How To Kill Ryder Blake (COMPLETED)

{Eleven} Dude, I Don't Wanna Die This Way

Ryan looked like much less like the "bad boy" he'd spent four years being, and more like the boy with no rebel left in him. Ryder had obviously taken some weird offense to Ryan coming into the bathroom to check on him, because the tension in the car was so bad I could pull out a knife and try to slice through it. I was extremely hungry, and even snacking on leftover cookies from Max's party, my stomach continued to growl. I just wasn't going to be the one to break the uncomfortable silence and get my head bitten off by one or both boys.

Eventually Ryder dozed again, causing the tension to dissipate a little on his side. I could still feel hostility and anger radiating off Ryan next to me. His elbow was pressed into the door, hand pressed into the side of his head. His other hand was on the steering wheel, clutching and unclutching it as he continued along the highway.

"I don't understand why you agreed to this. But thank you. I think he needs it." Ryan said quietly.

"To get away?"

"You."

I didn't know how to respond to his words, so I kept my mouth shut and stared at Ryder beside me. He looked so peaceful, at ease, when he was asleep. Like he was able to out run everything that was crashing down at him on once.

"You know, I know nothing about you." I looked over at Ryan. "Like, Ryder I had classes with and got to see everything first hand, but you, all I knew about you were all the rumors."

"Mhm." He tapped his index finger against the wheel. "And you believed them, didn't you?"

"I never had a reason not to." I answered. "I didn't know you or care to know you if everything everyone said about you was true."

He rolled his eyes. "I was so happy to get out of this hellhole. All Ryder and I did was live a life of rumors and bullshit after our mother died. We never had a chance to be us. We had to prove to everyone we weren't everything they believed we were."

When I didn't respond, he continued.

"Graduation Ryder started acting weird. Hadn't drunk even a sip of alcohol but threw up all over me and there was blood in it. Later that night he had cold shakes. I forced him into the car and took him up to the hospital. You can imagine how shocked and pissed I was to find out he'd been there a few months before and been diagnosed with leukemia. On top of that, he's refusing treatment. Doesn't want to take any medication. Doesn't want to do Chemo. He has a personal death wish."

I looked away from Ryan and at my lap, curling my fingers inward. Before I could respond, I felt Ryder's leg twitch next to me and he spoke.

"You saw what happened to Mom, Ryan. None of that worked. She still died. Instead of dying herself, she died a doped-up mess of who she used to be. I'm not letting that happen to me."

The mention of their mother caused Ryan to grow stiff beside me, his grip around the steering wheel growing so tight his knuckles began to drain of color.

"So you'd rather kill yourself and leave Zoey and me to mourn you, right? Because that's easier than trying to fight this shit."

"It's my choice!" Ryder yelled, sitting upright. "You can either learn to accept that or stay out of my life. Nobody told you to be here today."

Ryan snorted. "But it's okay for your to drag Zoey into all your problems too, right? Someone you've tormented our entire lives."

"Like you were any better! She actually gives a shit about me, unlike you."