Bad habits /Jookyun/

Nothing left

2 years ago

"CHANGKYUN!"
"FUCK OFF!"
Slamming our bedroom door and locking it I started sobbing I kept thinking when did our relationship get so bad. He kept banging on the door
"Go with those bitches you kept talking to"
"Are you fucking kidding me, they were fans of my music I was just being nice"
I fell to the floor leaning my head back on to the door
"Do you make it a fucking habit of flirting with your so called fans...oh wait you do!"
"It doesn't mean anything it's practically my job, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" Jooheon started kicking the door, at this rate the poor door would probably snap in half.
"And what about you, huh you tried to get back at me by grinding on some random ass guy!?"
"Leave me alone!"

I went to his night stand searching for my headphones I lend him, i didn't want to hear him I wanted to drown out everything by hearing music and that's when I found the bag containing drugs, drugs he had sworn off. My hands trembled I was angry I had enough I packed my belongings not caring about our relationship any more. I opened the door walking out with a bag in each hand.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"Jooheon, I can't do this anymore"
I sobbed the eye make up I had was probably smeared all over my face
"You're leaving me? Because of something so stupid" I stayed silent a part of me wanted to stay and help him get better, hug him and pretend it would all be okay but the other part deep down inside knew it wouldn't be okay not until he can help himself.

"Jooheon, when was the last time you were sober?" I asked him
"I-I've been doing good" he said nervously his eyes shifting everywhere else in the room but to me
"Don't you fucking lie to me Lee Jooheon! I'm not stupid" I threw him a plastic bag he stared at it eyes wide he said nothing.
"Pills and weed? you got quite the taste don't you, you selfish asshole, do I mean nothing to you! You promised on our love Joo" at this point I was full on yelling, sobbing mess he promised me he would leave this junk.

His eyes began to tear up he comes closer but I step back I didn't want him to come close if he did I might not want to let go because to me jooheon was my addiction but I wasn't his.
"But I-I need you baby"
I shook my head trying to wipe my tears
"No, you use to need me, now your just use to me. I use to think I would be able to change you, to save you're soul but you don't listen you don't want to be saved and I won't try to anymore"
"Nonono baby you don't mean that, l-look this time I won't do it no more ok it was just a little bit just to take the edge off nothing else I-I wasn't using like before" he fell on his knees and I had to look away I was mentally and emotionally drained
I slapped his hands away from me as I ran out the door.