Cherry Blossom

Onerous

After Taehyung left to run some errands and do grocery shopping, Jin remained in bed, his usual routine ever since he came back from the hospital. It has been a week since they lost their first born, and Jin's life has come to a standstill. He finds himself unable to do anything, still consumed by sadness. He's confused, too. Even if he puts in efforts, he still can not bring himself to not sit idly.

Jin realizes that Taehyung has taken on the role of his caregiver full-time. From brushing his hair to bathing and feeding him, Taehyung is always there for Jin. However, Jin is fully aware of the toll it takes on his husband. Moving on his own has become challenging for him, feeling trapped in a never-ending circle of thoughts.

Almost 15 minutes have passed since Taehyung left for the supermarket.
Jin contemplates the idea of getting up while still lying in bed. Shortly after, he hears Taehyung's phone ringing persistently. Thinking it might be important, Jin decides to answer the call, Jin notices several missed calls on the notification bar, some from work and some from his own dad.

As he reads the texts in the notification, he realizes it's from Taehyung's dad, " You're only twenty-five years old yet, but that old hag has made you pathetic. He even miscarried your child. I told you he is rotten. If you don't get back to work on time, forget about your job or promotion," With a sigh, Jin mutters to himself, "I'm only 29, calling me an old hag is a bit excessive."

His husband parents never liked him to begin with, so this message didn't offend him like it should have. He put the phone down. At least now he was motivated to get up.

Taehyung is surprised when he notices Jin sitting on the living room couch flipping through channels, "You seem to be doing much better now. You look nice. I am proud of you," Tae tells Jin, playfully ruffling his hair and leaning into giving him a kiss on his forehead. Taehyung then excuses himself, " I will be back after I put away the groceries in the kitchen."

"Let's have a conversation," Jin says with a serious expression that immediately catches Tae's attention, knowing where this might be leading them to.

"What's the matter?" Tae asks, looking up and focusing on Jin.

"I don't know how to say this," Jin admits with a bit of a slur. "Please hear me out first and try to stay calm. Forget about the baby. For now, picture us without the baby. Where do you think we would be in our relationship?" Jin's own heart breaks at the question, clearly not wanting to have this conversation so soon after they lost their baby.

"Do we really need to discuss this now? What led you to make this decision?" Tae responds casually.

"You need to take this seriously. Do you see us divorced already? How serious were you about ending our marriage?" Jin keeps repeating the word 'divorce,' making it increasingly difficult for Tae to listen.

"I was initially serious about the divorce, but my feelings have changed," Taehyung responds honestly, hoping that Jin will understand, "I like the way things are between us now."

"Like this? With me, depending on you completely? Is this the dynamic you always wanted for us to have?" Jin questions, his voice felt cold and distant.

" What are you trying to imply with your statement? Taehyung asks, offended, " Even if i previously asked for divorce, it doesn't mean that i stopped loving you. And if ever, hopefully never, anything were to happen to you, i would drop all and everything to stay by your side." He continues,

"Taehyung, I believe it would be best for us to proceed with the divorce. It has been overdue for a long time, and I know it's what you initially wanted. I tried to hold on for a few months, but what do i hold on to now? I think we need some time apart until you want me back and until I am healthy and deserving of you," Jin confesses while avoiding eye contact, feeling himself reaching a breaking point.

"Can you please stop making decisions on my behalf, Jin? These past few months, I have experienced both numbness and an overwhelming amount of feelings. But one thing I am certain of now is that I want to be with you more than ever. I take back everything I said before. Let's talk through everything and not go through with the divorce," Taehyung pleads.

"No, Taehyung, think about it carefully. I know you are tired of me. It's become a repetitive pattern for us, Taehyung. We should put a stop to it for now. There are no more excuses. I haven't felt like a human since our baby left, i can't be with you now as if nothing ever happened, as if you never left me alone that day. And no, i dont blame you for resenting me. Also, you weren't selfish when you asked me to marry. You were just in love with me." Jin admits with a heavy sigh.

"Please, my love. I am so sorry for everything. It is all my fault. Let's not go through with the divorce. I beg of you," Taehyung says, holding back his tears, not wanting to appear weak. He believes he deserves to be heard after everything Jin has put him and their relationship through. He kneels in front of Jin, apologizing, regardless.

"Please, have the divorce papers prepared soon," Jin says, getting up abruptly, indicating that he does not want to hear out Taehyung anymore.

Taehyung stood outside the guest room, waiting for Jin to open the door. It's been a week since their last conversation. Jin had been avoiding him by staying in that room. When Jin finally opened the door, Taehyung noticed that he was dressed up.

"Are you going somewhere?" Taehyung asked, looking at his soon-to-be ex-husband.

"Yes, with some friends," Jin replied, pointing at the file in Taehyung's hand. "Are these the divorce papers?"

Taehyung nodded, knowing that Jin was lying. There's no way he is going out with friends. His work routine never allowed him to maintain friendship. The only friend he has is namjoon.

"You're really fast. Come in. Let's get this over with," Jin said.

Taehyung took out a pen and placed the papers on the table. He looked at Jin, who was about to sign.

" The last time," Taehyung said as he kissed Jin. He leaned on Jin, almost flattening his back on the couch.

He kissed Jin again, this time with more passion. Jin held Taehyung's shoulder and moved in sync with his lips. Tears streamed down Taehyung's face, causing Jin to cry as well, " I'm sorry, Taehyung," Jin said in between their kiss, pushing Taehyung back.

"Jin-ah, my love, please tell me you don't want this," Taehyung pleaded, holding Jin by both shoulders. " Let's fix this instead. I know I messed up, but please."

"Let's get this over with, Taehyung. None of this is your fault. It's all mine. I'm the dirty fish in the pond," Jin said as he hurriedly signed the papers. After Taehyung signed as well, Jin left, making sure Taehyung signed too.

This time, it was Jin who left Taehyung behind in their shared apartment.

After Taehyung leaves for work the next morning, looking miserable.
Jin, who had been spying, enters the house to start packing to move out of the house. He brought along his old friend Hoseok, with whom he would be sharing an apartment. They have known each other since college, but it's only recently since they started talking. Hoseok is a pharmacist who currently lives with his boyfriend Yoongi in that very apartment.

" Let's start packing. There isn't much left. You take care of the books. Grab a box and place them on the shelf. Just leave out the 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' series that belongs to Taehyung," Jin chuckles, recalling Taehyung's reaction when he refused to put the series in its place. His husband wasn't much of a reader, so that's the only series he acquired.

"Stay focused, Jin," Hoseok advises, bringing Jin back from his thoughts.

"I'm going through a divorce, Hobi. I'm already quite distracted," Jin replies.

"I hate to bring this up, but did you see Taehyung earlier? He looked awful and exhausted," Hoseok comments.

" Yeah, it's the first time for him," Jin jokes. "I've already dealt with what he's going through after he first brought up divorcing."

"Try to hurry, Jin, before it's too late," Hoseok urges, not yet knowing the full story.

With one hour to spare before Taehyung returns home, Jin finishes packing with the help of hoseok. Jin leaves a note on the fridge, "I will miss you. Perhaps, one day, we will meet each other again and forgive each other. No matter what, I will always love you." After one final glance at the apartment, Jin sighs and locks the door.