SPOILERS FOR SDRA2!!!!
SOME IMPLIED NSFW!!!!
NOW LET'S GET STARTED
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Emma: Good morning
Nikei: Good morning
Iroha: Good morning
Mikado: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit
Hajime: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!
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Iroha: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Emma: Take them!
Hajime: Punch them in the neck!
Mikado: Say thank you!
Nikei: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Iroha: ...
No
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Mikado: Poison is a magic transmutation that turns people into corpses
Hajime: This knife is actually a magic wand
Emma: Meet me in the Dennys parking lot for a wizard duel
Nikei: *cocks gun* Magic missile
Iroha: What the fuck is wrong with you people
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Emma: Why aren't their friend pick-up lines? Pick-up lines to make friends like-
*to Iroha* Hey, that's a cute outfit you know where it would look better on? On nobody else, because you're a beautiful individual
Nikei: *to Mikado* Be my friend or I'll set your entire family on fire
Hajime: Their are two types of people
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Mikado: You know what I learned from my friendship with Iroha?
Emma: There's no such thing as too mean?
Hajime: Never let your friends know for sure that you like them?
Nikei: Always hold a grudge?
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Nikei: Anyone d-
Emma: Depressed?
Mikado: Drained?
Iroha: Dumb?
Hajime: Disliked?
Nikei: -done with your work...what is wrong with you people...
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Hajime: How do you connect with a fictional character?
Emma: What?
Mikado: What?
Nikei: What?
Iroha: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked
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Iroha: You're a loose cannon, Mikado
Mikado: No I'm not I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you would think of me?
Hajime: I think you play by your own rules
Emma: No way, they think rules were made to be broken
Iroha: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon
Mikado: No, I'm just a reckless renegade Nikei is a loose cannon
Nikei: *smashes a chair* Aah! You shut your trap, Mikado!
Emma: I'd say Nikei is more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose that's an entirely different thing
Hajime: Now I'm just confused is Mikado a loose cannon or not?
Iroha: All right, put on a pot of coffee we're gonna get to the bottom of this
Mikado: *groans*
Nikei: Aw, man
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Void: *walking at the mall*
Hajime: Hey, have any of you guys seen Nikei? He's been gone for a while
Iroha: Eh, nope
Emma: No I haven't...
Mikado: Probably ran off to McDonald's or something
Nikei: Hey
Hajime: Ooh, there you are-
Iroha: What the fu-
Mikado: I- where were you!?
Nikei: Walking right behind you guys
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Nikei: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went...OK
Iroha: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG
Nikei: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO
Emma: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins
Mikado: Looks like someone's a HO
Iroha: NaBro
Hajime: I'm done with all of you!
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*Voids thoughts on stabbing*
Iroha: Would never stab anyone
Hajime: Would stab someone in retaliation
Mikado: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first
Nikei: Would stab without warning
Emma: Would stab as a warning
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Hajime: Are we really going to let Nikei keep Emma?
Mikado: We kept Iroha
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Mikado: What's something you're better than Hajime at?
Iroha: Mario cart
Emma: Yeah, video games
Nikei: Emotional vulnerability
(I strive for Hajime angst)
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Hajime: Guys, I've been meaning to tell you... Nikei and I are dating
Nikei, Mikado, Iroha, Emma: *gasp*
Hajime: Nikei, why are you surprised!?
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Emma: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision how drunk would you be?
Hajime: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Iroha: Drunk
Mikado: Wasted
Nikei: Dead
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Nikei: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Emma will and will not eat
Iroha: Grass? Yes!
Nikei: Moss? Yes!!
Iroha: Leaves? Ohh, yes!
Nikei: Shoelaces? Strange but true!
Iroha: Worms? Sometimes!
Nikei: Rocks? Usually nah
Iroha: Twigs? Usually!
Nikei: Hajime's cooking? Inconclusive!
Mikado: How did you... test this?
Nikei: You just hand her stuff and say 'eat this' and if she eats it, she eats it
Mikado: ... I don't know how to feel about this
Hajime: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT!?
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Emma: What's the scariest horror movie you ever watched?
Nikei: IT
Hajime: Annabelle
Mikado: Paranormal activity
Iroha: High School Musical all throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words
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Hajime: We need more help maybe I should call my friends
Nikei: ... Your what?
Hajime: My friends
Iroha: Is he saying "friends"?
Emma: No I think he's being sarcastic
Mikado: No, no, no, this is delirium, he cracked from being awake all night hey Hajime! All your friends are in this room
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Hajime: Where's Iroha, Mikado, and Nikei?
Emma: They're playing hide and seek
Hajime: Where?
Emma: I don't think you get how this game works
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Emma: Look guys, I need help
Iroha: Love help?
Hajime: Financial help?
Nikei: Emotional help?
Mikado: Help moving a body?
:*Everyone looks at Mikado*
Mikado: What?
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Mikado: You're just jealous of me all my friends tell me I remind them of Emma
Void: *screaming*
Hajime: They look like Emma? Are you out of your fucking MIND?
Iroha: Emma, sweetie, I'm SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that, oh my God
Hajime: Emma? Emma? Emma? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like Nikei!
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Mikado: How would you like your pancakes?
Emma: Plain
Hajime: With sprinkles...
Nikei: Chocolate chips
Iroha: Potatoes
:*Emma, Hajime, and Nikei look at Iroha*
Iroha: What? They're good
(CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES ARE THE BESST 🍫🥞)
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Mikado: Time for plan G
Emma: Don't you mean plan B?
Mikado: No, we tried plan B a long time ago I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties
Iroha: What about plan D?
Mikado: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago
Nikei: What about plan E?
Mikado: I'm hoping not to use it, Hajime dies in plan E
Hajime: I like plan E
:*Void looks at him with concerned looks*
Hajime: What?
(The incorrect quote actually stops when Hajime says "I like plan E" I just wanted to add that little part at the end but can this be considered Hajime angst? Or just suicidal Hajime idk it's one in the morning)
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*the Void is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Iroha: You're acting pretty carefree for someone who's life is at stake who's to say you aren't the killer?
Hajime: It's a murder, not a tax audit I'll be fine
Mikado: What about Emma? Nobody ever suspects Emma!
Emma: Well what about Nikei? He has a gun!
Nikei: Iroha has a knife
Iroha: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Mikado in the arm*
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Iroha: So don't panic but one of is possessed by an owl
Mikado: .......
Emma: ........
Nikei: .........
Hajime: ..Who?
Iroha: That's the thing we don't-
:*everyone stares at Hajime*
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Hajime: You three, explain right now!
Iroha: It was Nikei
Mikado: It was Nikei
Emma: It was Nikei
Nikei: ...fuck
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Emma: Okay! Let's play Kiss Marry Kill!
First who would you kill?
: *Iroha points at Mikado*
*Nikei points at Mikado*
*Hajime points at Mikado*
Mikado: *shrugs* I would kill me too
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Nikei: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to?
Hajime: Shrödinger's boys
Mikado: FUCK!
Emma: What about cracking open a cold milkshake?
Iroha: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard the presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities milkshakes, however, do all else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard while it is possible to announce the presence of a cold one in the hopes of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison
Nikei: ...
Hajime: ...
Mikado: ...
Emma: ...
Iroha: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town
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Nikei: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Iroha: 'Prettiest Smile'
Hajime: 'Nicest Personality'
Emma: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Mikado: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
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Mikado: Nikei is a strings kid we must sacrifice them to the band gods
Emma: Yes
Hajime: You're right it'd be a good initiation for me
Nikei: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed-
Emma: What truce?
Mikado: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all choir kids and leave the strings alone
Iroha: Wait, I'm a choir kid!
Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*
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Hajime: *visits the squad* Hello, I just came to-
*sees Mikado shoving Nikei into a washing machine while Emma records and Iroha watches*
*retreating* Something suddenly came up
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Iroha: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange
Nikei: Which came first, the orange or the orange?
Hajime: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color til 1000 years ago
Emma: What was the color called beforehand?
Mikado: Their was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!
(Orange doesn't feel like a word anymore)
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Hajime: Plants have feelings too!? What is this? Now I can't have food!
Mikado: You can eat a rock
Iroha: Air
Nikei: The fabric of time and space
Emma: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems
Hajime: You guys are not helpful
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Emma: Why isn't the statue smirking at me?
Nikei: It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it
Iroha: Three of us saw it, Nikei how do you explain that?
Nikei: *points at Hajime* Sleep deprivation *points at Iroha* Paranoia *points at Mikado* Delusional Personality Disorder
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Iroha: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do
Emma: I'm gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don't know what I'm doing with my life
Nikei: I'm with you their...
Mikado: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life
Hajime: Three types of people
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Hajime: Guys...the principal just called-
Emma: It was Iroha!
Iroha: It was Nikei!
Nikei: It was Mikado!
Mikado: It was me!
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Emma: Let's mess with Mikado, guys!
Hajime: Hey, Mikado, your momma so fat-
Mikado: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison
Iroha: Well, uh- your dad-
Mikado: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequently sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets
Hajime: The fuck-
Nikei: Well then...
Emma: Stop, Nikei!
Nikei: Your grandparents so-
Mikado: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted
You cannot best me, mortals
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Nikei: Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Hajime: It was Mikado
Emma: It was Mikado
Iroha: Mikado broke it
Mikado:
...yOU PROMISED-
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Nikei: I've done a lot of dumb stuff
Iroha: I witnessed the dumb stuff
Emma: I recorded the dumb stuff
Mikado: I joined you in the dumb stuff
Hajime: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!
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Mikado: Hajime is late again
Iroha: How did this happen? I called them at 8 o' clock and pretended it was 11
Emma: I printed up a fake schedule for them saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon
Nikei: I set his clock into saying PM when it's really AM
Mikado: Oh boy we really have overdone it
: *Hajime bursts through the door*
Hajime: WHAT TIME IS IT?
Mikado: MY DOOR!
(I added the little 'MY DOOR!' at the end)
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Emma: What's the worst thing you guys have done?
Nikei: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade
Hajime: I kicked Iroha in the shin-
Iroha: -So I kicked Hajime between the legs
Mikado: I burned a town down
Emma: What!?
Iroha: What the hell is wrong with you!?!
Mikado: A lot of things
Hajime: No shit
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Mikado: You're a lying piece of shit!
Nikei: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Iroha: I'm leaving and I'm taking Emma with me!
Hajime, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today
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Hajime: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell
Iroha, Mikado, Nikei, and Emma: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
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Mikado: What makes you all smile?
Iroha: Family and friends
Emma: Snacks
Nikei: Victory and success
Hajime: Face muscles
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Hajime: Where's Nikei?
Emma: Doing stuff?
Hajime: I don't like the sound of that where's Iroha?
Emma: Trying to stop Nikei from doing the stuff
Hajime: And Mikado?
Emma: Trying to stop Iroha from stopping Nikei from doing the stuff
Hajime: I see and what are you doing here, Emma?
Emma: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping Mikado from stopping Iroha from stopping Nikei from doing the stuff
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Nikei: What does "take out" mean?
Hajime: Food
Iroha: Dating
Emma: Murder
Mikado: It can be all three if you're brave enough
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Nikei: Hajime's refusing to wear his glasses!
Hajime: Nikei, look, I wore the glasses for a day my eyes are much better now watch
*points to Mikado* Mikado
*points to Emma* Emma
*points to Iroha* Sasquatch
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Nikei: Isn't it weird that we can't ride any other animals except horses like if horses weren't a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn't ride any other animals like riding animals wouldn't really be a thing we should probably be more grateful to horses
Emma: Elephants
Nikei: Blocked
Mikado: Camels
Nikei: Extra blocked
Iroha: Donkeys
Nikei: Ultra blocked
Hajime: That dick
Nikei: ...Followed
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Emma: So anyways have all seen Nikei?
Iroha: I think they went in Hajime's room 'studying'
Mikado: Doubt that I heard groans in there
: *meanwhile in Hajime's room
Nikei and Hajime, fighting:
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Emma: What do you rainbows mean to you?
Mikado: Gay rights
Hajime: There's money
Nikei: The sign of God's promise to never destroy earth with a flood
Iroha: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops
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*Everyone is giving advice to Hajime*
Iroha: It's okay to ask for help
Emma: You're not a burden
Mikado: Murder is okay
Nikei: Your feelings matter
(Yes their is Hajime angst once again)
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Nikei: Uh, Mikado? Iroha is in the pool and I don't think she's waterproof
Mikado: What?
Emma: I think he meant, Iroha is drowning
Mikado: WHAT!?
*meanwhile*
Iroha: *is drowning*
Hajime: OH MY GOD, IROHA! KEEP SWIMMING!
Iroha: I can't swim, dumbass- *sinks*
Hajime: IROHA!
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Hajime: Ah, yes here we have a beautiful couple...
Emma: I really care about your feelings!
Iroha: I really care about YOUR feelings!
Hajime, turning his head: ...and then there's the disaster couple...
Nikei: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!
Mikado: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU DIDN'T INSIST ON FIGHTING SOMEONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT TOOK FOREVER!!!
And the fact that this is over 2000 words is just-
All quotes come from Perchance's incorrect quote generator
Do you want me to do a part 2 but with the survivors and with Scatterpatters incorrect quote generator? Comment below
I better publish this because my arm hurts
