He awkwardly fell onto the couch, tripping over his own feet and Padme tried to steady him unsuccessfully. Her heart reached out to him. Watching him like this was awful, physically painful. Now that they were in the light of the living room, she could see wet tracks down his cheeks, indicating that he had been crying. The bottle in his hand turned out to be rum, half-finished. She wondered whether he had been drinking it straight from the bottle. If so, it was no wonder he looked so terrible. Any other time she would have yelled at him for being so reckless, for being so careless and resorting to old habits, but she knew he was hurting. It would have to wait until he was sober. Very gently, she pried the bottle from his fingers, earning a grumble in protest, but Anakin was in too bad a state to do anything to stop her.
She came back moments later, glass of water in hand, and gave it to him, steadying his clumsy fingers with her own and guiding it towards his mouth. He drank generously and when she pulled away, his lips glistened with moisture. Even when drunk and messed up, and the heavy scent of alcohol was overwhelming, he was still undeniably beautiful. She sat beside him, smoothing hair out of his face, taking his hand in hers.
"Ani… what's wrong?" she asked, carefully, gently probing him, not wanting him to get too upset. She hadn't dealt with drunk Anakin before, she needed to be cautious.
It was then he trained his eyes on her, those eyes that she loved so much, red and moist and puffy. "M-my… she – she's... they found a… and I c-can't." He was slurring, stuttering, he made absolutely no sense. Frustrated with himself, he drew his knees up on the couch and rested his forehead against them. A sob wracked through him, entire body shaking and Padme didn't know what to do. She had no idea how to help him, so she simply rubbed his back, attempting to soothe his anguish.
"Anakin, you need to tell me what's wrong," she said softly. "Please. Let me help you."
"Can't," he muttered. "Can't help, Padme… she…" his voice broke as he tried, and failed, to get the words out and it was horrible to watch. "They found a l-lump. It's… it's c-cancer… " he broke down again, sobbing into his knees and Padme felt tears trickle down her own cheeks. Cancer. Anakin's mother had cancer, and she had only just gotten married. The news was so heart-wrenching that Padme pressed herself against Anakin's back, wrapping his arms around his waist, trying to absorb some of his sorrow. He trembled beneath her chest in uneven, shallow breaths and she simply held him, not knowing what else she could do to ease his pain.
Poor Shmi, she thought. That woman had been through so much, and just when she had found happiness, she was hit with this bombshell. And Anakin wasn't taking the news very well. She wondered when he had found out. How long had he been like this? Why was he here, when he could have gone to Obi-Wan?
"Oh, Ani, I'm… I'm so, so sorry." It was all she could say.
He lifted his head, blinking at her with teary eyes, droplets clinging to his long eyelashes, full of such sorrow that it hurt to look at them. "Padme, I – " He pressed himself against her, crushing her body to him, burying his face into the crook of her neck. The new position mean that she was almost sitting in his lap, legs crossed on the couch, and his were too, and their bodies were awkwardly pressed together, but she didn't care because all that mattered was Anakin.
"It h-hurts," he whispered against her skin, and the sound was so heartbreaking that Padme whimpered. His hands were sliding up and down her sides, over the thin material of her pyjama shirt, and even though she shouldn't feel that way, not now of all times, it felt far too good. His nose was moving, sliding up her neck, along the length of her jaw and she trembled with ill-timed arousal. "Please," he begged – for what? – and his lips were wet against the underside of her jaw, causing her body to heat up. "Help me, Padme." Lips brushed lightly against hers, and she knew she should push him away, because this was not right, it was so not right, but she couldn't help it. Her common sense was failing her with every second.
