A Brand New Day

48

**TRIGGER WARNING**
Cassandra's pov
After I hang up with Demi I race to my office to meet her. I get there first and go inside to start some coffee. Then, I hear a car squeal into the parking lot. I go to the front door and stare out at Demi sitting in her car. I open the door as she opens the car door. As she's gets closer I can see she's physically shaking. "What's going on?" I ask as she walks past me into the office. She follows me into my room and sits on the couch, silently. "Coffee?" I ask after filling my mug.
"No." She whispers "thanks"
"So, what's going on?" I ask as I sit down and set my coffee beside me. 
"He thinks I'm a slut. But, he doesn't understand it wasn't my fault."
"Okay, then explain the situation."
"Okay a week before I hit River, I was in New York. It was normal. I got off the plane, fans were everywhere. Max and I rented a car. We went to the hotel. I was checking in when I felt a hand on my ass. I turned around and it was Wilmer." She takes a breath, "I didn't want to cause a scene, so I stepped away, and just told him to leave me alone."
"Understandable." I whisper.
"So that was Sunday night. The next day. I went down to the gym and guess who was there?"
"Wilmer. Can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"Who is Wilmer to you?"
"He's my worst addiction, a drug. He's my ex boyfriend. Before Nick, I cheated on joe, nicks brother with Wilmer. I was with him and Nick for about a year, before I got sober and went to rehab."
"Okay, continue." I can tell that it's more than that, but I need to know about this week, so I'll save my other questions for later. "Sunday, he's there checking in at the same time as you. Monday, he's at the gym."
"Right, so he's at the gym and I just remember thinking to myself, 'don't engage.' So, I'm on the treadmill, and he reaches over it and turns it off and he's like, 'mi amor, can I take you out to dinner, I just want to talk.' So you know I'm like I know this man. We can hopefully have a civilized conversation, in public. Maybe he's grown up. He might be able to control himself now. Maybe he's changed. So I agree, I had an interview and then I told him I'd be free by 7."
"What was he like before?"
"He was mean. He never took no for an answer."
"Mean?"
"He would like get in my head. I would be down and he would feel like that's the perfect time to tell me how ugly, fat, and stupid I was. He would get so angry sometimes and he would throw things and just belittle me constantly. I mean, I was a kid, and I didn't know Any different. He always fed my habits and he would then hold out on me until I was so desperate that I would do anything... anything." She cries.
"So how was dinner?"
"It was fine, good even. He told me he was sorry for the abuse and manipulation. He said he was proud of me. He said he loved me and told me to leave Nick for him."
"So he told you what he knew you needed to hear from him as a form of manipulation."
"Right, and I was eating it up. But when he told me to leave Nick. I got a reality check, and I told him to fuck off. I went to the bathroom. I took a deep breath and called max to come get me. I thought I was leaving the situation. I was doing the right thing. Then I went back to the table, I explained to him, that I would always have love for him and that I accepted his apologies. But I love Nick and I would never come back to him. But as I said all this I finished my water."
"Why is finishing your water relevant?"
"Because, by the time max came and I got back to the hotel, I was fading. I knew where I was, but I could barely hold up my body. I was having a hard time breathing. So I took my medicine, and laid down in bed. I called Nick and said good night. Then the next thing I remember is waking up, naked and Wilmer next to me. I was so confused and I was trying to rack my brain for any memories and I didn't, I don't remember anything. I was so scared. That I screamed. And he woke up, he looked at me and smiled he said, 'just like old times. Like a slutty rag doll, I had you screaming my name. You have my number if you want more.' I ran to the bathroom, I threw up. I got in the shower and that's when I saw the scratches and hickeys. I was sick to my  stomach and so sore I knew what we did. But why don't I remember any of it. Not that I want to really but I think I just... I don't know."
"There was no we, it was him. He slipped you something. He took advantage of you. That's why you can't remember the specific details."
"I didn't know what to do. I scrubbed myself until I heard max bang on the door. So I got out, and got ready for my next meeting and acted like I was okay. That night, after my meeting I went to the drug store, and I bought the plan b, just to be safe. I took it when I got back to the hotel. I couldn't speak to anyone. I ordered room service and I didn't leave the room. There was a knock on the door so I got it. Wilmer barged in and I was just shocked. He closed the door and pinned me to the wall. He was kissing me. And his hands were all over me. I just froze. I couldn't do anything, and he said 'I want you to look at me, while we make love. You're mine. Forever.' And I couldn't breathe all I could do is cry. I mean I'm almost a black belt in jiu jitsu. I couldn't even do anything. But, I knew even if I tried, he would get even more aggressive. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. he kept saying, 'beg for it. You want it.' I couldn't even speak. I was paralyzed and when I closed my eyes. He just lost it, he kept grunting and growling, 'look at me, mi amor. I love you. You love me. Say it, tell me you want me." She whispers the last part.
My heart is breaking. No matter how many times I hear of things like this, it takes a toll on my mental health.
"When I wouldn't open my eyes he slapped me. So I kept them open. He —" she sobs.
"Then he took pictures of me. While I laid there frozen. 'You even think of telling. And these will be everywhere. You're mine. Forever.' Then he just left me there." So I laid there for hours until dawn. I was in so much pain. I got in the shower. By the time I got out I was furious. How could I have let this happen. I was powerless and helpless. So, I went to my next meeting. Then I got more plan b. But I had also concocted a plan, the same plan I always have in these situation. The plan that always seems so bright in the moment but always backfires. I did the same thing I always do. Which I know is stupid and I hate myself every time I do it, but for me it just makes sense in the moment."
"What'd you do?"
"I called him. He can't just fuck me like some whore. I was going to fuck him. So that's exactly what I did. I fucked him. Then I made him leave. I got wasted. I hoped and prayed that Nick would never find out."
"Why did you call him?"
"I need to be in control of the situation. I just kept thinking, I'm going to get him like he got me. But it just made it worse."
"You said you always do this? How many times has this happened?"
"With Wilmer? 5 times."
"And the other times?"
"Just one time, when I was 16."
"You know, even though you called them back to regain some control, it's still rape. He drugged you. You had no control over any of it."
"I just don't know how Nick found out. I never told anyone."
"You have to tell him."
"I can't."
"He thinks you went to New York to have an affair."
"He's still going to hate me. He's going to divorce me."
"He will be upset, but he's not going to hate you. You have to tell him. Or he will continue to assume you were unfaithful and you weren't. What do you tell River?"
"It's not her fault."
"So how could it be yours?"
"I gave him attention!"
"Im calling Nick, who can watch the girls? I want to do this here, I don't want anyone to hear any of this."
"I'll call Dallas and have her watch the girls."
"Okay. Call her. I'll call Nick."
I leave the room and go into the office and call Nick, "hello, Nick it's Cassandra."
"Hi, is Demi with you. Rivers been calling and she won't answer. Rivers having a conniption."
"Yes, Demi's at my office. You two need to have a talk. Demi's calling Dallas to watch the girls. Just come here. There are things she needs to tell you."
"Okay. What do I do about River, she's having a complete meltdown. Destroying her room. I don't know what to do."
"I'll have Demi call her. Where's meadow?"
"She's in her room crying listening to music."
"Okay. Go sit with meadow, while Demi talks to River. As soon as Dallas gets there head this way."
"Okay."
We hand up and I go into the office. Demi, is sitting there staring at a wall, "you need to FaceTime River right now."
"Why what's going on?"
"She's having a meltdown."
Demi calls River, "where are you!" River screams into the phone.
"I had to go to Cassandra's office, I'll be home soon. I'm sorry, please calm down."
"I can't, you left. And you promised."
"I'm coming back, I'll be home soon. Please, breath."
"I can't!"
"Sit down on your bed." I can hear shuffling. "Okay good. Now take a breath in and hold it. Good, now breath out. Good girl."
"Momma, please come home. I can't be by myself."
"I have to talk to daddy. Take a breath. Good dove, now let it go. Dallas, is coming over, we will be home soon. Lay down, relax. Love you, Dove. I'll be home soon. I would never ever break my promise. I'll never leave you. I love you so much."
"Okay, momma." River sobs quietly, as she tries to breathe calmly on her own. She exhales, "okay. I love you too, momma. See you soon."