Behind The Mask

Two: Panic

Violetpaw laid in her nest, head on her paws.She was deep in thought.
Ever since her battle training two sunrises ago, she'd been extra cold to Gorgepool.It wasn't even his fault, but she couldn't help but avoid him.

Mabye there's a herb that will help clear my mind?

But she didn't feel like getting up.
She just felt like laying there forever, until the earthy dirt swallowed her up and she was forgotten.Forever.

There was rustling as Ashenpaw pushed his way into the den, a light frown on his face.His eyes darted immediately over to Violetpaw, and he rolled his eyes.
"There you are.I've been looking for hours."

"What do you want, Ashenpaw?"Violetpaw snapped impatiently.

"Just wanted to tell you that no one likes your attitude."he sneered, a un-pitying look on his face.

"Why would you bother telling me that?"Violetpaw scoffed, unfazed by his rude words.
He was trying to upset her.Like always.

"Because.Brackenstar wants you to fix yourself.He doesn't like what's happening to you."

Violetpaw knew he was lying.
Brackenstar wasn't like that.

"Uh, huh."Violetpaw mumbled.

"Yeah....Also, I came to say something else-"

"Of course you did.Because you never stop talking."Violetpaw interrupted, getting to her paws.

Ashenpaw snapped his jaws shut, shooting her a glare that said 'I can be quiet!'

"Now, excuse me, I must go."Violetpaw harshly pushed past him, leaving him staring in shock.
She headed straight for the medicine den.

Her head was pounding, a specially sharp piercing right above her eye.
She groaned, bringing a paw up to rub her eyebrow.She regularly got headaches, mostly when she talked to Ashenpaw.

She pushed through the entrance of the medicine den, peering around for Flyingfeather.The white she-cat was no where to be seen.
Her apprentice, Fernpaw, was sitting in her nest, looking like she'd just woken up.

"Hello, Fernpaw.Is Flyingfeather around?"Violetpaw asked through gritted teeth, her vision blurry.

"No, she went out to look for pansy,"Fernpaw replied softly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
The light brown she-cat padded over to Violetpaw, her eyes sleepy.

"I was wondering if there was a herb that cleared someone's mind for a bit? Or at least distracted you from thinking?"Violetpaw hoped there was one.

Fernpaw looked thoughtful. "I've never heard of one.Flyingfeather hasn't taught me all the herbs, yet."
she admitted.

"I could give you some thyme I suppose? It would calm you down."
Fernpaw offered kindly.

"No thanks, I guess.I'll manage."
Violetpaw shrugged.

"I'm really sorry though."she sighed, a sympathetic look on her face.

Violetpaw nodded, wincing as it shot pain through her forehead. "What about for headaches?"

"We have a bit of feverfew left, I think."Fernpaw shuffled over to the herb shelf, digging around.
She returned with a small bit of feverfew in her mouth, and set it down for Violetpaw.

"Here."she nodded, sitting back and watching as Violetpaw took the herb in her mouth and chewed, swallowing slowly.

"Thank you, Fernpaw."Violetpaw dipped her head.

"If it doesn't help, come back when Flyingfeather has returned."Fernpaw smiled sweetly, brushing her cheek against Violetpaw's.

Violetpaw liked how soft and gentle Fernpaw was.She never intentionally was mean, rude, or offended anyone.
She was a genuinely nice cat.

Violetpaw made her way out of the den, letting out a hum.
Her head already felt a bit better.

"Hey, Violetpaw."Hazelheart called from outside the nursery.

Violetpaw heaved a sigh, switching directions to stand beside the queen.
"Hello, Hazelheart."

Holloweye sat beside the brown she-cat, his fur lightly brushing hers.
He watched his kits with a curious eye as they tumbled around Hazelheart's paws.

"Do you think you could watch Oakkit and Beechkit while we're gone?"The queen begged. "We'll only be out for a little while.I need to stretch my legs."

Violetpaw frowned. "I suppose.They're pretty well behaved."

"Thank you!"Hazelheart let out a sigh of relief, immediately standing up and nudging Holloweye to his feet. "Let's go, love."

The two made their way quickly out of the camp, not even glancing back once.

What was that about?

Violetpaw sat down, gazing emotionlessly at the two play fighting kits.

Beechkit pinned Oakkit to the ground, her lips pulled back in a victorious snarl. "Take that, rogue! Say your last words, before I end your life, forever!"
she squealed triumphantly.

Horror and panic surged through Violetpaw's bones as she suddenly picture Shadow underneath of Cardinal.

That was pretty much what Cardinal said!

Without thinking, Violetpaw had raced forward and knocked Beechkit off of her littermate.The black furred apprentice let out a roar, her neck fur bristling.

Beechkit trembled beneath Violetpaw, eyes wide with fear. "Mama! Mama!"
she wailed, tears springing in her eyes.

Violetpaw felt guilty, seeing Oakkit rush over to his sister and nuzzle her neck comfortingly, then send Violetpaw a glare.

"What's going on-?"Antbite murmured, popping her head out of the nursery.

"Antbite, take care of these two kits!"
Violetpaw hissed, taking off running.
She raced through the exit of camp, eyes narrowed.

I'm so mean!

Horrible!

Cruel!

Selfish!

I'm a monster!

She skidded to a stop by a stream, approaching it and peering in.
The water rippled, and her reflection stared back at her, wobbly.
She let out a breath.
At least she looked like herself.

Suddenly, a light breeze stroked the water, and Violetpaw's face disappeared, being replaced with a russet coloured cat's face.
Violetpaw gasped, pulling her head away from the water.

I'm not anything like my mother!

Right?

Squeezing her eyes closed, Violetpaw curled up in a ball, the water beside her silent.

The wind blew by gently, trying to soothe her.It didn't work though.

Then, she heard whispering.

You're like her.

Exactly like her.

You are a monster.

And don't you forget that......