again. "You like to play games... like card games. Remember?"
"I mean I used to. I don't really know. We haven't played in a long time."
"Demi. Nick. Do you have games here?" Cassandra says.
"I mean we have uno, I think." Nick says rubbing the back of his neck.
"No We can get some though, and have a game night maybe." Demi says looking at me and grabbing my hand. "That could be fun, maybe relaxing." She says hopeful.
I shrug, "sure."
"Good idea. So we have eight maybe nine items on your things you like list. Can anybody think of one more thing." Cassandra ask.
Everyone shakes there head except River and she looks at me with a shocked look, "she likes food." She whispers.
"Riv—" Nick says quietly looking at her like she's crazy.
"No, wait." She says panicking, "I'm not talking about like ED stuff I'm saying, like she's a foodie. She likes to try new foods and cook."
"You cook?" Nick says looking at me.
My face gets hot, "I like to try. I mean... I don't know."
"She's good at it." River whispers. The she begins to cry, "I miss you too. I'm sorry."
I feel a lump rising as I look at her. She looking at me with tears run down her face. "I'm so angry." I whisper embarrassed to her. "I was never meaning to need anyone, and I needed you." I say letting the world dissolve around us and all I see is her.
"I'm always here. I've always been here."
"But you weren't. I was all alone even though you were in the house with me."
"Why didn't you just come get me?"
"I didn't think you'd want to hear what I had to say. I wanted to."
"How was I supposed to know?"
"You always know." I cry.
"But now your angry at me because I didn't. I'm not a fucking mind reader."
"Everything was perfect for you. You had friends and a boyfriend."
"I thought you had friends, I thought you were as happy as I was. You can't be mad at me for not seeing what you were hiding."
"But you always knew what was happening even if I didn't say anything."
"Prairie, I had no idea those girls were bullying you. I still don't know what happened with Meredith when I wasn't there. Because you never told me. Did I know you were sad? Yes, but I just thought you missed mom and daddy. I didn't know it was more than that because you never told me. I can't read your mind. I've I don't know, got my own life, my own problems, and I'm just trying to figure out what's going on." I sigh, "but I thought if I brought you here, with mom and daddy that you would be grateful, to have a family, but your being all our hearts. We can help you until you want it. What Meredith did to us was not right, and it doesn't define what or who are are. You can get the love you crave if you let us in. If I didn't think that Demi and Nick would love you like they love me then I would have never brought Demi to get you. I knew that night that you called me that everything could be okay. I'm begging you. Please, let them be your mom and dad. Please, let us be your family. Let us be good enough. Please, I've never asked you for anything. But please, just let us love you." She sobs looking at me.
"I'll try, creek." I say taking her hand and she flinches.
"That's all I'm asking. Even if you you don't believe it, I am your sister. They-" she says pulling Nick and Demi into reality, "they are your mom and dad. And Cassandra," she says looking at her, "even if you don't like her, she's dating my life. So, try to be nice. You have always been the brave one, you have always been a nice good whole hearted person. So, don't let that fade away because your angry." She says staring into my eyes. Then she whispers, staring into me eyes, "I love you so much."
"I love you too, creek."
"I love you too, prairie." Demi says.
"I love you too, meadow." Nick says.
"I love you all too. I'm sorry."
"We'll get through this.  It's just going to be hard." Dad says.

***—authors note—***
Wow sorry really long chapter 2710 words. I'm so excited for Demi's new album. I honestly can say that's the highlight of my timeline right now. I hope everyone is doing well and you enjoy this chapter. If you have any suggestions please comment!

Stay gold
Syd