Letting go of self-restraint 5 - Great happiness in a small package

Chapter 11

Lan Xichen was sitting in the middle of a grassy patch that he had known his little brother was using to keep his not-pet rabbits, the same ones which were descendants of the one the Second Jade gave to Wei Wuxian the day he proposed to marry him.

Pets were not allowed in the Cloud Recesses however and they had agreed not to dare Lan Qiren too much just before the wedding. When they had told him, almost a year later, there was no longer only one rabbit. Luckily, Lan Qiren had still begrudgingly agreed under the condition, that the animals would not be kept as pets in a natural habitat near the back hills. That had been years ago however, now, nearly everyone, if not actually everyone, in the Cloud Recesses knew about the existence of this open pet rabbit pen and came here to feed them and play with them regularly, especially children.

Lan Xichen mused: "We were lucky that no one is here today. True, we have purposefully chosen to come here during the time when all the children will be at school and everyone else is performing their duties. But still, it is good that there are no distractions around. Wuxian agreed only reluctantly to let Nie Huisang play with A-Yuan and sit a little at a distance, not really interfering with the game but also not far enough that he would not be able to jump into action should anything happen. I suspect he needs to go slow after all. I am not expecting any danger to arise right here, surely not from the docile and curious fur balls. And Nie Huisang is keeping an eye on the toddler as well, nothing will go wrong. Hopefully Wuxian will realize this as well and will be able to relax soon."

It truly looked like a perfect morning. The weather was just right, not too cold and not too hot, the rabbits were excited to be fed and they came out of their burrows voluntarily, hopping right towards A-Yuan, not even scared away by his loud laughter. Nie Huisang also had a wide smile on his lips as he was holding the child in his lap and supplying him with one carrot after another so he could distribute them to all the rabbits in turn.

The picture was so adorable that Lan Xichen suddenly felt his heart hurt. "How great would it be to see not A-Yuan in Nie Huisang's lap but my own child?" Lan Xichen sighed longingly.

He quickly shook his head. "Those are silly thoughts. Of course, this fantasy, no matter how sweet and how much wanted, could never become true. First, although me and Nie Huisang had become something more than just friends over the years, there is no way we can actually be together. Mingjue would never allow it. I know fully well what he wants for his young Omega brother: a strong Alpha to protect him and to give him a large family."

Lan Xichen sighed internally again, making sure that his expression would not betray the clouds which had just past over his mind. He should not be longing for something he could not get. He was no Alpha, so of course he should not dream about this. He could not give Nie Huisang the so expected children, it would truly be a miracle to get pregnant when the bond would be between a Beta and an Omega. He was not ready to risk his lover's happiness over this.

Instead, Lan Xichen chose to focus on the adorable image of a happily laughing A-Yuan and Nie Huisang who was holding him safely and securely. Without a doubt, this was a great day to leave the Jingshi and go enjoy fresh air, sun and the rabbits.

The only thing was that Wei Wuxian did not seem to think along the same lines. He and Lan Wangji, still sitting on the very edge of the grass field, did not exactly look to be too comfortable or enjoying the moment. Both parents seemed very tense and it was like Wei Wuxian was almost crushing Lan Wangji's hand, who in turn was frowning slightly and hugging his husband while whispering something right into his ear.

Lan Xichen pitied the both of them. Wei Wuxian for still being imprisoned by his fears and by what his adoptive mother had done to him years after he had been rescued from her clutches. And Lan Wangji because he loved his soulmate so much he was sharing all the worries and pain with him. Quite literally at that due to their shared mental bond.

He wanted to stand up and go help with soothing the Omega's fears but he held himself back. Partially because he was not sure Wei Wuxian would even register his presence in the state he was in. His eyes were locked on A-Yuan and his whole body resembled a tightly wound spring, only waiting for the smallest of pressures in order to jump up into action in a fraction of a second. And partially because he had promised to watch the toddler together with the Qinghe Nie sect heir and he was not about to go back on his word and leave them.

They had previously agreed with Nie Huisang that this was the best way to help Wei Wuxian overcome his anxiety of leaving A-Yuan's side even for a second.

"We have to show him that Wuxian can let his son go outside and also be watched by other people than just him or Wangji personally. A-Yuan is still young, but it would cause a serious problem if his parent remained this overprotective; he would not be able to go to school like all other Gusu Lan sect children and it would greatly hinder his future.

I had once been in Wei Wuxian's shoes and regret my choices until this day. I cared for a child Wangji and helped him hide from the whole world. I knew nothing better at that time. However, it only caused grief and pain to both of us later in life when Wangji had become too closed off and had not liked interacting with other people aside for his immediate family. Luckily, Wuxian had managed to draw him out of his self-imposed solitude. I am not about to support another case like this; one lost childhood was more than I am willing to tolerate."

Lan Xichen's eyes were attracted back to A-Yuan and Nie Huisang by a sudden movement. It seemed like all the carrots have been distributed and the rabbits were now happily munching on them without paying any more attention to those who gave them the treats. This did not look to sit well with A-Yuan and he jumped up from Nie Huisang's lap and started toddling around the grass field, trying to reach the closest animals. He was adorable on his still unsteady legs as the Qinghe Nie sect heir shot to his feet as well and followed him, probably ready to catch him if he should fall.

Lan Xichen turned his head back in order to look at the toddler's parents, he needed to check Wei Wuxian's reaction to the sudden change of pace. He could only hope that the Omega would not become too anxious and stressed out.

When he looked over however, he could see that Lan Wangji already had everything under control and was pulling his husband back into his lap gently. Wei Wuxian must have stood up at the same time as his son, but was now letting himself be soothed by his fated partner.

"This is good, very good even," thought Lan Xichen fondly with relief, "Wangji will be able to calm Wuxian down just fine."