Subconsciously

Saturday, April 17, 2013

Saturday, April 17, 2013

4:07pm

The dress wouldn't zip up all the way.

Fuck.

Adalia knew she should've gotten ready earlier than she decided to. Maybe sitting around and eating wasn't the best choice of activities right before prom.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Adalia wasn't one for make up, but Diana sure as hell was. Adalia could've sworn that Diana put on more than ten different shades of foundation. Or was it concealer? She didn't even know what she was talking about. Times like these she thought of how different Rose was from her replacement. Adalia's eyes blurred and she blinked. She told herself to stop grieving. Rose has been gone too long for this shit to continue.

"Adalia honey, suck it in." She sucked it in.

The zipper reached about halfway up. She was gaining more frustration by the minute. Adalia had the tendency to shed a few tears when frustrated. Instead, she clenched her fists and tried to breathe deeply. She couldn't in this dress, though.

"Fuck."

"Don't curse."

Adalia turned around to look Diana directly in the eye. "Fuck." Diana's chin lowered in disbelief. Adalia already regretted it.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit flustered and annoyed and he's supposed to be here at six, and last night we... had fun, and it was real fun. The type of fun where you are nervous about seeing them again."

Diana looked Adalia wearily and tore from her gaze to study the seventeen year old girl. "You didn't... you didn't sleep with the boy, right? Did you?"

Adalia thought about last night. Just the two of them in his car. Let's just say it how it is; his hand slid under her shirt a couple of times. Hand over bra, under shirt. She liked it.

"What? No! Of course not!" Diana sighed in relief.

"Do you plan on having sex with him tonight?" Diana asked the question so calmly, Adalia laughed a bit.

"No. Well, I don't know." Adalia turned to look at herself in her mirror. She couldn't see herself being so okay with Caden seeing her like that. So open and vulnerable. Then, that's what made it sweet. The thought of a private moment like that between the two made her cheeks turn pink and a smile form on her lips. "Maybe, Diana. I doubt it, but if it feels right, it's definitely happening."

Adalia didn't realize she just told her stepmother she might be losing her virginity a couple of hours later. But wait, we're not quite there yet.

"If it feels right, and you know you won't regret it, it's fine by me. Just don't get pregnant. We don't need that shit right now," Diana said. Adalia laughed with wide eyes. She never heard Diana cuss before. "Now, let's get that dress to fit you properly."

Saturday, April 17, 2013

6:48pm

When Caden picked her up, he lost his words. He even told Adalia she looked beautiful. He completely passed the test with Robert, Diana forced them to take some photos, and Adalia rolled her eyes. Right before they left, Diana pulled Adalia in for a hug, and whispered a few words of encouragement. Basically, she said, "get some."

They sat in Caden's car now. He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. The jolt of electricity felt unreal and reminded her of her previous discussion with Diana. She studied his features. She looked at his hair. She loved that he didn't do anything different to it for the occasion. Still curly, and bouncing, just how she liked it. His long, dark eye lashes left shadows on his eyelids. His eyebrows still perfectly arched. He looked nice in a tuxedo. When he glanced over at Adalia, their eyes met, and she knew exactly what she wanted.

Saturday, April 17, 2013

8:37pm

"Let's dance, Caden."

"I can't dance."

"Come on."

"Okay. Fine."

Adalia gripped his hand in hers and led them to the dance floor. Caden placed his hands on her hips, and Adalia lay her arms on his shoulders, her hands meeting just behind his neck. The song playing was one she couldn't name, but she didn't care. It was clearly a slow song, and that's all that mattered at the moment.

"Do you believe in love in high school?" Caden asked. Adalia looked into his dark orbs. He looked at her expectantly.

"Yes, I do." When he smiled, Adalia smiled back.

"I've had this giant crush on you since freshman year, and barely thought of the book report tactic," Caden told her. She looked up at him in relief.

"So, you can read?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, thank god." Caden chuckled. "But really, you've liked me that long?"

He nodded and continued. "Yeah. You never seemed to think of me like that, and I was giving up hope. Then, I went in the library a couple weeks ago, and saw you there, reading. Your hair was over your face, head down, so focused. I would say, you looked hot, but it's not like that. You looked amazing and beautiful, and from then on, I went to the library every day after school, because I knew you'd be there."

Something clicked. Just like it did in his car. Adalia wanted to jump on him and just have her way. Instead, she pulled him closer and connected their lips. It was passionate, loving, feverish, and just overall amazing. She never knew what it was like to be in love, but now, she knew she was there. If not, she was close.

When they pulled away, Caden rested his forehead against hers.

"I think I love you," she whispered.

"I know that I love you," he told her.

She was a goner. "Let's get out of here." She watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as his gaze shifted, and finally, him understanding the unsaid message.

"Oh man," he said.

Adalia intertwined her fingers with Caden's and ran outside. She was so excited, she ran into someone. She abruptly stopped, and looked up. It was him, and he had a date. Adalia just looked at him. He and his date were looking into each other's eyes happily. Adalia smiled. She looked away and at Caden. He blinked and a goofy grin broke out onto his face. Yeah, she loved him.

When they made it to his car, she threw herself at him. Technically, she pulled him down onto the backseat with her. They landed with an 'oof', and Caden looked at her apologetically. She just brushed it off and kissed him. He lay in between her legs and held himself up with his hands on each side of her head. His hand brushed her cheek, and she was just losing it.

She forced his tuxedo jacket off of him, and then unbuttoned his shirt. He reached for the zipper of her dress, and soon it was barely on her. The kissing never ended.

Saturday, April 17, 2013

10:47pm

It had happened.

Saturday, April 17, 2013

11:58pm

She loved him.