What is love anymore?

Forgiveness, can you imagine.

No pov-

"Moonbeam?" Sirius' voice was weak and hoarse and seemed to take a lot of strength to say the simple word.

After a moment of hesitation, Remus walked back over to Sirius' bedside. He was scared of what might be said between them and everything that had already happened between them. He found himself not quite able to meet Sirius' eyes as he sat back down at his bedside.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. I caused all of this. I hurt you all over again." His voice was full of remorse.

"It's not your fault." Sirius managed to sputter before it turned into a coughing fit that shook his body from the strain to his throat and vocal cords.

Remus reacted quickly, helping Sirius into a sitting position on the hospital bed. He then handed him a glass of water to help alleviate the coughing. As Sirius drank Remus gently rubbed circles into the former's back.

"Please don't push yourself, Sirius. It's okay, you need rest. I'm not worth pushing yourself and causing more pain and issues." his voice was so soft only the two of them could hear and his eyes met the dull ones of Sirius. Remus didn't like the idea of causing Sirius pain.

As Sirius' coughing subsided his mind was trying to remember everything that had happened. While he was grateful for Remus saving him, a part of him was still angry at him. He also had a vague recollection of Remus apologising for everything that had happened while he was unconscious. Though he was unsure if it had been while he was hanging or laid in the hospital bed. He knew the other man was truthful in his apology but he wasn't sure about forgiving Remus just yet. He felt so conflicted and unsure what to say. So he just nodded instead.

The atmosphere between the pair quickly became awkward and slightly tense. James quickly shared a look with Lily and Regulus before walking over to join the pair on and around the hospital bed.

"That's enough awkwardness for today. You still need to rest Sirius. You need time to heal." His voice was both stern and concerned. He was worried deeply for Sirius more than anything.

Remus nodded and gave Sirius a sad but sincere smile before standing up. "If you're ever ready to talk, let me know." With that he quickly fled the room. He felt guilty but still hoped that Sirius would forgive him for all the wrongs he had done.

As soon as his steps had faded Sirius flopped back onto his pillows, having not realised just how tense he had really been. "I'm sorry and thanks."

"You're welcome. Now get some sleep. We'll still be here when you wake up mate." James smiled while taking the empty water glass from him.

Soon Sirius was asleep curled up in the hospital bed. While Lily stayed with Sirius, Regulus silently dragged James out of the room and a safe distance from the room not wanting to disturb Sirius. He knew exactly how light of a sleeper Sirius really was. He was internally kicking himself.

"Lupin wasn't lying. There was glass everywhere on the floor in Sirius' room, along with the chandelier frame and rope. How didn't I notice he was withdrawing?"

"None of us noticed Regulus. Not just you.none of us were there last time because he was with your parents. We never knew the warning signs to look out for. I'm not sure that even now what the signs were."

"I guess you're right but still." Regulus sighed trying to figure out what to do now. "How do we help him now?"

"We be there for him, help him however we can. Mum and dad would know exactly what to do and have the best advice." James admitted trying to remember his parents' reactions and suggestions of how to help especially after they learnt why it happened in the first place.

"What happened last time? Maybe it'll help this time?"

"Honestly? Remus was the biggest help for him. He was really out of it and withdrawn around the rest of us for a while unless Remus was there too. I don't understand it fully apart from the fact that they were in love."

"So we're screwed without Lupin. Good to know." Regulus deadpanned.

Not necessarily. But it will take longer. We'll have to wait and see honestly. Plus he could still forgive Remus if he wanted to." James told him, hoping he was right.

Over the next two weeks Sirius slept most of the time and avoided using his voice. If he wasn't asleep he was helping James, Lily and Regulus as they rarely let him be alone. He was thankful for their help but he found himself missing Remus more and more. Missed his support from when they were together.

Half way through the third week he reached out to Remus to talk, even if his voice was still damaged. There hadn't been much the healers could do to repair the damage, especially when it had re-inflamed the previous damage from his previous attempt. He had promised Lily, James and Regulus that he would be okay on his own and wouldn't push himself.

So there he sat in a private inn room at the leaky cauldron at the end of the third week since his attempt. He was waiting for Remus to arrive so they could get everything talked out and sorted. He missed Remus more than he was angry at him so that's what won out and ran his actions.

When Remus arrived right on time Sirius smiled, his time keeping hadn't changed.

"Hey." Sirius' voice was still hoarse but slightly stronger than it had been.

"Hey you wanted to talk?" Remus was nervous to say the least.

"Yeah. I heard your apology while I was unconscious and I wanted to let you know that I forgive you. I understand that you never wanted to be with 'Dora. I should have believed you.

"I don't blame you for your reaction, you didn't know the truth. I love you more than I could ever love anyone else." Remus could feel tears begin to prick at his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for being stupid. I need to stop believing people like Molly on these things. I've missed you." Sirius admitted.

Remus pulled him into a tight hug. "I've missed you too. Plus you were vulnerable after Azkaban not stupid. Molly took advantage of that and so did Moody and Dumbledore in their own ways. You are not stupid and you're forgiven.

Remus hugged back at this assurance and began to cry into Remus' shoulder though it soon became a sob as he realised just how right Remus was. Sirius's sobs set Remus off too. Holding Sirius also made him realise just how skinny Sirius was, he was as skinny as when he first escaped Azkaban.

"I love you" Remus whispered softly in his ear.

"I love you too" Sirius managed between sobs. He felt relief more than anything. He felt loved, truly loved. The comfort of Remus' embrace was immense.

Once they had both calmed down to the occasional sniffle they pulled apart. Remus smiled and used his jacket sleeve to dry Sirius' tears streaked cheeks.

"Thank you for forgiving me starlight. I don't plan on leaving you ever again. I plan on staying by your side." Remus smiled.

"I'll hold you to that one Moony. I'm gonna sound like a kid but can we cuddle for a bit? I need to know this is real and know you're really here and it'll all be okay."

"It's only a single bed in here so it'll be a tight fit. However it wouldn't be the smallest space we've ever cuddled in. it'll be okay Sirius."

The pair carefully climbed onto the bed and cuddled up together. They still fit as they always had.