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i let time pass, i wanted to talk to ashtray, i knew what words i wanted to say. but every time i would push away all the nerves i had, worried he would think i'm lying and we would go back to how we used to be, he gave me a look.. a look i couldn't quite understand, and all those nerves came back, and i never ended up doing it.
but i wanted to do it today, i didn't want this awkwardness between us for any longer.
school just ending, i pushed my way through everyone and sped walked over to ashtray. "ashtray! wait.. jesus, slow down."
i sighed in relief, as he slowed down and turned around. i finally stood next to him, and smiled nervously. "uh... hey?"
he rolled his eyes, "what, malani?"
i sighed again, he is not making this any easier. "okay. so, i didn't-."
just as i had finally began talking, i felt someone grab my shoulders, and i huffed in annoyance. "mal! hey, it's been awhile. uh, you remember that one boss.. drug dealer lady?"
ashtray rolled his eyes, making me shake my head and turn to face her. "hey.. rue, yeah i do. but i'm trying to do-." again, she cut me off.
"good! so i was thinking... you know what, i'm going to go with y'all because i have to tell fez." she nodded, pointing to fezcos car that had just pulled up. fuck!
i shook my head, noticing ashtray who had already started walking towards the car, and hurried over to him. "wait! i really want to talk to you." i breathed out, and he furrowed his eyebrows. "okay, talk."
i threw my hands up, "here?.. right now?.."
he nodded, and i glanced over to fezco and rue who was sat, fezcos eyes on us and rue talking to him. "they're waiting.. you know." i pointed out, and he glanced over to the two, but shrugged.
"okay.. uh." i started, taking a deep breathe before continuing. "hurry up." he crossed his arms, making me roll my eyes. "relax."
"okay. i didn't cheat on you. okay? that guy.. troy? i didn't even know his name until he came up to me, and i didn't know he was the one that texted me. and i also don't know who he even got my number.. but anyway i didn't, okay?!" i finally let out, and then took a step back out of nervousness while i waited for his response.
he was silent for a second, before chuckling. "okay."
my mouth dropped, "'okay.' that's it?!"
he nodded slowly, making me throw my hands down from them being crossed. "i was so nervous to say that and all you say is 'okay.'"
he smiled, and i rolled my eyes, before making my way to fezcos car, hearing him chuckle behind me.
