afterglow ‣ s.jy

015

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JAKE

Jake's head was empty, with nothing to think about but the conversation he shared with Hyejin as they spoke about Siyeon and her parents. Even studying for the exam had been a struggle despite the many attempts of his friends to pull him out from whatever abyss he had allowed to engulf him.

Only realizing he had once again drifted off, he stared at the notebook on his desk which was scribbled with lines and doodles which his hand unconsciously drew while his consciousness was elsewhere. Niki, who was sitting next to him, woke him up by clapping both of his hands loudly next to Jake's ear, not only getting his attention but everyone else who sat at the table. They were currently at the open part of their school where multiple tables sat, and the group of friends decided to occupy one so they could all struggle to study together.

"Ow!" Jake jumped because of the sudden loud noise traveling to his left ear. "What?" He glared at the younger who was audacious enough to give him an innocent smile.

"You keep looking at the tree over there and writing random things on your notebook. It seems you're lost in your head." Niki explained, pointing at the tree and his notebook. "I thought we were supposed to be studying."

"You're one to speak, you keep dozing off every time you turn your page," Sunoo interjects without ripping his gaze away from the textbook on the table.

Niki pouts when a snort escaped from everyone's lips, even crossing his arms as a means to emphasize his frustration yet none took him seriously and instead brought their attention to Jake, who was under the impression that the spotlight was no longer on him. Dozens of questions asking him if he was okay followed their curious and worried gazes, and dozen times did he answer he was alright and that Niki was exaggerating.

Jake couldn't possibly tell them what he heard about Siyeon, who he hasn't talked to her for days, and much to his relief (and disappointment), the girl didn't seem to be bothered by it. The memory of their conversation in his kitchen resurfaced, and he could still remember clearly what she said.

"If you figure it out... you'll wish you never did."

Was this the secret Siyeon meant? Was she trying to hide all along that she had a heart illness? Should he even tell her he knows?

As he imagined what that image would look like, all he could see was the change of treatment that he was going to receive from her. Now that he knew at least one of her secrets, the blossoming friendship or rather connection they had created for months would dissipate in a second. And for some unknown reason, that bit of information scared him because he was already barely getting anything from her, what more if she suddenly changes?

Again, he found himself stuck in a dilemma between confronting her or feigning ignorance. Yet despite the answer being clear as day, a part of him wanted to talk about it, wanted to ask more but it came with the risk of losing what they struggled to build. And there was feigning ignorance, pretending to act ordinary as if he knew nothing and treating her the same way he always does. Even while imagining it, he could feel how difficult it was to do it.

"If you figure it out... you'll wish you never did."

Once more, Jake was pulled back from his trance when another clap could be heard from his left ear that was very close to being deaf because of how many times his friend had clapped inches away from it. Staring at the culprit, or the owner of the two hands that still sat a few centimeters from his ear, a hostile glare crept its way to his face.

"What do you want?" Jake groaned.

Instead of answering as any ordinary person would, Niki chose to point at the notebook where he was initially doodling. In the middle of the paper was Siyeon's name written. Jake's eyes widened, immediately turning the notebook on its back to hide her name but the younger already saw it, and soon enough, he was laughing... loudly.