Dark and Light

Chapter 34

My mind was fuzzy, the last remains of a dream being chased away by the realization that I am awake again. The sunlight had danced its way into the bedroom and lay upon my skin.  Pulling my arm from under the duvet, I rubbed my tired eyes.

“Morning, beautiful,” Chad’s hoarse voice mumbled.

My heart leaped to my throat. All events from the pervious evening came flooding to me. Every comment, every embrace, every kiss and every touch filled my mind. An overwhelming feeling took over my body and I felt like I was going to cry.

“Chad, hold me,” I choked out. I need him.

Chad’s body shifted in the bed before scooting over to me. His long comforting arms were tightly wrapped around my shoulders.

“What’s wrong?” he asked squeezing me.

That did it. Those two simple words pulled the trigger. My body began to vibrate as sobs wracked my shoulders. All different kinds of things were running through my mind. I was angry with Chad for sleeping with me. I was happy with Chad for sleeping with me. I was scared people would look at me differently. I was proud to not be a virgin. I was scared of an STD or pregnancy. I was happy I went through with it. All my emotions were bipolar. I honestly didn’t know how I was feeling.

“There, there,” Chad rocked me back and forth in his arms.

This time when comforting words were spoken they didn’t help. Whenever someone seems to ask if you’re all right or even when they tell you it’ll get better it never helps.

“Chad, we had sex,” I let the words tumble out. It felt funny to let them roll of my tongue. I felt so…mature.

I could tell Chad was smiling from the tone of his voice, “ I know. You did so well. I’m so proud.”

Wiping my tears away, I tired to toughen up.

“Let me go get you a pair of my boxers and then I’ll go make us some breakfast,” trying to make me feel better, Chad smiled.

I sniffled, “Okay, Chad.”

Yawning loudly, Chad climbed out of bed. He strutted over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. Tossing them to me he nodded before retreating out of the room.

Leaning up on my hands and knees, I went to grab the boxers. I clutched them tightly in my hand. I almost didn’t want to leave Chad’s bed because after I left, the whole thing would be over.

Sighing, I got up and dressed myself. I must have rolled Chad’s boxers 4 times just to make them a comfortable fit. My lower half almost ached with each step I took. When I trudge down the stairs, I groaned out every step. I was so exhausted from the pervious night.

“Well look who decided to join me!” Chad called looking up from his cereal bowl.

“Sorry. I’m tired,” I yawned.

“ It’s alright. I poured you a bowl of cereal. I don’t have a lot of food, I need to go shopping,” Chad blushed.

“You’re fine,” sitting down across from him, I smiled.

Everything happening felt so weird. I was expecting awkwardness but it wasn’t. I felt like Chad and I had been dating for years and were already living together. 

“So, how are you? How are you really?” Chad put extra emphasizes on ‘really.’

Assuming he meant my feelings, I trailed off, “ I think I’m okay. I’m glad I did if you’re wondering.”

“You liked it?” Chad looked puzzled.

“Not the pain but what the pain was for,” I looked away feeling embarrassed.

“Look at me.”

Looking at Chad, he had the biggest smile on his face.

“You’re beautiful you know that right?” Chad grinned larger.

My face blushed red as tomatoes as he complimented me, “Stop it.”

“Anyway, Aubs. I have work later on. Care if I take you home?”

I was slightly disappointed since I figured we would spend the day together. It only seemed logical for us to be together. Honestly, I just wanted to be with him.

“What time is work?” I questioned, afraid I’d have to leave soon.

“Not until later. We’ve still got some time you know,” Chad winked flirtatiously.

I chuckled, “What exactly did you have in mind?”

Chad seductively smirked at me. I knew what he wanted; it was obvious.  Nodding, Chad raised one eyebrow asking for my answer.

“Chad I’ve had enough for awhile. You took my virginity. Can you be happy with that?” I whispered.

“Aubrey, I was kind of kidding,” Chad sighed.

“Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?” I blurted out. I was actually surprised I’d been so upfront with him. I hadn’t even thought about that yet, but my mind was much more ahead.

“Whoa there. Slow down,” Chad sternly commanded.

Wait what. I was so confused. All the sweet things Chad whispered in my ear last night escaped away from my memory. “What are you talking about?” I almost shouted at him.

Chad shook his head, “Aubrey we are just like, well let me think of the word. We are kind of like, let’s use the words friends with benefits? You feel me?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My jaw was hanging opening; I was absolutely shocked. “What about everything you told me last night?”

Chad almost laughed. He almost laughed. “Aubrey, I was a horny boy who really just wanted to get with you. I’m done. You don’t have to stick around anymore. I promise I’ll leave you alone. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

The whole thing was spiraling out of control. What was even happening? I could feel tears start to fill my eyes. “Chad I don’t know why you’re doing this. Last night was so good I thought.” I choked my words out.

“I mean it was alright. You cried a lot. I’ll take whatever pussy I can get though,” Chad laughed.

I’m done. So done. Tears began to swim out of my eyes and down my cheek. Breathing became difficult so I didn’t speak. Chad sat awkwardly waiting for me to finish.

“I think it’s time for you to go home now, Aubrey.” Chad whispered.

"But you promised me! You promised I’d be your girl. You told me you were really falling for me. Chad, don’t do this please. Please don’t do this.” I cried.

“Aubrey, shut up. You knew I was trouble. You were so easy to trick. I barely had to try.” Chad slyly smiled.

Was the whole thing really a lie? All of it? Every touch and kiss was all for sex.

“Chad, you promised me though. You promised. You PROMISED ME!” I shouted.

~~~

Hey guys...let me know what you're feeling as regards to what's occured in the past couple chapters. What do you think of Chad and Aubrey going  "all the way?" What do you think about  this?

Also I'm going to try and get chapter 35 up on Friday;D Saturday the latest I promise.