Floss // A Harry Styles AU

three

Since Federico, I hadn't really been an affectionate person. At least, not when it came to my one night stands. I gave Ruby all the affection she wanted, from falling asleep with her to helping her bathe to accepting any kind of hug she threw my way. I would give that girl any attention she wanted as long as she wanted it, because I loved her.

Romantically, on the other hand, I was a dry well. I guess I didn't really see the point in letting someone swaddle me with cuddles and kisses outside the parameters of sex because I didn't want it to disturb the rest of my life. Especially not Ruby's life. We were settled - we had a good routine and she'd never even mentioned the absence of a father figure in her life. I hoped that was because she considered her grandad that figure. Why would I want someone else coming into our little world and potentially ruining it?

It was why I found myself surprised when I rather enjoyed the feeling of a man's arms around my middle some weeks later. He was warm, and I felt utterly at peace with it. I didn't care for the time of day, nor my responsibilities that awaited later on after he'd been jettisoned from my house. All I was focussed on was how comfortable this stranger made me feel.

I had my back pressed against his chest, somewhat deluded by the patterns his lips made against my bare shoulder. I was in a complete trance. I couldn't remember this man's name, but I could tell you every inch of my body that he'd visited the night before, and where I had his in return. He made me feel like a priceless artefact; a Saint; a goddess. I'd lay like this until I starved. It wouldn't matter, because at least I was wanted. Maybe even needed.

His hands travelled to sacred places and I shamelessly relished in it, writhing in his hold on me like an otter bathing in water. I felt him everywhere on me, in places less frequently visited as the days rolled on. I was going to rinse this moment for all it was worth, and so I turned to face him between his grip, my mouth searching for his-

"-Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!"

I squealed at the intrusion from my daughter; heart thudding in my ears mangled with white noise and accompanied by a sweaty forehead (amongst other places). I jolted upright in bed, heaving like a pig in heat.

I was remiss to find I had clothes on compared to the nakedness I had in my deep fantasy.

Ruby clambered onto the bed - ignorant to my horror - and crawled straight into my lap, "Mummy!"

"What?" I demanded, a more forceful tone on me than I would normally use, to the point I surprised myself.

"I had the best dream!"

I sighed, more in self-pity at my own forever lost dream. "Oh, really?" I prompted, wrapping my arms around her small body. I rested my nose onto her head, sniffing her hair. "What was it about?"

"We got a dog!"

Oh, for fuck's sake. I choked. "Did we now?" I asked in a quizzical voice.

"Yep. He was a blue Great Dane, and his name was Bongo."

"I've never heard of a blue dog before."

"Mummy, please can we get one? Please? I'd look after it so well, I promise."

"Baby, I've seen Great Danes and I can promise you you'd be flying through the air the moment it started running."

"Not if we got him as a puppy! He'd be little - just like me!"

I could see her logic, but even though I was no Einstein I still knew that dogs grew much faster than us mere humans. "He will still outgrow you very quickly, Ruby."

She sighed, a pout on her lips and a mature crease in her brow. I stroked my thumb over both in succession while she whined at me. "Mummy, I really want a puppy. I don't want anything else in the entire world except a puppy. It would be the best birthday ever."