Our Little Secret

Roman (34)

I feel the multiple shots hit me. They all burn like fire through my body. Im going to die.

"Roman. Stay with me. Please baby! Im sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, you can make it!" Kade sobs.

"Kade-" I whisper, barely able to get it out.

"What baby?" He cries.

"Tell my mom i love her-" my breath hitches.

"Roman, please, don't leave me."

"Kade. I love you- s-so much. This- is not th- the end of u-us."

And suddenly, the world goes still. My body feels heavy. I just hear Kade and his sobs.

"I love you baby. Im so sorry. This isn't the end. I love you. I love you."

I take a breath in. The world was not nice to me. It felt like I lived through hell. But meeting Kade was the best thing that has every happened to me. He will never recover from this. And I know he will hurt. I wish this wasn't our goodbye. This isn't the end of us.

I see Kades face looking down at me. He kisses me one last time. The world goes dark. And everything is silent.
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Kade

He's gone. My love. My one and only love. My life. Gone. In my arms, I'm covered in his blood. I sit there and sob. I sob so loud that I want someone to find me. To take me and kill me.

It's all my fault. He wasn't supposed to die. We were supposed to get married and grow old together, and now, I'm left alone. No one.

My whole world is just gone.

"NO!" I scream.

"NO NO NO NO NO!"

"I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry." I say to his lifeless body, rocking him back and forth.

I take out my phone and call one of my guys. I call his mom. It rings for a second and she picks up.

"Kade? Is everything okay?"

"I-" I cant get the words out.

"I'm sorry. Im so, so sorry." Is all I can say. I start crying again.

"Kade what happened?"

"He's gone. He's gone. Roman he- he's gone." I say.

"Kade. Im flying down right now where are you?"

"I'm at my base, im holding him. I don't know what to do."

"It's okay," she says, as her voice breaks.

"Just leave him, you can come back, go home go clean up first."

"It's my fault. It's all my fault im so sorry." I say.

"Stop it. It's not. You did nothing wrong."

"He said he loves you. So much. he would always tell me how much he loved you. Im so sorry Gwen." I say, not able to contain myself.

"Kade. I-" she can't finish.

"I'll see you when I get there." She says as her voice breaks.

She hates me. She knows it's my fault. I killed Roman. I killed the one person I loved the most. Im a murderer.

I look at Roman's lifeless face again. I know what I have to do.

I lay him down and I walk to the front doors. I get in my car and just start screaming. I let it all out.

After having no energy left, I start my drive home. Not going too fast, I take my time.

Time. Something I thought would never run out. I stopped time for Roman. He would hate me.

When I get home, I go to my dining room table. I sit down at one of the chairs and just stare blankly at the table.

I killed him. Roman. My love. I'll never see his smiling face or hear his wonderful laugh again. I took that away from him.

I keep hearing his screams as Jason hurt him. The screams when Jason hurt me. I hate Jason. Im not sorry for killing him. He should've killed me. I deserve to be dead.

And then it hits me. I deserve to be dead. Im living for nothing now. My mafia is dying, my true love died and now I have no one who loves me. Life is pointless without Roman.

My life is already over.

I sit at the table for a while. I sit there for 3 hours. Thinking about all the times I had with Roman. All the wonderful things about him. He was the best thing that has ever happened to me. He deserved the world and more.

I took away everything from him. I told him I would never hurt him and I ended up killing him.

Intrusive thoughts race through my mind once again. But this time, I don't do anything to stop them. I start to get up, stopping before I move any further. Making sure that I'm making the correct decision. I am. I hurt Roman.

I killed him. Im a killer.