Trying To Forget

Chapter 10

Recap:

"Evan would hurt both me and you if he knew and i cant let that happen." He sounded as tough he was trying to convince himself as well as me, so i didnt answer and let him get up and walk towards the door. Right before he left he looked back and shared one meaningfull look without saying goodbye. 

No parting words were said and no words of how we like eachother were said because we both know what would happen if this continued. It would be too complicated to start a relationship like this so why even get ours hopes up. The only reason it even happened was because we were both emotional and needed someone, but we cant lets it happen again.

As i drift off to sleep theres only one thing on my mind... How i wish that all that wasnt true and that  might actually have a chance with this. 

Chapter 10

Hollys P.O.V(One week later)

Ive been here for almost two weeks and its been nothing but horrible. I've been beaten and raped too many times for me to count and everywhere on me hurts. Evans gotten a bit bored with me and has been letting other touch me like he does. Deven has never been one of those guys though, he always manages to get out of it, because we both know that it would be no good for us to do that and make us like eachother more. Deven and me have stayed friends and havnt done anything since that first kiss, which im both sad and happy about. Me and Deven are friends though and i've confided in him a few times about my dreams of running away. 

It scares me to think what this could mean. If he gets bored then ill be no use to them, sure i also cook, clean, and generally do everything for these people except whipe their a$$e$, but im sure Evan could find some other hot chick to do all that. Maybe he could even find a girl who wouldnt mind having $ex with him, because lets face it, he is pretty hot, and if he werent so scary and mean he could get anyone he wanted. But not me, never me, i wont b seduced and blinded by his looks so that i cant see what type of person he really is.

While thinking about this i couldnt help but let my mind wander to how my life was before this, back when my life was normal. My problems used to be school grades and my brothers friend not liking me, but now i hav bigger things to worry about. As that thought floats through my mind i froze.

OMG! Im such a horrible person!! I havnt even thought about Dylan, the guy that i clam to love, since i came here. Not even after i kissed Deven, not even when i was trying to find my happy place while Evan rapped me, did i ever think about Dylan. He was my rock, the one i came to with problems that Emma couldnt fix, the one that held me that night while i cryed imagining what was gonna happen when Evan got me. Suddenly all the images of me and him came back to me. His bright green eyes that you could get lost in, and and silky black hair that always got in his way. Me and him swinging on a swingset when we were 5, us climbing a tree at 7, planning pranks against my brother at 9, him kissing me at 12. Finally him holding me while i cryed into his shirt that last night i saw him. I wish i had said something more memerable, i wish he had a better last memory of me, I wish i had told him how i felt before i left.

I question flew through my mind that completley shocked me. If i had to choose between Deven and Dylan, who would i pick? Its not the question itself that shocked me, it was my indecision. The answer should obviously be Dlyan, we have a history together and i know everything about him. I dont know anything about Deven except the reason he got in a gang and the fact that hes actually IN a gang, but yet something draws me to him. It could just be the mistery and the danger that surrounds him that draws me in, but i have a feeling its deeper then that. I feel like i've known him all my life and that i could trust him complet;ey with mine, even though ive only known him for two weeeks. Also the way he looks into my eyes feels like hes looking into my soul. Even when i first saw him i knew he wouldnt hurt me. The fact that i trust him this much confuses me completley but its true nonetheless. (A/n: Im having a complete writers block right now so im sorry if this all confuses you XP)