There...

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There in my room...

the only place 

I feel somewhat safe

In a featle position,

Rocking and crying

I don't know 

what to do...

I won't murder him...

I'm not a killer...

especially my own child

I just won't do it...

There in this room,

on a bed,

I don't recongnize

I look at a picture

on the nightstand,

blurry,

tears in my eyes,

my family,

now asleep...

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