The Origin of something new (mha ff)

Chapter 63

"Eri is out with Mirio." "That's what I thought." Kaede was lying on Eri's bed when Izuku closed the door. "It's kind of silly that I go away from others on purpose and you still follow me around every time. Is being alone for a bit too much to ask?" "I'm not here to disturb your solitude. I am here because your words made me think." She turned her head so she could look at him. "What words?" "That you don't want to be here, that you don't belong here." Because she didn't reply, he continued, "I know it might be difficult, but-" "Izuku, if you're going to lecture me about how great it is to be a hero and that I should stay in this school, then stop. I'm not leaving. It's not like I have a choice. You're making me all nervous standing there, sit down." Izuku pulled on the chair and sat down. "That's not what I meant. I'm not questioning your reasons for becoming a hero, I'm wondering something else..." He looked at her as if scanning her to be sure once more. "Start talking, I'm losing my patience- " " Do you want to kill yourself?" She stared at him as if she had to process the words first. Gears worked in her head, searching for an answer, but she spoke before she could think. "What?" Her voice was low and high, a broken voice. Izuku didn't stutter, he didn't hesitate, and he didn't seem as uncertain as usual. "Do you want to live?" She didn't know which question to answer because she didn't have an answer for either one. He read in her gaze that she would not answer. "Living is hard, but it's worth it. Every moment that makes you happy will be worth the pain-" "How do you know? How do you know it will all pay off? Don't talk like you know." "I don't know. No one can answer for you, you have to find it for yourself. I can only answer for myself." Kaede saw him hold his breath before continuing. "I wanted to kill myself, you know. I know I didn't want to live then. There were people who wanted me to live and people who wanted me to die. I stood on the roof, I wanted to do it, but I didn't." Softly, hiding the shock, she asked "And why did you change your mind?" He twisted his mouth. "I wanted to live for others. I couldn't die and leave my mother behind. Kacchan would have blamed himself, he didn't mean it. I couldn't go like that." "Why would Katsuki have blamed himself?" Nervously, Izuku waved his hands around. "What? No, I didn't mean it like that!-" "You came here to disturb my solitude, now talk to me too. Why did you want to kill yourself? How did that happen and what does Katsuki have to do with it?" He looked at her. She gave him time to sort himself out. "I was quirkless. Society doesn't treat us well. It was a tough time for me because even my previous friends, including Kacchan, were against me from that point on. They often told me to kill myself, beat me..." Her hand was on his knee to show him that she was there for him. He smiled. "...The details are not so important. Anyway, my Quirk had formed, I can achieve my dream after all. All is well again." She frowned. "It's all good Kaede, I-" "You lied." "What?" "When you said your Quirk had formed, you lied." Izuku was pale. He wondered how else he could get out of the situation. "If your Quirk didn't form itself, you must have gotten it from outside. A villain?" She felt, thinking. "No, not a villain. A hero?" She smiled. Izuku panicked. "Ahhh, so that's it." Izuku gave it up. "I knew you were smart enough to figure it out." "Allmight gave you his Quirk?" "Yes. How did you figure it out so quickly?" "I already suspected something. I always felt the connection between you two, your feelings for each other, but there was more. Something in your Quirk connected you, as if your Quirk itself had feelings that bound an invisible line between you. In Kamino, Allmight said 'You are next'. I immediately thought of you. Tsuyu said before that your Quirks are similar. And now your lie. I'm sorry I found out, but the lie put it all together. You were Quirkless, but Allmight gave you his Quirk." "Now that you know, I guess I'll have to talk to Allmight." "You know, it doesn't really make any difference. What does make a difference, though, is the Katsuki thing." "Kaede, I don't want to talk about him." She eyed him. "Okay, I respect that decision." Izuku tried to bring the conversation back to the topic.
"Kaede, just so you know. I don't want you to kill yourself for any reason. There is no reason that would justify losing you." "You only don't see the reasons because you don't want to see them Izuku, but I feel the reasons. Every time I lose control, every time I touch someone, every time I sleep. I lose my mind. Even right now. They are worried about me. I feel I'm causing chaos. I am a burden Izuku, I cause trouble with my moods, with my quirk. I bring nothing but trouble to everyone close to me. And don't say it's not true. I feel it." "You are lying to yourself. Even if you are a burden, and no one sees you as that, we love you for your other side. Surely you know what Eri feels too. She is happy Kaede because of you. What you two have is special." When Kaede cried, Izuku sat down next to her on the edge of the bed and took her in his arms. "It's okay to cry. I cry all the time. It doesn't make you a burden, that's what friends are for. You have to finally understand that we chose to be there for you, that we like being your friends. We love you as a whole package, not just your good points. Friendship is not one-sided, you don't always have to do everything alone. We are here." Kaede knew he was telling the truth, but she still couldn't breathe under the tears and pressure around her. The air just wouldn't enter her lungs. She freed herself from Izuku's grip and stood up, but even so it didn't work. "Just stop breathing." She had to admit that was the best thing she had ever heard during a panic attack. She stopped desperately gasping for air. Her lungs were burning, but she was no longer cramping. "Now take a deep breath, but not too fast. Do as I do." They breathed in together, held their breaths, and breathed out again. Kaede shivered and crouched on the floor. Izuku sat down beside her and supported her back. When her body was only gently shaken, he suspected she had fallen asleep. "At least you can sleep like that."