How To Kill Ryder Blake (COMPLETED)

{Twenty-Three} Shadow of The Day

Summer came in the form of my mentally unstable, adrenaline seeking next door neighbor, Ryder Blake.

Summer left in the form of a dark cloud hanging high in the overcast sky over the cemetery as they lowered Ryder Blake's black casket into the gaping hole in the ground.

The melancholy was heavy in the air and nobody made any attempt to try and brighten it. People I'd never seen before, classmates that'd only ever watched from afar, my friends and family-all gathered around to pay respects.

But nobody felt the sadness more than Ryan. Though he was good at keeping up his guard and tough exterior, every few minutes his trembling hand would find mine and he'd lace his fingers through my own and clench hard until he was able to compose himself once more. This had gone on the entire service and burial, but watching as everyone started to file out to the parking lot set the reality of it all in and he was staring hard at the dirt, shoulders tense, hand still shaking.

"Ryan." my mom's quiet, angelic hum brought Ryan back from wherever his mind had wandered off to and he looked to my mother and Colin as they approached. She was in a black dress that mirrored my own, only mine had lace sleeves and was a little more body hugging against my wider hips. "Oh, baby, come here."

Without another word exchanged, all six foot-two of Ryan collapsed in my five-foot nothing mother's arms. It was the only real emotion I'd seen out of him in close to three weeks, and it was both a relief and a stomach-churning feeling watching the strong man break down. Colin, stepping aside, walked over with Kathryn in tow and they both embraced me tightly, watching Mom rubbing Ryan's back in comfort.

I'd been so busy trying to comfort my boyfriend and help him with planning the funeral I hadn't stepped foot inside my own house to see how my mother was doing. Mary had been her best friend and she'd lost her and had watched these boys grow up only to have one completely torn from her as her best friend had been. It must have felt as though she'd lost a child with Ryder's passing, and I'd been too selfish to realize she was hurting just as much as we were.

*

It was bittersweet, packing my entire life up in a tiny suitcase. Max and Gabby were out in my yard with Ryan and Cade, all still dressed in their formal attire, as my best friends were going to stop by the Parks before they headed for California and Cade had stated he was too lazy to try and change and would just take the blazer off on the drive there. I could feel my mother's eyes burning into my back, she'd been there for the entire half hour I'd spent racing around the room trying to figure out what to pack and what to leave here.

"You're always welcome back here, sweetheart." she finally spoke, wrapping her arms around herself as she stepped into my room. "You don't have to try and stuff it all in there."

I could see it, the sadness, as hard as she tried to conceal it. Not only had she just lost Ryder, but she was about to lose me for the next four years, possibly even longer if I found that I liked it in California.

"I'm scared, Mom." I whispered, glancing at my friends laughing over my shoulder. "I don't know who I am without them. I need them."

Mom reached out and brushed my hair out of my eyes with a sad smile. "No, sweetheart, you know exactly who you are. I had doubts myself after you graduated, but I think you've found yourself this summer. I blinked and you went from this scared little girl to this gorgeous woman right before my eyes."

"Stop, Mom. I've already cried enough these last few weeks to last me a lifetime."

She chuckled quietly and hugged me. "No tears over this, honey. You're going to do great at UCLA, and I'm going to call you so often you're going to put your phone on Do Not Disturb."