The Grisha Diaries (A Darklina Fanfic)

Chapter 16: Out of Love

SLEEP EVADES me after my meal and as I twist in discomfort thoughts I so desperately want to avoid thrust their way to the forefront of my mind. It hits me how compliantly I left my own wedding. Not that I had much of a choice seeing as how my kidnapper brought an entire army. But, I didn't use my small science to fight back, I only used His shadows on my way out.

I glance around the tent again taking in my situation. Despite it's plainness, the large canvas tent certainly isn't a jail. I creep towards the door trying to make as little noise as possible and open the tent flap ever so slightly to examine how guarded I am. A man in a blue kefta, who departed Keramzin with the Darkling and I, stands a few feet from the entrance. Surprisingly, he has no companions. His shoulders are slack and his posture loose. Certainly not a man who's been threatened by the Darkling, with his life on the line, to guard a prisoner.

I confidently open the flap even more so to see that the whole camp is full of revelry. The number of keftas laughing and relaxed is reminiscent only of the Winter Fete all those years ago.

My guard finally notices my exit from the tent and I take the opportunity to test the limits of this new jail cell.

"Good Evening Moya Soverenya," he says in a friendly manner. His back straightens, but rather than tightening his muscles preparing for conflict, he straightens out of respect.

"Alina is fine," I reach out my hand to him.

"I'm afraid that would be inappropriate moya sovernya. My name is Leonid," he returns, shaking my hand with some reverence. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Having been kidnapped and/or jailed a few times before, and by the Darkling even, I know for certain that this has been my best treatment yet.

I glance around in the shadows looking for the Darkling's spying eyes. The other large tent next to mine however is guarded by Stephen, looking much more at attention than Leonid did. The open bond between the Darkling and I confirms he is in there.

I could go out and meet the people of the camp, maybe find Adrik and his family, but before even completing the thought I quickly lose the energy for socializing. The Darkling and his free access pass to my emotions as well as being the leader of this group makes me uncomfortable to try and form my own connections. I know better now than to trust friendships made with those that he leads.

"No, that's okay. It was nice meeting you Leonid."

I turn around, determined to act more cautiously than the last time the Darkling stole me away from a previous life. The most valuable asset of the Darkling's is information. Without being able to protect my thoughts and conversations I can never have any freedom from him.

My new goal fuels me for the rest of the night as I practice walling off my part of the bond from the Darkling. I find that what works most effectively is imagining a brick wall right below the center of my chest. I knock it down and rebuild it, brick by brick, over and over again. I tune my mind like an instrument, adjusting and strengthening. By the early morning I can hold my wall for about an hour with only half of a mind of focus. The bond is much stronger than it was before, but in a sense it's also clearer. What was once a confusing and finicky string that occasionally connected us is now an unshakable tunnel with defined walls and attributes. Lately, we've been operating with the doors on both sides wide open, but that is soon to change.

The healer, Sofia, who attended me yesterday is the first to enter my tent in the morning. "Oh good, Moya Soverenya, you're awake. The Starless Saint is very anxious to get going."

"You refer to the Darkling as a saint?"

"Yes moya soverenya," she nods. "But we also know that Saints have only ever been Grisha misunderstood by the populace. In a way this is the only title we have for the old General at the moment. I have to agree it's not very fitting." With a wink she adds, "I suppose he's not so starless anymore now either." Her forwardness brings a small blush to my cheeks I can't help.