Sunbeam

18

October 12, 2019

"Don't pull it, my love, it has to happen" Binna smiled and Namjoon frowned even more. "But I love you!" he insisted and she looked at him fondly.

"I'm not asking you to stop loving me, dear, I'm saying you need to find a place in your heart for her too" she pinched his nose and pecked his lips softly. "Life doesn't always give us what we want, Joonie, but it always gives us what we need" Binna winked at him instructively.

"Besides, don't you think it's not fair to her? I know you're actually attached to her, you've never been this hot with me" she lay on her back in the grass next to him and stared up at the stars. "Our love was gentle and calm, there was never such passion. Sometimes I even envy her" Binna finished and Namjoon lowered his eyebrows.

"It's not true, we also experienced passion!" Namjoon demanded and Binna looked at him, her eyes burning with love and peace. "That's right, we had a passion. But, honey, admit it, she drives you crazy like I never could. Despite the passion between us, I was more your sister and confidant than your wife and lover" she raised herself on her elbow.

"Namjoon, stop fooling yourself." Binna scolded him softly. "Admit it and accept it, you don't think about me anymore when she's by your side, you've kept your promise, my love." she leaned down and kissed him. "You don't need me anymore, now you need her and what she gives you" Binna sighed and Namjoon pouted again.

"What do you mean I don't need you?" he asked. "I'll always need you, baby!" he turned and hugged her tightly, pressing her to his chest and kissing her gently.

"Is that how you kiss Ari too, Namjoon?" Binna pulled back and laughed as he looked down guiltily. "Oh, my love, when are you going to stop being such a stubborn baby. I can rest in peace now, I've fulfilled my role as a mother and wife as well as your friend. It's time for you to move on with her, Namjoon." she sighed again and stood up.

"Are you abandoning me?" Namjoon asked, tears welling up in his eyes. "Never, Namjoon! I'll always be there for you and the three of you. But accept that I'm dead and that all..." she looked around with a smile. "It's not me, Namjoon, all you needed to move on was for you to realize that yourself. You just decided to project what you already knew onto me so you wouldn't feel guilty about finding the woman , destined to live your life with her.” Binna pecked his lips again.

"I love you, Joonie, but you don't feel the same love for me anymore. And that's okay, really. It's time you started dressing your own desires as your thoughts, not my words." Namjoon rose as well and she cupped his face, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Thank you, Namjoon, for everything, for your love, for the respect, for the friendship, for the trust, for the family, for our daughter. But I want to rest. Now it's her responsibility to take care of Bangtan and be the wife of Kim Namjoon" Binna smiled sweetly. In her eyes he read pride, tenderness and calmness about his future.

"I love you Binna." he whispered and she smiled even wider. "Me too, my love. And goodbye, I'll watch over you, so, don't fail, trust her!" she kissed him one last time and before his tearful gaze, her body slowly began to dissolve.

Namjoon didn't try to stop her, didn't try to tell her to stay, he didn't need to. She would always be there for them, one way or another. But for the first time in a long time, he knew it was time to leave his wife's memory behind and move on under his own power. It was time for Kim Namjoon to come back as the man he really was. The one he had become after the book glory of his life with Binna was complete.

Namjoon opened his eyes and looked at Jimin. "How long until home?" he asked and Jimin looked at him with raised eyebrows. "We're home" Namjoon looked around blinking. The car was already stopping in front of the mansion's entrance. Apparently he had slept longer than he thought.

He had been gone for two days and he missed Ari and Izeul terribly. He waited impatiently for the car to stop and jumped out, almost running for the door.

Opening the door, the first thing he heard was laughter and his heart raced. He headed towards the living room and stopped at the door, watching Ari and Izeul tickle themselves on the sofa, laughing madly. Seokjin, Yoongi and Jungkook watched them with proud eyes.

"Daddy!" Izeul was the first to notice him and ran to him, throwing herself into his arms. Namjoon picked her up, tossed her lightly in the air. "Did you miss me, princess?" he kissed her face and she laughed even harder.

"A lot!" she hugged him tightly around the neck. "Go see what Uncle Jimin brings you?" Namjoon suggested and let her go. She squealed happily and ran to the front door screaming Jimin's name.

Namjoon looked after her with a smile, yes they would be fine, all of them. He felt light and calm, no more guilt, no regrets, no worries, pain and sorrow.

"How was the trip?" he turned back to the living room. "Great" Namjoon replied to Seokjin and walked straight towards Ari who was looking at him smiling, still sitting on the sofa.

“Will I have to…” Seokjin trailed off and gaped in amazement. Namjoon stood in front of Ari and held out his hand to her and she looked at him startled but slid hers into his palm.

Before she could say or do anything, he pulled her hard, wrapping his arms around her waist and sinking his lips into hers, kissing her madly, not caring that anyone was watching.

"I missed you, baby" he whispered into her lips and rested his forehead against hers. Ari blinked at him in confusion, looking up, her hands resting on his chest, she shifted nervously in his arms, throwing apologetic glances at Seokjin, Yoongi, and Jungkook.

"Are you okay?" Ari asked worriedly and Namjoon nodded, peck her lips again. "More than fine, I'm home now" Namjoon smiled and pulled her onto his lap, sitting on the couch.

"Did we miss something?" Namjoon grinned boyishly at Jungkook who gasped in surprise and his eyes widened in amazement. "Not much" Namjoon shrugged and his stubble graced his face.

"What are you doing, Namjoon?" Ari asked softly, nervously trying to get off his lap. "I'm hugging my girlfriend while talking to my people" Namjoon looked at her like she suddenly lost her memory and he had to remind her of everything.

"Girlfriend?" Seokjin raised an eyebrow and Namjoon nodded. "That's right, my girlfriend, so I advise you to keep your hands off her!" Namjoon replied sharply, holding her possessively.

"Daddy hug Ariiii!" Izeul flew into the living room, giggling happily, holding a huge doll. She hopped happily over to them and climbed onto Ari's lap, who wrapped her arms around her, keeping her from falling and glared at Namjoon.

Seokjin exchanged a look with Yoongi who just shrugged nonchalantly. "Okay, that's…new" he leaned back, still processing the scene he had witnessed.

"Sweetie, shall we take your new doll to meet the others?" Ari suggested to Izeul, feeling uncomfortable and wanting to run away. Izeul nodded and slid off her lap. Namjoon let her go and they both hurried out.

"I'm waiting" Namjoon simply said, looking after Ari and his daughter. When they were out of sight he turned to the three on the couch across from him, making himself comfortable.

"Girlfriend?" Seokjin repeated and Namjoon nodded. "Other questions?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Namjoon, don't be kidding, do you know how much..." Namjoon cut him off.

"It's okay, hyung. I know it seems weird, Ari will have to get used to it too. But she's my girl now so either accept it or learn to live with it" Namjoon smiled, catching them off guard.

"Did you hit your head, hyung?" Jungkook asked, still looking at him in shock. "You could say someone kicked my ass" Namjoon replied calmly.

“Welcome back, Namjoon” Yoongi stood up and looked at him approvingly. "But if you hurt her, I'll personally donate your ass!" he warned him before walking out yawning.