erotic [ h.s ]

i want mines

Goodbye ? What the f*ck did that even mean ?

I didn't want to go another f*cking week without talk to her . GODAMMIT . Donnie didnt deserve her ... But neither did I .... I hit her right in her face , harshly , like she was just some man on the street looking for a problem. Taleah was more then that . She was the kind of girl to tap on the back of her hand not beat with a belt .
The kind of girl you gave head to with no hesitation because the appearance of an angle is pure.
The girl you held hands with not groping her ass.
The girl you sent home with a kiss on her forehead not in attempt to get laid.
She was the girl that no one deserves.

" Are you okay ?" Jenny red hair rains a imagine of Taleah blood leaking from her nose in my head . She comes up from inbetweeen my legs , glaring at me with ... Worry ?

" Yeah " i nod , gnawing my bottom lip till the bitter taste of blood sweetens my taste buds .

" Yeah well your sex drive isnt ".

I look down to see a limp .... Was i not in the mood ? " Baby you gotta' jerk it up a bit " She didn't have to do sh*t . I want Taleah to suck me off or simply talk to me not Jenny ... f*ck.

Cutting her eyes up at me , a deep sigh of digust follows . She frustratedly throws herself back up in the passenger seat with fasten arms to her chest.

" Take me home now Harry ".
" What ever " i shrug , zipping up my pants i use my other hand to start the car , quickly cutting on the radio to avoid silence.
" REALLY HARRY?"
What ? " Do you not like music ?" My eyes widen . WHAT DID I DO TO HER TO MAKE HER ACT LIKE THIS ? Maybe if she sucked harder , we wouldn't be in this predicament. Sheesh . Years of sucking binkies and Popsicles and your this bad ? My god.

" your just going to drive me home?" Frantically , she yells at me.

Is that not what she wanted ? Im confused " Uh .. Yeah .. ? "

" f*ck you ! It's that stupid freshmen isnt it ?"

Yeah it was that captivating stupid down to earth jesus loving petty immature freaky motter mouth freshmen .

" Cmon Jen , i don't give a shit about her . She's a god damn virgin " ... In other words , alonely cause i couldn't fit .

" Really ? You did that whole number infront of her boyfriend for no reason then ? Hmm ?"

" Jesus Jenny " I drop my head on the steering wheel " you know how i get when i drink ".
" ...yeah but i never seen to chase a girl either , Harry ".

What do i even say ? 

This isn't even about me , it's about Jenny.

Was it feelings ? Cause i wasn't the guy. Jenny was just a main squeeze to me , nothing less and maybe even a friend , probably even a rebound if i was intoxicated enough .

" Let me just get you home".

The drive is silent. And i wont deny even without a word shedded i figured our connection was over.

Or was it money ? Did she need a raise ? I would hope she was comfortable enough to ask me... Sheesh im tired , i needed sleep ! Last night was terrible . I shut my eyes but i was wide awake at my flat. I needed to bite the bullet of awkwardness and go to the dorm . Taleah presences comforted me ... So if it meant tense eye contact then so be it , i needed sleep.

I just want to hear her f*cking breath. I had to say something to her . I messed up admittedly and i didn't want us to carry on like this.
Desperation drives to the side of her bed. 
And in the most frail whimper ever" Harry " tossing flat on her back , she peers up at me with glistening eyes of tears .
All i can do is stare at her and take this moment it like toxins .
Her bottom lips gets caught between her teeth . Shyly she pulls the cover up over her mouth and whispers " I miss you".
Oh god , i can't feel my face.
Momentarily its so silent you can hear the music from the frat house blocks away and our faded heart beats .