How To Kill Ryder Blake (COMPLETED)

{Thirteen} Driving Motorcycles Off Cliffs For Dummies

I woke up at four am to Max knocking on my bedroom window. Under different circumstances, I would have gotten up in a heartbeat and let him in. It was something he'd been doing since middle school, a bad habit he'd fallen into. He'd grown so afraid of my father he'd come to my window any time he wanted to talk, hang out, or just see me. Even after my parents had divorced and my father was long gone, he'd continued to only come in through my bedroom window. He did it so often that my stepfather had started to get a offended, asking if it was something personal toward him.

"Zoe, please open the window." He pleaded, knocking harder.

So much for beauty sleep.

I tossed my blanket off the edge of the bed and got up, stalking across the room and opening my window with a glare. "What do you want, Max?"

"I want to talk." He leaned forward so his hands were on the windowsill. "You've been ignoring my calls and texts for two days."

"I was busy." I answered through a yawn. "And I really don't want to talk to you right now."

He tried to reach for my hand, but I yanked it back in.

"Zoe, I'm sorry." He dropped his hands to his sides. "Please let me in. Let me explain."

"Explain what?" I retorted. "Why you thought it was a good idea to kiss me? Or the fact that you've been in love with me for like ten years and didn't think to say anything? Cause I'm perfectly fine with you explaining from where you are.'

He ran a hand through his hair, looking defeated. "I'm sorry for kissing you. It was stupid and impulsive and I know that it was wrong. As for being in love with you, I don't know what you expect me to do. Should I apologize for that too? I can't help that I fell in love with you, Zoe. But I'm sorry that I did."

"I don't want an apology for that. I want a reason why you didn't say anything. Why you didn't tell me sooner." I deflected.

He pressed his hands back against the windowsill. "What was I supposed to do, Zoe? Just walk up and be like 'Hey, this is totally not weird, but I'm in love with you and I know you don't feel the same way.' It would have destroyed our entire friendship, Zoey. Not to mention Gabby is obviously in love with me, which makes shit a whole different level of complicated."

So he had known about Gabby?

"But you thought kissing me wouldn't ruin it?" I whispered.

"I thought kissing you would give me a definite answer." He reached over and rested his hand on top of mine. "But it was a huge mistake and now I'm even more confused. All I know for sure is I don't want to lose you, Zoe."

We'd had our fair share of petty arguments and fights through the years, but this one had definitely been in the top five, probably even number one. But staring at him, the one person I allowed myself to show emotions in front of, I could feel all the anger starting to drain from me.

"I love you, Max. As much as I love my Mom." I shook his hand free and pushed the window open more. "But I'm not in love with you. I won't ever be. I need you to understand that."

He climbed through the window and stepped in front of me. "I know, Zoe. I'm confused, sure. But I know where you stand. That shit won't ever happen again. I swear." He crossed his heart with his finger and hugged me against him. I rested my head against his chest, then reached to close the window, but paused. Ryder was sitting in front of his window, watching what had just happened as he had the other night. He offered a weak smile before he drew his blinds and disappeared.