Letting go of self-restraint 5 - Great happiness in a small package

Chapter 31

Nie Huisang was secretly grinning like a fool as he was walking behind Lan Xichen to the Gusu Lan sect leader's quarters. He was of course hiding his face behind his favourite fan as not to get anyone any weird ideas. After all, nothing was yet confirmed and he could still be misreading the situation. Although he was more than eighty percent sure that he had just heard correctly.

He could not quite believe his luck at finally getting a chance: "Xichen had just called me only by my courtesy name. Was it intentional? Or had he just let himself slip because he is overworked and was in a hurry? But. He did not reprimand me when I also used the same familiarity with him. If anything, he was smiling a little more genuinely and less politely than before. I cannot wait until we will be alone, not having the whole Gusu Lan sect seeing us, and will be able to talk.

I know for a fact that Xichen is not taking me as simply an acquaintance, our relationship is far closer. Even closer than friends if I can hope for that. However, I need to confirm with him that he sees me the same way I see him: as a lover, my beloved despite our second genders. It would be really bad if I misunderstood and he treated me kindly because I am the only little brother of his long-time friend and sworn brother."

Nie Huisang had been until this moment convinced that his feelings were being returned and Lan Xichen's polite distance was just that, polite but bordering with something more. He was however nervous now that their relationship may – or may not, but he did not want to think about this possibility too much – turn into something more. Perhaps he would not even have to resort to seducing Lan Xichen to make the Gus Lan sect leader realize how he felt about him, they would just talk it through in a moment. That was what he wholeheartedly believed.

And his hopes were not let down when he and the Gusu Lan sect leader arrived and entered his private quarters. As soon as there was no longer any possibility that someone would see them, Nie Huisang let his fan fall down from where it had been covering his face. When he was with Lan Xichen, he did not want to disguise himself and pretend that he was someone else. Anyway, the Gusu Lan sect leader already knew that he was a master mind behind many schemes and commanded an army of spies, he did not have to make an effort to look like a weak Omega in his eyes. He could be himself for once.

Lan Xichen apparently had been just as hopeless as Nie Huisang, for a while now from how quickly he closed the door and turned around. Then, before the Qinghe Nie sect heir had time to fully register what was happening, the Gusu Lan sect leader closed the distance between them and they were kissing.

At first, it had only been Lan Xichen gently putting their lips together, either too shy, uncertain or inexperienced to know any better. But after the initial shock, Nie Huisang was already responding with more and more vigour. After just a few seconds, they were full on kissing as if their lives depended on it.

When they finally separated from each other and untangled their hands from their hair, they were both panting for air. Nie Huisang was blushing hard, he could feel his cheeks burning and he was suddenly lightheaded. This was his first true kiss ever, not counting the ones he had given his parents. No matter how improbable it felt, in all his twenty years of life, he had never had any romantic relationships. Only now, with Lan Xichen.

"I have been waiting for the perfect partner, the one and only for me. The one I would want to spend my life it and depend on." He thought while his head was still slightly spinning and his lips were parted, longing to continue the previous activity. "It is just that I have never thought it would be someone like Xichen. Brother had always told me that I should be looking for a strong Alpha who would be able to protect me from any harm. But Xichen is a Beta... Still, I feel so safe with him. Moreover, he is the leader of one of the major sects, he has enough power and strength to protect me. Brother will not be against this."

As such, it was now time for Nie Huisang to return the favour. Before the Gusu Lan sect leader's eyes fully cleared, the Qinghe Nie sect heir pulled him closer once again and initiated another series of deep and hungry kisses. He had been longing for this for far too long. It has been almost four years since the time he had started looking at Lan Xichen with different eyes. If it was possible for an Omega and a Beta to be fated soulmates, he believed that they would have been together long ago.

Unfortunately, they would not be able to create such an unbreakable bond, their second genders were simply not compatible enough. "Not that it would stop me though. I knew from the very beginning that Xichen was someone very dear to me, even as a small child when he would play with me after visiting brother. It may be unusual, but not completely unheard of. We can still form a proper bond; it is just that a chance for children would be very low. But I am sure we can make it work now when we are finally getting together."

Because there were no longer any doubts in Nie Huisang's mind that they have indeed just confessed their mutual love. It could simply not be that Lan Xichen was only acting like he liked him and was not in love with him, was not serious about their relationship. The Gusu Lan sect's rules prohibited lying or any other act of pretence; but more importantly, Lan Xichen was just not the kind of man who would play with someone else's feelings maliciously.

It did not take long and they were already both out of breath again. This time, they separated much more slowly and stood there, looking at each other with something akin to awe and wonder in their eyes. After all, they had both be been longing for this and they were finally getting their wish granted.

"Huisang," Lan Xichen said after what felt like several hours spend by discovering every inch of each other's face, "can we really...?"

The Qinghe Nie sect heir did not let him finish his sentence and kissed him again instead. Less hungrily this time and more in order to stop his insecure question. If Lan Xichen still did not believe their relationship was allowed, he would show him what he thought about it. For once, Nie Huisang did not feel like talking at all, he would demonstrate his love for the Gusu Lan sect leader with his body. He grabbed Lan Xichen's hand into his and all but dragged him to bed while starting to discard his clothes.