erotic [ h.s ]

Diffusion of the missle

" ugh , sorry about that " I slide back into booth , the leather making a awkward noise as I glided across it .

" you love him ?" Sipping his beer , Donnie doesn't look me in the eyes but tighten his jaw .
"Are you insane ? I just met him Donnie !" My tone takes a turn for hostility ... I mean I was pretty shocked he asked me that .... was he ease dropping on the conversation ? Sheesh .
" not if your soul mates " cutting his sapphire eyes up at me , they're swelling with pain , inflammation and tears " i-" he starts but cut off by his own whimper .
" Donnie , you are my soul mate . How could you say that ?" I hesistate to touch him and decide against it.
" Don't say that ! " ... Woah , did he just yell at me . " Donnie-" I pause . The trembling in his hands , red pulsing threw his tan face " you want to push me away don't you ?". How do I answer that ? It was yes but no at the same time . " I-i" Hesitant , in that time I realized , I no longer felt the same . And it was all Harry fault . In just a week , no one had ever made me feel so alive , and that was the thing . Everyone had their way of feeling alive but not control over what it was . Wheather it was Money , drugs , sex or God . Harry was the aspect that I had no control of . Every moment of being scared , mad , irrational , over zealous and drenched in pure lust had never felt me feel so ...exuberant.
" ... No " I stutter over my words .
" DONT FUCKING LIE " My arm is braced tightly , lunging me halfway across the table , pushing my knee roughly against the edge of the table . " DONNIE STOP "
ITS THE BEER . HE WOULD NEVER . HE WOULD NEVER HURT YOU . HE'S DRUNK .
I fasten my eyes ... 1...2...3- what the hell ?

" Dont touch her !" Bumps sprout all over my skin. " HARRY YOU CANT JUST D-" " GINA SHUT THE F*CK UP" My eyes refusing to unfasten , I'm stuck in the same position Donnie left me in . Move your legs you big dummy ! " YOU DON-" Gina voice is cut off by a vast collision noise ... Like a body knocking into a table of glass cups and beer bottles . " Taleah ?" His tone of voice is awkward . How do I even respond ? " HARRY GO ! THE MANAGER IS CALLING CAMPUS SECURITY !" I know its Gemma , she's the only one who would look out for him ... Plus that annoying voice . " ... Gemma she-" Cut off by his own thoughts , he takes a deep breath " I won't make you leave or move if you don't want to " He's hesitant , taking another breath he says " ...unless you give me your hand " and just like that my eyes open and the first thing I see is Donnie . He's unconsciously leaned back into the booth sloopishly . Quickly looking away , I'm faced with Harry's nearly see threw white shirt , starring at his butterfly tattoo . It stares back at me . I sigh . Knowing I was going to regret this but wouldn't at the same time because no matter what trouble or evil I inherited from Harry , I still took his hand .

And in that moment , I surrender to the devil .

even with my obscure vision , I didn't need my glasses to know everyone was starring at me like some kind of idiot . Everyone knew something about Harry that i quiet didn't . Before i can get a glimpse at anyone we are out the shack .

Admittedly i was scared ... the only thing i can hear besides crickets is Harry heavy breathing and oddly tight grip around my hand . " Harry " i call as soft as possible . I dont want to scare him or startle him or wake him from his thought or his dark place ... but if i just did , all i can do is run .

But there was this thing i feared , what if he hit me ? What would i do ? who would i tell ? would i press charges ? Could i still ... love him ? did i even love him ? OF COURSE NOT . It only been a few weeks and some days relax your knickers just cause he gets you hot doesnt mean you love him god !

What ever ...

it was just scary how distance someone could be when they were literally just right next to you .

" I cant believe he even touched you like that " clearing his throat in between , the words convey to me in a mutter.

Thank you for talking to me , we're clearly building some kind of trust.

" ... well how do you think he feels when you touch me ? The beer just made him braver." Keeping a easy tone , i take my other hand and touch his shoulder .

His body is shaking .... removing my hand i place it in my back pocket for warmth .... no fear , not warmth.

" Fuck him , i dont care ". He spits so nonchalantly . I cringe at his words . I still care about Donnie ...it bothered me the way he talked about Donnie but it also bothered me the way Donnie talked about Harry like ... he was a creep , when he wasnt . Just a little disturbed ... but everyone was.

" Taleah " He breaths .

" Yes ?"

" Do you think i'm fucked up?"

Yes he was , deeply , but I wanted him in every way no one else did.

" Badly " but i blamed his up bringing , not him. Society and the environment really sculpts a person ... truly defines them in a way .

" for what i did back there ?"

" Yes ... you cant hit people and shove girls as you please , Harry , you just cant ".

" But i did so now what Taleah ? Will god spite me ?"

" You see , your so-"

" I see it EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE ! I LIVE WITH MYSELF !" The grip around my hand tightens to the extent i'm on my knee's before him " Please let go " well that escalated fast ...

Viridescent eyes glare at me with ... Forbidden mercy ?
The pain in my hand dwells down and before i can even say anything he's gone .

Why is he walking away from me ?

Oh my god ....

He wanted to hurt me