Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
sometimes it truly felt like ashtray was.. forbidden. i mean first it was fezco not wanting anything to happen between us, and then miles.. and of course, amelia. and for some reason it felt like ashtray and i's relationship was only okay when we were alone. when no one else is around, when it's just him and i.
maybe that's a sign from god himself that it isn't meant to be. so why did it feel like it was? why did i love him? i'll never know.
walking down the long school hallway that i've began to hate, a hand touched my shoulder, making me turn.
speaking of miles.
"what?" i asked, glancing at his hand on my shoulder.
"relax.. i just noticed you and your boyfriend are all good again, huh?" he quickly smirked, his cocky voice making me want to chock him.
"mind your business." i rolled my eyes, walking away which made his arm fall from my shoulder.
"see you later, malani!" i heard him shout down the hallway, making me shake my head in return.
you know, him and amelia are probably some team, to break up ashtray and i. they're probably secretly friends that don't know how to kind their business.
———————————————————————————
rolling around on ashtrays bed, i turned to see him watching me with his eyes squinted.
"hey, you know you're gonna have to get your licenses soon?" i brought up, propping my head up with my hand.
"yeah." he nodded, moving back and forth in his chair.
"you could drive me around, we could go get food.. and i won't be scared that we're gonna crash!" i smiled sarcastically, making him roll his eyes.
"sure, mal." he chuckled, getting up from his chair, and i quickly got up to sit in it before he could again.
"the fuck are you doin?" he asked, now towering over me.
i smiled, "wanna spin me?"
before ashtray turned into a little bitch, when we were younger i'd also make him spin me in his chair until i was dizzy, and then we'd switch. but we haven't done that in awhile.
he stared at me for a moment, before rolling his eyes with a small smile and going behind me. i felt him out his hands on the back of the chair, so i put my hands on the sides and pulled my feet off the ground, as he began spinning me.
"holy shit." i mumbled, the room beginning to blur and my head starting to hurt the more he spent me around.
i heard him let out a little laugh before the chair slowed, and i looked up to see him smiling over me.
"your turn!" i got up way too fast, my head still spinning and now i felt lightheaded, so i grabbed onto him before i lost my balance.
"you good?" he chuckled, he grabbed onto my arm to see my face.
"yeah." i waved him off, and waited for him to sit down so i could spin him.
after we took turns spinning each other a couple more times, we both laid down on our backs, staring at the ceiling in silence.
i turned to him, but since he didn't notice me, i got a view of his side profile. ashtray is very attractive.. his long eyelashes, his nose, his lips, his personality. i like all of it.
i turned back to the ceiling, everything in me wanting to tell him i love him.. that i'm in love with him. but i didn't want it to be too soon, and maybe ruin everything. i didn't want to feel the heartbreak i'd feel if he didn't feel the same way. so i didn't, i just let the thought cross my mind and i kept my mouth shut.
and eventually, i went back to my room, plopping down on my bed, my face in my pillows.
i felt myself drifting off, until my phone rung and i groaned, picking it up.
"alexis" my phone screen read, and i sighed.
alexis alexis hey, are you busy right now? can we maybe meet up and talk? if you don't want to it's okay, you don't have to. just wanna see you again.
my eyes read over the message many times, "just wanna see you again." made my heart drop a little.
i pinched the bridge of my nose, before shaking my head and replying.
alexis malani sure. where?
i put my phone down immediately, wondering if i had made the wrong choice and if i'd regret it later. but i knew i'd feel bad if i didn't go.
so i sat there, bitting the skin on my lip as i waited for her to reply.
and as soon as she did, i picked my phone. my screen read an address, so i searched it up and it was one motel. motel. so she wasn't staying long.. maybe this "talk" is to tell me bye... whatever.
i stood up, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a random hoodie that was in my closet, and then put on my shoes, grabbed my phone and made my way to the front door.
"where you going?" i slowly turned, seeing fezco walking from the hallway.
i had hoped no one would notice me leave, incase they didn't think it was a good idea to go.
"anna's." i lied, that being the first person that came to mind.
"is she picking you up?" ashtray joined in, walking out from his room.
jesus christ. i sighed, "no, im walking."
he furrowed his eyebrows, "it's late." with fezco nodding his head in agreement.
i shrugged, "i'll be fine."
the both looked unsure, but was wasting time.. it was only getting later. "i'll text you." i told them both, rocking back and forth on my heels.
fezco sighed, "alright, be safe."
i nodded, going to open the door but i felt someone grab my hand, making me turn to see ashtray. "i'm coming with you."
i shook my head, "ashtray, i'll be okay, alright? i'll text you when i get there."
he shook his head, making me huff. "please? i'll be fineee." i dragged out.
he rolled his eyes, "fine. text me." he said stern, and i chuckled a little, but nonetheless i nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek, before finally making my way out the door and down the road.
luckily the motel wasn't that far, so i wasn't walking far. i kicked rocks on the road, hugging myself as the wind blew.
once i saw bright lights, i looked up at saw the motel in view.
AUTHORS NOTES:
guys a sad ending could be funnnn but honestly idk what i would even do 😭 idk if i want malani or ashtray to die, and IF i do that it's not gonna the same time as lexis play, that's happened thousands of times
