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LOG [ERROR]
Date: [ERROR]
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Dr. Beck Remediis
(they/them)
Lead Medic of Invincible II


SUBJECT(S): Wilford Warfstache, AKA William J. Barnum, AKA The Colonel

SECTION: [ERROR: NOT IN SYSTEM]

TEXT:

This guy has to exist outside of reality. That's the only explanation; from different accounts of people who have interacted with him, he doesn't appear to experience time in a linear fashion like the rest of us. He even appears in places without explanation and can make others do the same. Not for long, just when he needs to speak with them. This is all to say, I'm amazed that I was even able to find this interview he did.

That leads me to another question: who the hell is Harold Apless? I've seen his name a few times—

should I ask—

would Allu know who he is? Is it important that I know? I guess if it is, I'll find out soon enough.


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[BEGINNING OF INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT]

Interviewee: William J. Barnum, aka Wilford Warfstache

Interviewer: Harold Apless

Date of Interview: 10/30/2019

Location of Interview: [UNKNOWN]

List of Acronyms: WW=Wilford Warfstache; IN=Interviewer

[Begin Transcript 00:00:10]

IN: So, Wilford, why don't you explain how you met the Captain?

WW: Easy! They'd backtracked to avoid the main story—you know how it is when someone loses their nerve. Ugh! Don't you hate that? Anyway, they—

IN: Hold on, "avoid the main story?" Could you elaborate on that?

WW: What's there to explain? You know, the main story. The story that was written for the production. That story has to play out exactly the way it was crafted, and I refused to let them shy away from it all for some silly easter egg! It wouldn't have even made sense for them to meet me then! I was nowhere else in Part 1, I don't even know why they would've tried to find me! They had to complete the first part of the story where the universe was collapsing and reset itself.

IN: Oh. Right, yes, of course. Um, continue.

WW: So they walked back to find me in the hallway, and I was just enjoying the music there since I didn't have to be onstage just yet. When I turned, there they were! Just staring at me like they were expecting some sort of alternate option or fun gag. But I wasn't having it! I told them they were too early and I'd see them again in Part 2, as was written! And I sent them back to deal with the Warp Core.

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