Sinematic(Devin Sola)

17

There's an awkward silence as Angelo, Devin, Ricky, and I sit in a small out of shape circle. We've been sitting here for about ten minutes, not saying anything. I'm surprised nobody has noticed any of the boys and tried talking to them. We're behind their tent but still, you can still see behind it.

I'm not sure what anyone is even thinking, not sure what they're going to say. I haven't done much thinking on the situation either, I mean I've been more embarrassed by the fact that they're just sitting there in their own minds then talking aloud.

"So like, are you and Chris fighting or something?" Angelo pipes up after the silence of the conversation.

"No."I simply reply not wanting to talk about this in front of Ricky or Devin.

"Then why?" He asks me causing me to stand up and walk away.

I can't do conversations like that, in front of more than one person. It trips me out and makes me so uncomfortable it's unbelievable. Maybe I'm a piece of shit for walking away but unless they wanted me to start crying it's the best solution.

I walk along a pathway to who knows where.

"Alex." I hear sternly behind me causing me to wip around and to be faced with Angelo. I knew he was going to follow me.

"Yes." I reply kind of using an attitude.

"Answer the question I asked you before you rudely walked off." He says as I continue to walk, him beside me now.

"Why, why did you see me kissing Devin or why what?" I ask.

"Why did I see you not just kissing Devin but it's like you were holding onto him for dear life." He says actually sounding worried now.

"Well, the other night on the bus Devin and I had a ice cream like war and then ended up somehow kissing. I didn't know he had feelings for me, and if I had known he did I wouldn't have said yes to Chris asking me to be his girlfriend." I say finally able to say what's been on my chest. I haven't gotten to talk to anyone about this because Asher and my mom would freak out and want me home instantly and it's not like I could tell his best friends.

"Do you like him?" He asks me.

"Who Devin?" I ask which causes him to nod.

"Yeah, a lot." I say causing my stomach to turn a bit just because I told Chris's best friend I don't like Chris anymore. He sighs a bit and nods, I sit down in a grassy area that we're at now. I'm surprised there's grass, it's so dry here.

"Well, I can only say that you need to tell Chris before someone else does because if he finds out from someone else he's going to be pissed." Ange says.

"I know, I just don't want to hurt him. I love him, but not in a more than a friend and in the past love." I say looking down, embarrassed of my words.

"It's going to hurt him worse the longer you drag it on. You're going to have to hurt him. You just told me yourself that you don't love him than more than a friend. You can't change how you feel."

"You're right I'm just so afraid to do it, what if he kicks Devin out of the band because of me?" I ask looking at Angelo.

"Chris has a bad temper, but he wont kick Devin out. They might have a hard time talking for a while but Chris loves him enough that he won't be out of the band over you." Angelo says causing me to nod.

"Alright, I don't want him to hate me." I kind of get quiet at the end of the sentence.

"Well, all I can say is that no matter what happens none of us will hate you, maybe Chris but we will still love you, Josh and I. Ryan and Ricky don't know you well enough or I'd say they'd love you but." Ange starts rambling sorta.

"I wish I would have never went on this tour." I dry laugh a bit.

"Don't say that. It's just something that had to happen. You two would have eventually saw each other and you'd eventually have met Devin." he says.

"Yeah but maybe if it was in the future I would've been with someone so Chris and I wouldn't have done anything and then I would've never gotten so close to Devin." I say.

"You never know, hun. There's so many things that could have happened." I sigh knowing he's right.

"Alright, I'm going to go talk to Chris." I say shaking my head a bit with my eyes closed.

"Just whatever he does know he's going to be filled with rage, don't take anything personal." Angelo says as i stand up.

"You know I will." I say as I walk away.

"I love you!" He shouts at me.

"I love you too." I reply to him giving him a small wave.

My walk back to the buses is silent as I think of what I'm going to say. He's going to be so angry at me, I don't know what I'm going to do if he yells. Why am I such a pussy and why did I have to go on this stupid tour. Sure, Devin is wonderful but everyone is going to be affected by this and I just ruin everything. Fucking things up since 1987. I sigh and see the bus kind of in the distance, however I do hear yelling that sounds like it's Chris. This causes me to almost stop in my tracks.

He knows, oh god he knows.

I feel the blood rush out of my face as the thought of someone telling him. Who told him though? Devin? Ricky?

I walk a little quicker to the bus knowing that I just need to get this done with or I will have so much anxiety I wont be able to talk. I'm finally beside the bus, my stomach rising with anxiety, my throat feeling like it's being gripped by very strong men. I lift my hand to the door, my hand shaking incredibly as I open it. I push myself up the steps the bus going silent from the loud noise it was producing before the door opened. I step up the final step before I see Chris and Ricky. Ricky looks almost terrified as Chris's face is filled with fury, his eyes dark, and his mouth pressed into a line.

Chris looks over at me, the hate in his eyes evident. Oh god what did I get myself into.