forced to be loved (nph)

Xie Yizhen in memory

The pale face was like the cold moon hanging high in the sky in winter, quiet and cold, not stained by dust, for the outside world, and for myself. Now that it is held in the palm of the hand, it has turned from an unattainable moon into a soft and delicious rice ball, and anyone has to knead it, trying to leave their own traces on it.
Shen Yan looked at the front with an unconscious gaze, she did not cry, and it was impossible to cry even now, for others and herself, she maintained an unbelievably calm, and even calmly wiped her face in Cheng Simian. Holding his wrist between her legs, she asked him, "You came back so early?"
Her eyes were as calm as water, and there was no hope, only boredom and weariness. That's enough. enough. She didn't even want to hear the answer from Cheng Simian's mouth, but even in such a mood, what her ears caught still shocked her and Ji Mingyue next to her, with different expressions, "Xie Yizhen is outside the door." She blinked slightly, and heard Cheng Simian's second sentence, "I, agreed with him, he will pick you up."
"..." Why not earlier. Blame him or blame the men I met. Maybe she didn't even think about it, just suddenly agitated, her pupils shrunk, her nails sinking into the man's skin. "I see." Shen Yan said, his voice very calm. This is not the calmness that the name Xie Yizhen gives her, but it is too boring to tweak at this time.
Shen Yan put on his clothes and grabbed a pistol from the wall. This is a very simple matter. Because of Cheng Simian's personal hobbies, this place is like a small museum of guns. There are all pistols from different countries and different periods that suit him. They are cold, dangerous, and beautiful. It is a beautiful work of art and a treasure in people's hearts.
"What are you doing, put it down." Ji Mingyue's face was very bad, and he wanted to take the gun from her hand.
"Why am I always afraid of death? In fact, if someone wants to accompany death, I don't have to be afraid. I think too much, but do less." Shen Yan turned around to avoid, first pointing to Ji Mingyue, who was beaten and bruised, "I I've never touched a gun before, and I don't understand the shooting posture and various requirements, but I still understand one thing, and I should have done it earlier." She opened the insurance, pulled the sliding sleeve to load it, and fired the first shot at Ji Mingyue. "I should have shot you long ago." What's a stab wound in the stomach?
Of course, as a novice, Shen Yan's head was astonishingly bad. The first shot missed and hit the wall instead. But it doesn't matter, she can keep up the good work. After all, Cheng Simian, who was standing on the side, didn't say anything. Not even two-on-one.
"Uncle." Ji Mingyue picked up a gun on the wall, and held the gun down in his palm. He simply looked at Cheng Simian, hoping that this person who had no hatred between the two sides could stop it. But in fact, Cheng Simian's face finally lost the irritability of beating him just now, instead, he was as cold as usual when he saw him.
"Mingyue, I won't let you die." He said decisively, the meaning of which was clearly understood by all three. Of course Cheng Simian will stop it - before Ji Mingyue has a wound that will inevitably die. In turn, it can be easily learned that it is not the wounds and bloodstains in the fatal place, but he can fully tolerate it.
Seeing this scene, even Ji Mingyue, who was the operator at the beginning, couldn't help laughing, and his face became a little crazy, "Am I betraying my relatives now? At that time, you knew that I tied a woman and came back and didn't even hear it. Ask, now I'm standing with her instead--" He suddenly covered his stomach, his voice became distorted under the pain, and his beautiful eyes were a bit incredible, "Sister, are you really doing this to me?"
Shen Yan The reply to him was the continuous sound of two piercing voices, she said softly, "Well, I'm doing this to you, you can also raise the one in your hand, just aim at me and kill me. But, I won't be afraid of you anymore." This time, he really took his life down. She smiled happily, happy that she was finally hurting others instead of letting them hurt her.
hurt others. hurt by others. Don't hurt others and don't let others hurt you. Shen Yan originally chose the third, but fate made her become the second, and now she has become the first. Like the water of time, rolling forward is the result that no one can change.
Shen Yan slapped the pistol on the table and looked at Cheng Simian's emerald green eyes, as if they would always contain ice stones that were difficult to thaw, she said softly, "I need to clean.
" The warm water scalded into strange threads like white flakes, and she felt tired. What did her parents bring her, what did her marriage bring her, what did her friends bring her, what did other people's love for her and her love for others bring her... Yes, all of a sudden, When Qi Peibai was forced to orgasm, when Qi Peibai said that she had liked him, Shen Yan realized that the strange feeling that was unfamiliar to her at that time was liking. She really liked him once, when she was with Gong Ze, when she was with Xie Jingming, and she didn't even change when she was with other people who had dated and broke up. This feeling that I don't understand, if I don't break through to the situation of having sex, I'm afraid it will continue forever. But the fact is that he forced her, so the feeling of liking was lost and replaced by disgust.
After changing into neat and tidy clothes, she looked at herself in the mirror. Delusions or delusions, I always feel that I am getting more and more... Rather than beautiful, it is more accurate to say three words of spirit, just like people in their 40s will not look better than people in their 20s under normal circumstances. Younger and in such a decadent mood, she shouldn't look bright. This is definitely not Shen Yan's self-loathing of himself, wanting to see himself in a state of embarrassment and taking pleasure in it. Rather, it doesn't make sense. "It's so weird," she said, and couldn't even be too happy for herself. But in the end, there are too many strange events happening around her, so what's the difference.
Whether breathing is difficult, heartbeat is uneasy, this step must be taken. Shen Yan stepped out of the room, and did not imagine the scene where she walked quickly to Xie Yizhen, raised her chin and pretended to be as arrogant as yesterday, because she was already held in his arms by the other party - under Cheng Simian's eyes. The strength is not heavy, the eyes when looking up are very gentle, and the feeling of being too cherished makes people unable to push them away.
This is not love, nor is she grateful to the savior, it is just very peaceful... Maybe she loves tranquility and calmness by nature, treats everything with peace and indifference, and has no slash and axe, murder only for her own happiness, and she will be doomed. Unhappy, uneasy.
"Xie Yizhen, I don't want to go back... Xie's house." Shen Yan bit the last two words lightly, she didn't want to call that place home, and of course it wasn't here, she became a child without a home again. It seems that it was like this when I was born in my mother's womb, and it still hasn't changed exactly. Thinking of this, her heart moved, her stomach, children, Xie Jingming... She should be prepared to deal with it.
"No." Xie Yizhen firmly affirmed her words, but the voice was a tone she had never heard before, Shen Yan raised his head in surprise, "You have become so weird." The voice was soft. He used to be very polite and alienated. After all, people in heaven, now... She suddenly understood something, her face became embarrassed, and she pushed him away with a palm.
"Moody and moody..." Shen Yan smiled slightly, "I thought I should put the adjective on you, but I didn't expect that one day I would be able to use it." She opened her mouth to say something ugly, but she couldn't really say anything. For Xie Yizhen, who is not a husband, not a blood-connected relative, and always acts like an outsider, it is not appropriate for him to ask too much from his uncle.
Even so, Shen Yan hated himself like this. Can't she take the initiative to hurt people who haven't hurt her, can't she trample, bully, and kill at will? Yes, she hasn't done that yet, and good people don't do that. But those who are considered strong by everyone do so. Shen Yan can see clearly that people who hurt others and who ignore others being hurt, as long as they are willing to express a little warmth from a high position, the public will be moved by them. And the weak and the injured will show their bloody wounds for others to see. People will also think that the wounds are not beautiful, and it will be annoying to expose them in public places. Isn't she so? Didn't she thank Cheng Simian for ignoring his nephew's pain and injury, didn't she feel moved by seeing Xie Yizhen when she was vulnerable? Of course, very few, and short-lived enough to be brittle as a foam. But what Shen Yan was annoyed about was that there were very few, so she couldn't have none at all? How far has this human heart been abused and domesticated, so that it can quantitatively capture the kindness and tenderness of others like a machine?
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