A Brand New Day

Chapter 49

Demi's pov
Cassandra and I sit in silence until Nick shows up. He barges in the room looking exhausted, and that's my fault. At the sight of him I burst into tears. "What happened to your face?" I whisper staring at the red mark below his eye.
"River slapped the shit out of me." He sighs.
"What? Why? Is she disassociating?"
"No, Meadow told her I called you a slut. Which in River's head is why you left. So, I'm the monster."
"I'm not a slut, Nick." I whisper.
"Then why did I get pictures from that bastard telling me that you're his forever?"
I gasp and begin to bawl loudly. "Nick, you don't understand! Please, listen. I would never put our marriage on the line. I love you." He chuckles. "Please, I know what it looks like. I've kept secrets from you. I understand that you're angry and confused, but—I didn't—I'm not a slut."
"Secrets? Really?" He chuckles then whips out his phone, "Because this picture!" He screams opening his phone, and shoving it in my face, "says differently."
I sigh, "Look at my face. Do I look like I am having a good time? I'm fucking crying in that picture." I scream at him pushing it away from me.
"Then what?" He screams at me.
"Nick, sit down. You have to listen to her." Cassandra says loudly.
Nick sits down but he won't look at me. "Nick, look at me."
"I can't."
"Please." I whine as I burst into a fresh batch of tears. I sit back and take a deep breath.
"Demi tell him."
"Everything?"
"You need to be completely transparent, so yes. Everything."
So, I begin to recount everything I remember.
He sat there and listened taking deep breaths and looking at his hands. When I'm finished he sighs. We sit in silence for a while. Then he speaks, "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you I was just so confused and hurt."
"I need to know the other secrets. Now. Right now."

Rivers pov
Dallas gets here and I freak because that means that Nick's leaving. I don't know what to do. Everyone I love is leaving me. Why is this happening? I can feel my body shutting down. I'm pacing my room around everything I smashed and broke. Dallas walks in and freezes, staring at me. "River, what the fuck?" She whispers.
Turn to her and stare at her. "I don't know." I say. She sits on the bed. "I'm losing my mind."
"I know you feel that way but your opening a door that has been bolted shut for so long, that you don't know what to do with yourself, because you've never done this before."
"I wish I could just close it again."
"You're stronger than ever now that you've opened it."
"I need this all to stop."
"You have to do this. For yourself, for your family."
"That's the only reason I'm even attempting this. But I'm so tired. I don't think I've ever been this tired. I just want my mom."
"I know. Your mom and your dad have to fix themselves, too. I'm not your mom but I can hold you while you sleep. I heard you have a big day tomorrow. Come here."
I walk over to her and lay my head on her shoulder. I close my eyes for a few minutes. Then open them and look around. I sigh, "I guess... I should clean up."
"Yeah, good idea. I'll go make some food. When's the last time you ate?"
I shrug.
"Real healthy..." she says rolling her eyes.
I chuckle, "I know. I guess I'm clean up and take a shower. I don't know."
"Sounds like a plan, you want some music?"
"Please."
"I'll smuggle you my phone and a speaker just give me a second."
"Thanks, Dally."
She leaves the room and I look around it's a mess. I don't even remember smashing the frames and throwing all the blankets on the ground with all my clothes. I mean everything is everywhere. When did I do this? I'm crazy.
Dallas comes back and hands me her phone unlocked and a speaker. "It's all going to work out I promise." She whispers giving me a kiss on the forehead.
I turn on sleeping with sirens and begin picking up and putting away all of my clothes. By the time I'm done I'm exhausted. My body hurts. I need to take bath. But, I'm scared. I go down to the kitchen and grab a juice box. Dallas is cooking, "Dally?" I whisper.
"Yeah?"
"Will you—" I stop myself, this is ridiculous. But I can feel my skin buzzing. She turns to stare at me, waiting, "will you sit in my room while I take a bath?" I mumble.
She doesn't say a word. Just switches the stove off comes over and grabs my hand and leads me back to my room. I go into the bathroom and turn on the water. Then I go back out yo my room and Dallas is gone. I panic and begin to cry silently. I thought she was here for me but just one more person that's left me. I grab my clothes, juice, a big shard of glass and go back to the bathroom. I slip into the tub and let the water envelop me.
"I'm back, I just went to get a broom to sweep up the glass."
"Okay." I whisper as I hold the glass under the against my thigh and the tub.
"You good? You want me to come in there? You can close the curtain."
"I'm okay."
"Okay, I'll be right back."
'She left, do it. Straight down the thigh, deep. Let the blood turn the water pink. Just like old times,' my demons whisper to me.
"She's coming right back." I mumble to myself.
"I grabbed all the ones I could find. And I found some salts and a bath bomb and bubbles. It's all about you girl." Dallas says from my room. I have no idea what she's talking about. "Close the curtain I'm coming in."
"Okay." I whisper again.
I close the curtain I listen to her set things down on the counter and flick a lighter what sounds like a thousand times. "Let some water out, then heat it up  again." I leave forward and pulling the plug, careful not to move my thigh. Then I turn on the water. "Stick you hand out." She says. I do and she hands me a bag. "Sprinkle it in the water." I do. "Give me your hand again." I do. She gives bottle of aroma therapy bubble bath. "Squirt some in and give me your hand." I do and she hands me three bath bombs.
'Ugh, when is she going to leave so we can get this party started?' My demons scream at me.
"Wet your hair and face and let me know when the bubbles cover your body."
I wet my hair and face. Then I wait a few minutes before I turn off the water. "I'm covered."
"Okay I'm going to open the curtain." I take a deep breath. She opens the curtain then turns off the lights. The entire bathroom is lit up by candle light. Then she opens a face mask, "close your eyes and breath, relax." She places the face mask on my face and covers my eyes with cucumber slices. She walks into my room and changes the music to rain and thunderstorms sound tracks. I take another deep breath. She grabs a cup from the counter. And whispers, "I'm going to wash your hair. Relax." I just listen to the rain and let her scrub my scalp. It feels so good. Everything is washing away. I've never felt this way before. After she shampoos my hair. She runs conditioner through my hair. I listen to her in crumble a paper then grab my brush.  I take a another deep breath. I can feel myself drifting.  She begins to whisper, "You are so brave. You are beautiful, strong, and selfless. I will never leave you. You are compassionate, you are powerful. You are brilliant. You are smart. You are clean. I am proud of you. I love you so much."
I can feel my chest relaxing as tears slip out of my eye. "Again." I whisper practically begging.
She says it again without skipping a beat. I begin to weep quietly. "I need mom to say it." I whisper, "please call her. I'm almost okay. I just need her voice one time."
"Okay, I'm going to step out and give her a call." I nod.

Dallas' pov.
I haven't seen her this calm in about a week. I take a deep breath as I dial Demi's number. Lord, knows what her and Nick are going through right now. Surprisingly she answers on the first ring. She sounds exhausted, "thank you so much." She whispers out of breath and raspy like she's been crying hard.
"River needs you to tell her the things wrote down for me. She's okay, she's relaxing in the tub, but she just needs to hear your voice."
She sighs in relief, "okay, I just parked in the drive way, I'll come talk to her. But dal—" her voice cracks. "I need you— I need you to stay with me, with us. Nick—"
"Nick?"
"Nick, needs a break." She sobs quietly.
"Okay."
"I'm going to wash my face and then I'll come see her."
"Okay. Hey."
She takes a shaky breath, "I got you. And I love you."
"I love you too."
We hang up and I go back to River. She breathing slowly and calmly. "Mommy's coming in just a sec."
"Okay," she whispers half asleep.
Demi comes in, her face is all splotchy and she's breathing fast. She takes a deep breath, before entering the bathroom. "Hi dove. I'm sorry I ran off, I just had to meet with Cassandra."
"You're not a slut , momma. I hate him."
"No, you don't. There are things that you don't know, understand, nor need to worry about."
River sighs, "okay" she yawns. "Say it." She pleads.
Demi lowers her self to the floor next to the tub and picks up the cup filling it with water. She gently pours it on Rivers hair, "You are so brave. You are beautiful, strong, and selfless. I will never leave you. You are compassionate. You are powerful. You are brilliant. You are smart. You are clean. You are my daughter. I am proud of you. I love you so much. I am so lucky to have you as my daughter. I'm so proud to be your momma. I love you, dove."
"Thank you, momma."
Demi turns to me with tears in her eyes, and mouths, 'thank you.'
I nod and slip out as Demi begins to repeat it again. I check in on meadow who's drawing in her room. "Hey, you want to help me make spaghetti?"
She drops her colored pencil and shrugs, "sure."