Sinematic(Devin Sola)

11

I lay in Chris's bunk trying to sleep but can't. They keep talking about me and I can hear it. It's hard to sleep when you hear your name every other minute or so. I can roughly make out what they're saying, they're talking low so I can't hear exactly what it is they're saying.

"Why did you?" I hear. I get confused at this point in slide out of the bunk, pressing my ear to the door that is closed from the front room and the bunk room.

"Because she seemed like she didn't know what to do. I wanted her to feel better, she's one of those people that breaks your heart when they're sad." Another boy says.

"I know that feeling." This person is Josh.

"I feel like shit." Chris's voice pipes in.

"Why?" Devin?

"Because we fucked. It probably gave her weird feelings. She said she didn't want to go down that path and I basically took advantage of that." I bite my lip at what Chris says.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, talk to her about it. You're going to make her feel like shit and yourself feel like shit if you just dwell on it." Angelo's smart advice buds in.

"Well what if she chooses not to stay? What if she leaves and then I'm confused. She hasn't talked to me since that interaction, I don't have anything to keep in contact with her." Chris replies to Angelo.

"Well you can't beat around the bush, Chris. You of all people know talking is one of the best solutions. If she does leave make sure you talk to her before she does. Or else she's going to hate herself and you're going to be miserable." Angelo replies making me nod and probably Chris nod too.

I decide to stop eavesdrop and stand opening the door. The five pairs of eyes that are on the couches and chairs turn towards me. I give one of those awkward smiles and walk out sitting by Josh, which is the only empty seat out of every seat on this bus.

"Couldn't sleep?" Ange asks me.

"Nope, I kept hearing whispering and my name. I just gave up on trying." I say with a nod.

"If you need headphones I have one pair you could borrow." Ryan says across from me.

"I'll take you up on that offer in a bit." I smile lightly at one of the new boys.

"So, Chris, I think we need to talk." I say.

"Yeah, do you want to go get a cup of coffee somewhere?" He asks me.

"That sounds nice." I reply.

"Alright, let me put some shoes on, do you need shoes?" He asks me.

"I have mine but they're back there." I say causing him to nod.

***

I grab the coffee the lady hands to me and let the warmth evade my hands. Its sort of the middle of winter so it's a bit chilly. Chris leads me too a little couch and we both sit. My legs wrap under my body as I curl into a ball. I watch Chris take a sip of his steaming coffee, not even a flinch from him.

"How is it?" I ask him.

"As good as it always is." He smiles lightly looking at the cup still, a small bit of steam sliding out.

"That's good." I nod and look down at mine.

"So, how are you feeling?" He asks me, the small talk evident.

"Tired, afraid, curious, a lot honestly." I reply looking back at him.

"What are you curious about?" He asks looking back at me, curious himself.

"What would happen if I stayed. How I'd feel, what I'd do." I say causing him to nod.

"I see." I nod in reply to his words.

"I'm curious too." He says causing me to nod again.
It's so awkward right now and I have no idea why.

"So," I say hopeing he'll start talking.

"So, do you know if you want to stay?" He asks.

"You suck at talking." I say causing him to chuckle.

"I'm nervous, I can't help that." He shrugs.

"We can start off by saying how we feel I guess." He nods.

"Alright. I want you too stay so we can see if that fire is still there. I have no idea if you want to stay but I want you too. I feel bad for taking advantage of you last night but it was amazing nonetheless. There's something about having feelings for someone and having sex then when you don't have a connection." He says looking down at his coffee.

"I agree, I feel bad for doing it but it's good when you have that emotional connection. I'm just afraid that's all you want from me. I mean I know I let it happen but that's because I was confused. I don't regret it completely I just wish we could have waited if we were going to do it." I say my honest feelings.

"I'm sorry." He says closing his eyes.

"Its okay, I just, we know now. I think I will stay, because I still have so much feelings for you, even if it kills me, I want to stay." I whisper.

"Good." He says simply taking a drink of his coffee.

"So how about this weather?" Chris says causing me to snort a bit and roll my eyes.

"If you look to the right we have a wild smartass." I say in a goofy tone causing him to bat his eyelashes like girls do ,but in a sarcaastic way.