Her Pacifier: Secrets From The Past

Chapter 35

Passion's kiss gentles before she breaks away from it. She gives me a soft expression that assures me she doesn't mind the taste of my blood on her tongue.
I carefully place her down and turn to the warm setting sun, glistening the brown fields. The wind blows the overgrown wheat and dusk captures us in an unbreakable trance.
We are somewhere far away, far and deep into the fields. Sunflowers and blooming vygies bow and part paths for us to pass through. Like guards or maidens, servants even, bowing for their leaders. Swaying lightly with the breeze that returned the absented blush colour to my cheeks, but keeping its composure. Bowing, for its guests in its mysterious, welcoming lair.
The skies are clear and peaceful, the overgrown wheats are gentle against our fingertips, the sunflowers' whispers are hypnotizing.
We're surrounded by a peaceful mother nature's hostility.

"Which part of my body did you teleport us to this time?" I teasingly ask Passion staring at the orange sun.

No reply.

I glance to her enlightened face watching the sun drop below the horizon. Her eyelids are closed, her lips are pulled into an appealing grin I rarely see. A grin that show offs her dimples and her straight, white teeth. A grin that warms my heart more than the sun or a flame ever could.
"Of course," I smile. "My mind."

"Hmm..." her husky vocals hum. "How do you know that?"

"I once dreamed of this place," I reply. "Everything about this field reminds me of a dream," I walk in a circle as my head follows. Taking in more detail of our surrounding. The elevator is far behind, smashed on weeds and a path of opened vygies.
"A dream I once had about my mother."

"You have a peaceful mind, Jules," Passion's now looking at me. "It's warming and charming compared to mine."

"Don't speak too soon," I shake my head. "Something else happened in the dream."

"I think that's where we might be," Passion's eyes form into thin slits. "A dream you had about your mother." She turns back to the sun and closes her eyes. "You're always thinking of her."

I follow her gaze to the sun and close my eyes too. I nod even though she can't see me, and I her. "I am," I agree. "I always am. I'm always thinking if she's better off without us- my father, my brother's and I- in her own happiness. Perhaps in heaven." I caress the weeds tingling my fingertips. "But how can a mother be happy after taking her own life and deserting her family?"

"Jules, your mother isn't happy," Passion inhales and I feel her gaze on me. I keep my own to the sun. "You remember me informing that to you?" She asks.

"I do," I nod, "In the graveyard." I stifle a chuckle and shake my head. "On the 'Other Side'."

"She can never be happy without you," she softly says and I grit my teeth. "You were her favourite. Her twin."

I feel my mouth smile at the memory of my mom grooming me for middle school before our mirror in the hallway. Saying the same thing Passion's saying now.

"I think God realised I needed a twin too," she used to say, doing my tie. 
"Your dad can have two but I have one and that one is enough for me." Her voice was so gentle against my ears.
"You are enough for me, sweetheart."

"I was enough for her," I say, dwelled in the world of memoranda. "I was, but I'm not anymore." My smile disappears as quickly as it came. "She had a choice and so, she chose to leave her twin behind with the vultures. Vivienne doesn't care about me, she's disappointed in me. That's what she said after I drank all those pills. I was just doing what she did to numb myself from pain."

"I would say the same thing if my son tried to kill himself when I didn't," Passion says dryly and my eyes fly open. I turn to her and she shies away. "If I were her, I would have given you what you yearned for since she left; death. But I assume she let you live to dig up a truth that has been buried for so long."