A Brand New Day

Chapter 50

This all feels like a nightmare. I've opened a door and now I can find my way out of the labyrinth. Trey my new security guard follows behind mom and I as we make our way to the office.
"Hi, I'm Demi Lovato. I have a meeting with the principle about River Lovato- Jonas."
I feel like a cat that fell in a bathtub full of water. My backpack and clothes are too heavy and I can barely stand.
Mom told us last night Dad's taking a break for a while, but he'll be home for therapy tonight. I just don't know what to think. "Dove, come on..." mom whispers to me, holding out her hand. "Trey, you can stay out here."
"Yes ma'am" he nods as he continues to stand guard against the door.
"How are you?" Principle Jasper asks as she closes the door behind us.
Mom and I both sigh. I should be happier because I'm back at school, my birthdays tomorrow, and fall break is next week, but I can't even pretend to be happy.
"Principle Jasper, we — I think it's best for River to come back to school. However, she is under going some intense therapy due to her traumas. In light of some information we have become privy to, she is also under some threats. I have hired a guard to stand outside he classes and be near her at all times."
"Okay.." principal takes a breath, "you have to understand Mrs. Lovato that I have other students to protect." Mom nods, "I can't allow her to come here and put my other students in jeopardy."
I take a deep breathe as my heart accelerates, "but, I—"
Mom grabs mg hand, "shh... listen."
But I can't, I begin to sob, "please." I squeak.
"River, I can't have a student in the masses of others with a target on her back. I will do my best,"
"Please, I'll be good. I need to be here." I sob.
Principle jasper sighs, "I can't have you here. I'll come up with something. I'll speak —"
I begin to sob harder, "but— please"
"River, listen. I know you want to be here. You're an amazing student, but given this information..." she taps her fingers on her desk, "I can't just allow you to be here it's not safe. But, I will speak to the school board and we'll come up with something. And given your mental state you can't come back today. I will come up with a plan to get her back here. Mrs. Lovato can I speak with you... alone?"
Mom nods, "River, wait outside with Trey."
"No." I whisper.
Mom squeezes my hand, "this is not the time. Now, River." I stand shaking and exit the office.

Demi's POV
"Mrs. Lovato, I really don't think she can come back and attend here. I don't want to give you or her false hope." I sit and listen. She opens a drawer and pulls out a pamphlet, "we have an online program. She can pace herself and—"
I cut her off, "no. You don't understand. She needs to get out of the house. She needs to get out of the house. She needs this, she needs teachers, her friends, she needs structure outside of our home. So, you will go to the school board and figure something out. Please, she needs this school. She needs this."
"Ma'am, I understand it but..."
"Just... please try and figure something out. I will hire this school state of the art security. I'll do anything."
Principle Jasper sighs, "I'll try, just don't get you're hopes up."
"Thank you." I stand, "thank you." I say shaking her hand. I grab the online pamphlet and leave.
As I open the door River stands from her chair and rushes over to me, "what'd she say?"
I ignore her, "Trey, take us home."
"Mom, what did she say?"
"River, we'll talk about it at home. Im tired." I say following Trey to the car.
"Please, I want to know."
My brain is tired and I sigh and think to myself, 'I want you to shut up!' But I don't say that.
"Mom." She says over and over.
I'm losing my patience. I take a deep breath as she stares at me in the back seat, "mom, please."
Im trying not to lose my mind, "River Jordan's Mendez Jonas Lovato. Please, please, please, be quiet. Relax, I'm tired. I just want quiet. Please."
"Oh—oh—okay." She stutters. She looks like a deflated balloon. I feel the exact some. " I'm sorry." She whispers and turns to look out the window.
When we get home I quietly go up to my room and crawl into bed and cover myself. I focus on my breathing. I want Nick. I want Nick so bad. I know he will be here soon but i don't want to wait. I reach my hand out and grab my phone off my nightstand. I hesitate, but I tap his name and wait it rings twice then he picks up.
"Demi?"
"I'm sorry."
"I know... is everything okay?"
"I... yes... I mean the girls are okay. I just..."
"Just what? Demi?" He sighs.
"I miss you." I whisper. "I'm so lonely, I..."
"I miss you too..."
"Come home." I whisper tearing up.
"I..."
"Please Nick."
"I can't."
"But... I need you. I need you here. I'm so sorry. Please."
"I needed you to trust me Demi. I would have done anything for you. I loved you like I would have died if I didn't have you. I gave you all of me. You never truly trusted me. I don't know how I can trust someone who hid so much from me. I feel like I just had my rose tinted glasses shattered and I'm seeing things clearly for the first time in our marriage. You don't know how bad it hurts."
"Loved?" I feel like I've been gutted, " you don't love me anymore?"
"Demi, I love you but it's..." he stops and whimpers, "it's not the same."
"What can I do? I'm so sorry, Nick."
"I know you are. I just... I need to think."
"Okay. I'm so sorry."
"I know. I'll see you soon."
He hangs up with no, 'I love you.' This is bad. I've messed up. This is all my fault. I feel my cells in my body turning gray and slowing dying. I don't know how long I've been stuck in my bed with the covers over me but I flinch when the doorbell rings, but I don't move. I don't want to and I won't.
I listen to my door open and river comes in, "mom- mom- momma" I cringe at her stutter, "cass-Cassand- Cassandra's here."
I don't speak or move. She comes over to the bed and take the blanket of mg head. I just stare at her. "M-m-momma?" She whispers. We stare at each other for what feels like forever. Eventually, Dallas comes to the door.
"River do downstairs." River looks at me then leaves, "Demi, you need to get up." I stare at her, then turn over, "Jesus, so this is is. You're shutting down?" I reach over and grab a pillow and press it over my head. Next thing I know I'm alone, thank god.