Her Pacifier: Secrets From The Past

Chapter 6

"Huh?" I ask, amused.

"In your hallucinations!" They hoarsely chorus again, bothered I'm taking this lightly.

I burst into thundering laughter. "Don't be silly!"

They saunter back to their previous positions and once they've maintained their postures, they look at one another. Worried.

"You think this is funny?" Douglass asks me.

I nod, still laughing.

"Then you're next in line," Drae replies.

When my laughter abruptly ends, my mind slowly takes in what they're informing me with every syllable. My slow thinking cranium repeats what they've whispered under their breaths till I've memorised it like a haunting song. Recalling the moments I shared with her in the cafeteria, I feel my smile turn upside down to a deep frown and the colour drains from my face.

I remember everything, including how I felt and how I made her feel during detention.

When we exchanged looks and I forcefully felt her silky hair.

When I claimed her thigh mine and electricity traveled within my veins.

Then, when her green irises sparked purple and she shied away to hide them from me, I felt electrified...

"I'm not sure if I understand what you're all saying," I begin, gulping. "But to be clear, you lot mean she can kill anybody emotionally if they get infatuated with her?"

Drae and his friends shake their heads, muted. By the appeal of their tensed muscles and folds on their foreheads, surely this is a serious matter I'm unknown and naïve to.

"Physically?" I ask, ignoring the truth my subconscious is screaming in my head.
To be totally honest, I must admit that was a dumb question to utter.

"No, you dumbass," Drae insults, frustrated. I freeze at that.
"In your hallucinations. As in...in your living dreams. Things you know aren't supposed to be seen or are beyond seeing but you can see them-"

"I know what hallucinations are. I'm not that dumb," I interject his ramble harshly.

Besides my rudeness, he continues;
"You see her in them, ending your life..."
He pauses to press his thumb and middle finger together, "...and just- like- that-" his brown fingers snap, "-you die."

Jeez. My entire body shivers.

That must be one of the most painful ways to die. To be murdered in your hallucinations by the person you fancy or love. To watch your life end before your own eyes and perhaps, suffer at visioning that person who owns your heart, smirk as they bring your road to death near.

I've walked on that road before, once in my anguished, pitiful life, to a beautiful dark bridge that led to two different, separated worlds; separated by an invisible banner.

The real world.

And the spirit world. 

As close as I got to my destination of excruciating dark abysses, absolute quietness and inevitable horror, I never reached the spirit world, no matter how hard I tried or how many pills, amounts of caffeine or glasses of liquor I consumed.
I awoke in a hospital bed from a dream. Frail, drained and internally wounded from the paracetamol pills I overdosed with caffeine but mostly wounded that I cheated my own death.

You see, death is beautiful, peaceful and numb but not the kind destined by the person you love and whom you thought loved you back in return. That kind of death evokes extreme suffering and agony. But then again, what Drae and his mentally disturbed friends are informing me are false and are only true in mafia fantasy movies.