𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈 ➸ 𝐓𝐚𝐞𝐆𝐲𝐮

24. Breaking-point

Ikigai,

It was when Taehyun was four that he found that this word existed. He was on a trip to Japan and his mom took him to a fortune-teller, who handed him a cloth, a white piece of cloth with the word Ikigai written on it with ink. Little Taehyun accepted it but never bothered to know the meaning behind it.

Until now.

He tried searching it up and it simply said,

Ikigai is a purpose to exist.

Now, the boy wanted to know what his purpose to exist is. But he doesn't know if it is too late, cause Taehyun is standing in front of the office, the documents in his grip and he knew he was about to go in and drop out of Hanlim.

"Kang Taehyun, come in."

"Good morning, Mr. Park."

"Sit down, Taehyun." The headmaster thoroughly read the documents, and disappointedly nodded, taking his pen to sign them as it was Taehyun's wish.

"It's a great loss to our school, Taehyun. you are a smart kid and an amazing basketball player, in fact, although the principal shouldn't be telling you this, I know that you and Beomgyu are together. Why leave all of this behind, may I ask?"

"Uhm, Hyung and I broke up, and... I just wanna go back to Busan, I have my school there and i think that's convenient for me, life in Seoul was nice, Mr. park, and there are so many things that are hard to leave behind, but I've been taught to never be a burden to anyone near me, I'm doing this for me."

"Alright, I wish you all the very best, I shall sign them."

***

"It's like I don't have the purpose to live anymore, I'm sick of it," Beomgyu mumbles, sipping on his coke as he ranted and ranted for a couple of hours.

"Beomgyu, the purpose of your existence is running away, what the actual fuck are you doing here, sitting like an ugly potato?" It was Beomgyu asking himself, In his room, it was just him and himself, Beomgyu spent hours talking to his angel and devil on his shoulders, not knowing what to do. He got down from the bed and opened one of his old drawers, the drawer Taehyun had used to put his clothes.

"Should I just start to get rid of you, huh?" He picks up Taehyun's T-shirt from the drawer, the younger had left some of his clothes, and Beomgyu doesn't know if he did so just to make Beomgyu simp over him forever.

"You brat, how dare you leave hyung like that!" He yells at it, pouting his lips, Beomgyu isn't tipsy, he is just going crazy. "No more cuddling, no more leaving for basketball practices together, no more making out in the changing room, no more nothing! isn't that what you wanted, Kang Taehyun?!" He groans, gripping his raven locks, and shoves the shirt back in, only to feel something firm inside the drawer. 

He pulls whatever that is out, without hesitating, it was a wooden box, that looked like some ancient shit from china or japan, it smelled like wood, and had some patterns carved on it, Beomgyu opened it with high expectations but all of that to find a white piece of cloth.

"Aish, what the fuck..." He groaned and aimed the box into the dustbin but curiosity happened to be killing the bear, so he took it and opened it again, reading the letter in the paper.

Yes, yes, Beomgyu knows japenes.

"What the fuck is Ikigai?"

he pouted once again, turned the box in his hand, and searched for a better explanation, but found nothing. 

"It has to mean something..." And the boy remembered Yeonjun, he texted Yeonjun,

'Hyung ask grandma what ikigai is, hurry'

and the latter had texted back with about ten messages which Beomgyu wasn't bothering to read, but he found his answer.

'She says its the purpose to exist or sumn'

"Oh... Is this Taehyun's?" He asks himself and obviously, it's a yes. He doesn't know what to do with it though, he placed it on his nightstand and went back to bed.

Once he closed his eyes, he suddenly remembered how Taehyun met him for the first time, in the court, so pretty and handsome, standing tall, with a perfect body with the perfect smile. He recalls their first practice, Beomgyu remembers how strict he was with Taehyun, he remembers the first time Taehyun ever hugged him, the time when they took dinner together and how he randomly showed up at Taehyun's.

Lord, Beomgyu is really losing Taehyun.

"No,"

"W-w-why am sitting in here. Beomgyu, he is your boyfriend, You love him! Why let him go like this?" The angel on his shoulder exclaims and he sits up this time, the realization of Kang Taehyun leaving him hitting him like a big ass truck.

"What do I do? how do I stop him?" He ponders for another while and coincidently, his eyes land on Taehyun's small box.

"T-that's it! The purpose to exist.. My purpose to exist is him... he deserves to know!" The boy ain't sure of Taehyun changing his decision but at least, Taehyun will know he matters.

***

It was around six o'clock in the evening, Taehyun was taking a small walk around the school because he won't be seeing it for the next years of his life, Taehyun doesn't know what gut came up for him to drop out of Hanlm but here he is, sitting in the cafeteria for the last time, alone, with a few dimmed lights giving him light.

Fuck, he's gonna miss this so much!

But he is too late.

He gets up and with his hands buried in the depths of his pockets, he slowly walks through the hallways, recalling the memories of him and Kai snacking in a corner, or Yeonjun stopping by the washrooms just to do a fit check, Then Soobin who always disappeared to buy bread from the canteen, Jeongin, and Hyunjin who always used to quarrel near where his lockers were,

Beomgyu who appeared out of nowhere just to trap him in a corner to shower him with kisses.

The boy sighed, his fingers tracing on the locker, music blasting in his ears through his AirPods.

it played an OS by txt, 'Love sight' Author recommends you to listen to it while reading, heh.

He hums to the melody, shutting his eyes to contain the tears that came with the thought f his Beomgyu. He wants him so bad that he wants to cry so hard, but he doesn't wanna be weak, crying over someone who he broke up with, he'd feel pathetic as fuck.

He opens his locker after reaching the corner of the hallway, right next to the basketball court where he spends most of his school days in, He opens it and finds notes that Bemgyu wrote him.

the transition of them, though. the first one said, 

'Where were you? meet me. lunchtime, cafeteria.' He faintly smiled, recalling how Kai teased him saying it was a love note.

'Bamgyu wants to see his kitten, would you meet me near that big ass tree of yours?'

'Im gon spend the night at yur place, oki?'

'I love u taehyun, sorry i cldnt make u breakfast tdy :('

and there were more that Taehyun felt like he shouldn't show to the author because they were rather personal, in midst of Taehyun's mental breakdown, he heard a thump.

Startled, he peeked to see a light kinda thing from inside the court. Holy shit, is he gonna die?

But then, He's a cat, curiosity kills him too. Taehyun walked to the door of the court and twisted the knob, slowly opened it, suddenly being welcomed by--

"HOLY FUCK!!"

Finally made up my mind to finish this, one more chap to go, im sry again if i disappointed yal wit dis :(