I told myself if you leave I'll let it go. I'll move on. I will stop thinking about you and that night and I'll be fine. I was so sure you'd stay but you didn't. You left. I sat outside for the rest of the night with tears in my eyes, blood on my arms, a bottle of whiskey standing beside me and a cigarette burning in between my fingers. If I smoked every time I thought of you, I'd be dead within a day. I don't understand why this is so hard for me to be honest. I feel like I'm holding on to it because it's all I have left. I literally have nothing and when you have nothing you have everything to fight for. I just want to be a little happier and little quicker and little easier. I can't stand this anymore.
