Sunbeam

20.

October 19, 2019

Ari wrapped herself tightly in her coat, staring up at the night sky. Winter was having its say and small snowflakes flew around her, falling and melting on the frozen ground.

Her mind wandered over her life, going through her school years, memories of her family, she remembered how she became a nanny. She looked up, remembering Hwan, for a moment she wondered where he was, but she really didn't care at all.

She sighed and involuntarily wondered how Namjoon was doing. She had been avoiding him for the last few days, unable to give him an answer. He did not press her, giving her time, as he had promised.

The few times they had caught each other, he had looked at her with pain and desire, waiting. She missed him, she missed his arms hugging her at night, the guest bedroom was cold and empty and her bed lonely without him.

A mobster, her boyfriend was not only a mobster, he was the boss of a mobster. How had she lived with them for so long and not realized it? Seven men in one house, without any blood relation and she wouldn't suspect that something was not right. The security, the cars, the disappearances for a few days at a time, what a fool she is, not to be noticed.

"You're going to catch a cold" she gasped in shock and turned around, sighing in relief. “Yoongi” he looked at her and then looked up at the sky as well. "Sometimes I wonder what we'd be like if we hadn't followed Namjoon and Binna" he sighed and Ari looked at him in surprise.

"Binna?" he looked at her and nodded. "She was the beginning. Before he met her, Namjoon was bartending at some seedy place" Yoongi smirked slightly. "Can you imagine him pouring drinks?" Ari shook her head and laughed.

“Binna was already a mafia princess, or at least she was before her family was killed by Kang Ji-Min” he turned his gaze to the sky again. "He was the one who killed her, the last of her family. The problem was that she was already Kim Binna" Ari listened carefully, until now no one had bothered to tell her about Binna, not even Namjoon.

"She and Namjoon really loved each other, I remember how happy they were when Izeul was born." Ari felt a stab in her heart. Namjoon had told her several times that he still loved Binna and always would. Was that the real reason she hadn't made up her mind?

Why? She had feelings for him, but did she love him? “When Ji-Min killed Binna, she passed away in his arms, making him promise to continue his life, for her and their daughter's sake” Yoongi pursed his lips and Ari looked at him expectantly.

"Then Namjoon became the man you found when you started working for us." he looked at her and narrowed his eyes. "You brought him back to his old self, Ari. I hadn't seen him smile at anyone but Izeul since Binna's death and before you came" she looked down thoughtfully.

"I don't know exactly how Namjoon feels about you, but I know he definitely cares about your relationship." she looked at him and he nodded at her. “Namjoon will always love Binna but she is his past, the fact that he moved her portrait speaks volumes for his desire to continue his journey with you” Yoongi huffed, staring at the steam from his breath that quickly dissipated into the air.

"I also know that what you are thinking about right now is a lot to bear and swallow easily. Being a mobster's girl is hard, it takes a lot of strength, loyalty and trust that he will be able to protect you" Yoongi looked at the sky again.

"Namjoon is strong and dangerous, at least in our world, but here with you, he's honestly never been this obsessed and possessive of Binna." Ari raised her eyebrows, wondering if she should believe him.

"To decide, first ask yourself if you have the strength to show courage when you're scared, to prove your strength by guarding Namjoon's. Because out there, when he introduces you to our society, there will be many people who will try to get to him through you” Yoongi exhaled again and smirked.

"Namjoon can give you the world if you let him. He will be loyal to you like a puppy, adore you and indulge your every whim because that's what Kim Namjoon is, a family man, faithful and loyal to the woman by his side. " Ari smiled slightly and looked up as well.

"The price though... You might have to get your hands dirty, Ari, and not everyone can take the blood stains especially if they are emotional and sensitive." he finished, and with a final sigh, left her alone with her thoughts again.

She looked after him. Did he really have the strength to stand by Namjoon like this? To expose himself to danger, to constantly look around for enemies? Did she have the desire to live such a life as Kim Namjoon's woman?

Yes, she wanted to, at least she wanted to try, would she regret it, possibly, could she get her hands dirty like Yoongi had told her, she had no idea. But were Namjoon and Izeul worth the effort and trying? Definitely yes!

"Yoongi!" she ran after him and he stopped, turning around. "What?" she slipped and he grabbed her shoulders, holding her back. Ari grinned, thanking him. "Teach me!" she said breathlessly and he raised an eyebrow. "Teach me everything I need to know?" she asked and he laughed.

"Welcome to Bangtan, Hyun Ari!" he hugged her tightly and she returned the hug. "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked and she nodded. "At least I want to try" Ari replied confidently and Yoongi smiled widely.

"Then go to your man and ask him for help. He is the best among us" she giggled and nodded. Supporting her with a hand on her waist, the two walked back into the house.

“He's in his office” Yoongi nudged her there once they were inside. Arie smiled back at him in thanks and then, her back straight and her head held high, she walked towards Namjoon's office.

"Hey" she poked her head through the door. Namjoon looked up, looking tired and haggard, kind of sad. "Hey" he smiled slightly and she walked in, closing the door and leaning against it.

"Yoongi said that among them you are the best" Ari said quietly and he looked at her questioningly. "The best at what?" he asked, turning his chair to face her.

She shrugged and walked over to his desk, running her fingers along the edge of it, pushing open a few documents, glancing at them. Namjoon watched her carefully, but he couldn't read her expression.

They weren't alone any time soon. Namjoon was tense waiting for her decision, he missed her even though they were under the same roof and to avoid thinking about her he was lost in his work, distracting himself. Unfortunately, that didn't help him much. The fear that she would reject him gripped his throat, and her blank expression at the moment only heightened his fears.

In the past few days, Namjoon had realized the need he had developed for Ari, it wasn't just an obsession with possessing her, she had gotten under his skin, into his mind, into his heart and he desperately wanted to hold her.

"What am I best at, baby?" he asked again and she looked at him, lips pursed, an unreadable look. His heart stopped, she had come to tell him she wanted nothing to do with him.

"Yoongi said…" she paused, then smirked. "That if I want to learn to defend myself, I have to turn to my man because he's the best of them all" Ari finished with a grin and a wink.

Namjoon tensed and locked eyes with her. "Does that mean you want to…" Namjoon asked nervously and Ari nodded with a smile. "Yes, whatever it means to be yours, I want it and I will try!" Ari replied happily and Namjoon almost flew out of his chair.

She laughed and he almost knocked her over, giving her a hug. "My God! You almost killed me, baby!" Namjoon whispered into her neck and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I know it's going to be hard and I'll probably have to act like a real bitch right there next to you, but it doesn't matter, I'll take it, I'll learn" he cupped her face and kissed her so hard it left her breathless.

"You can be whatever you want, baby, bitch, angel, devil, it doesn't matter. You are mine and they have to respect you if they want to live!" he growled and kissed her again. "You would kill for me?" she asked between their kisses. "Of course!" Namjoon replied, saving her that he'd already done it once, making Hwan pay for everything he'd done to her.