His Unreasonable Love (Completed)

24

It had been a while since my job started and I hadn’t heard from either Safa or Sarah. My friendship with them might had hit a rocky road but I was glad that they were getting along.

It was impossible to not think about Safa, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. Since I wasn’t a teenager, I wasn’t looking forward to having a makeover but Daniyal insisted that I did. But it didn’t really help.

I had been so persistent and put my heart out to her, only for her to stomp on it and get back to the worst person she possibly could. Maybe Sarah was right, I was being jealous. But how could I not? I was losing her again, to the same maniac.

Break-ups are supposed to remind us of the good time together, that’s what made us hurt. But all that my mind could remind me of was all the pain that she gave me and yet I couldn’t come to hate her.

I felt used. Betrayed yet again and I was to be blamed. I chose to be vulnerable. I knew that I was walking on thin ice and yet didn’t flinch as I saw a sliver of possibility of a future with her. I was abandoned by her again and just like before, I didn’t have the courage to ask her why she did this to me.

Everyone could see what she had been through and yes, what she went through was brutal. But what she was doing to me wasn’t very nice either.

It is not true. Meeting new people only helps distract from those who were once your everything, but it doesn’t take away the pain that they instilled deep in you. I owed it to myself to not get hurt again, to save myself from all the hassle. But my heart didn’t agree. I wasn’t made that way. I don’t think any of us are.

Every time I made up my mind to stay away from Safa’s life, I was drawn closer to her. Maybe I should listen to my heart one last time. Maybe I was never going to move on from her, no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t get closure the last time, maybe a closure this time would help?

Weekends were specifically harder. Imp had its way to get into my head, all our heads. I kept fidgeting with the phone and after all the contemplations, I called her. I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t answer and I called her again and again until she did. Maybe I was being a creep but I was way past thinking what Safa felt about me.

“What is the matter with you!?” She asked with an irritated voice.

“What is the matter with you! How can you do this to me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I cannot do this over the phone. I want to meet.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Fine. Then I’ll come over to your place.”

“No! don’t!”

“Then come and meet me.”

“Please don’t make this harder.”

“I’ll see you at 4 today. Our usual place”, I said and hung up on her.

I knew that if I spoke any longer, I would give in and fall in for her words. She had played with me enough and I wasn’t going to let her take more advantage of me.

**********

“Bhai! I need a lift!”, Daniyal yelled from his room as he heard me unlock the main door.

“I’m in a hurry.”

He rushed down the stairs while buttoning his shirt and said, “let’s go.”

“I’m late”, I lied as I had another hour to spare.

“No you’re not”, he said very confidently.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you are never late when I’m around.” Though those words slipped from his mouth, his face told something else.

“Did Marwa say something?”

“Let’s talk outside. I don’t want mom to listen.”

He pushed me out to the garage and it ticked the wrong nerve. The thought of Daniyal stopping me from meeting Safa was so infuriating that I punched the wall. It did more damage to my fist than it did to the wall.

“Ouch! That must have hurt!” He said.

I clenched my jaws and went towards him but he took several steps back.

“Relax relax. I don’t understand why you are so keen on hurting yourself. Physically too!”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. She cannot do this to me.”

“What did she do to you?”

“Like you don’t know anything.”

“I know everything. Just how you know that she always wanted to fix her marriage and jumped at the first opportunity that she got.”

I stuttered as I was in a loss of words. He was right. She had made it very clear that she loved Ayaan and wanted to work it out with him.

“Still. She can’t do this to me. I need to talk to her.” I said and inserted the keys to unlock my car.

“Alright then. I’m coming with you.” He started yelling.

“No you are not. And stop yelling!” I yelled back like we did when we were kids.

“Then you’re not leaving.” He yelled again.

“What the hell is going on. Since when did you start giving me orders.”

“Ever since you started acting like a child.”

I understood why he was yelling as mom walked into the garage wiping her hands.

“Are you two fighting?” She asked with creases between her eyebrows.

Daniyal looked at me. It wasn’t the first time that he gave me that look. It was The Look which said that if I didn’t listen to him, then mom was going to listen to everything.

“No we are not.” I tried my best to put on a fake smile.

“We were just leaving”, Daniyal said and got on the driver’s seat.

“You are driving?” I asked.

“What do you think?”

“Ofcourse you are”, I said while clenching my jaw and got on the seat next to him.

Mom smiled at us and said, “I know something is going on between you two. You better sort it out before you get back home.”

Daniyal drove off and as soon as we were off mom’s view, I punched his arm.

“I hate it when you do that!”

“Ow! What did I do?” He asked innocently before smirking.

“The Look!”

“Aaah The Look.” He smiled. He was very proud of it as it was the only thing that got me into trouble and the only thing that worked in his favour when it came to the two of us. I was surprised that it was working after all these years.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“To the lake.”

“And why are you coming?”

“Because you are being a big pain in the ass and I don’t want you to do something stupid in front of Safa and Marwa.”

“Marwa is coming too?”

He nodded.

“Are her parents coming? How about we turn around and get our parents too and have a little picnic by the lake.”

“Awwwh. Aren’t you just the sweetest. But that won’t be necessary this time. For now, it’s just going to be the four of us.”

“I don’t understand. First, she doesn’t want to meet me. Second, she agrees to meet me but with our siblings?”

“Well you didn’t give her much of a choice.”

“Whose side are you on!”

“I know it sounds like I’m on her side but honestly, I’m on your’s.” He turned towards me and gave me a flying kiss. Because that was the only thing missing, right?

“You always told me to stay away from her. Then why are you driving me to her?”

“I can’t see you like this Bhai. You think I don’t know anything but off late you are turning into the same sad and heartbroken guy that you were when you two broke up ages ago. I want you to fix yourself before mom and dad start noticing it too. And if talking to her is an option then be it.”

We both sat in silence for the entire ride. Due to the beautiful traffic, the twenty minutes drive turned into forty five but it felt like two hours. We were the first ones to reach and I didn’t push Daniyal away.

“Thank you”, I whispered as we stood in front of the lake.

“I know. If you need me, I’ll be over there”, he said and sat on a bench.

I had too much going on on my mind to deal with Daniyal. I wanted to focus on meeting Safa and not loosing my cool. Maybe it was over between us or maybe it was just a set back. But these things happen in a relationship, or between two people. Where is the fun if everything went our way.

“Hi”, Safa said as she held onto the railing in front of her.

“For the first time, my heart didn’t race to the sound of your voice.” I smiled.

“That’s good right?”

“You hurt me Safa. Again.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“And yet, here we are.” I chuckled.

“Do you think I enjoy doing this to you?”

“Seems like it.”

“How can you even say that? The only reason why I haven’t been in touch with you is because I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“So you think THAT is why I’m hurting?”

“Ayaan has changed.”

All I could do was chuckle, which she didn’t take very well.

“He loves me. And I love him too”, tears rolled down her eyes as she said that. But these tears were of joy.

“Now THAT really hurt.”

“I’m sorry, but it is the truth. I’ll be leaving soon.”

“To?”

“Kerala. My parents didn’t agree to let me go to US.”

“Finally someone is being sensible.”

“Is this why you wanted to meet? To ridicule me?”

I couldn’t hold it any longer.

“I wanted to meet you to tell you how selfish you are. How self centred you are. All you can think about is yourself. You have absolutely no consideration for other’s feelings, especially mine.”

“That’s not true.” She burst into tears but all I could see was my pain.

I was oblivious to the fact that she was on the floor sobbing. That she was hurting too. Everything looked fake. Everything she did to me looked fake. Every smile, every word that came out of her mouth for me, fake.

“What are you crying for now? You should be happy. You got what you wanted. You wanted Ayaan right. Go with him. Go get killed. And rest assured, I won’t be there to help you anymore. You have hurt me enough.”

I turned around and saw Daniyal and Marwa standing a few steps away from us with agonizing looks on their faces, clearly they felt for their siblings. Marwa ran towards Safa and shot daggers at me through her eyes and I quickly wiped off my tears.

“So this is your love for her?”, She asked sternly.

“Marwa no. He is right. He doesn’t deserve this but I can’t help it. You were my past and it was my fault to think that something could happen again. We were never meant to be Rayan.”

“So it’s all fate’s fault?” I clapped sarcastically and couldn’t help but laugh. “You are perfect Safa, you can never do anything wrong.” I took a deep breath to contain the heaviness in my heart and continued, “that means it’s all my fault. All mine.”

Daniyal rushed towards me and pulled me from my arm to leave, but I was far from done. I had so much more to say, so much more to vent out. I could never be done.

“Safa let’s leave”, Marwa said and took Safa away.

“Yes yes leave. Leave like you always do”, I screamed as they drifted away from me.

“Bhai stop!” Daniyal pleaded.

“Stop what!? Stop hurting? Well I’m trying but I’m not able to. Stop loving her? I’ve tried that too but I just can’t get myself to hate her.”

I fell on my knees as I saw her leaving with teary eyes. As my vision got blurry, she faded away.