Signatory

Close Enough

Was it us not aligning with the universe? Or the universe itself playing tricks on us? Because it always provided chances and the right atmosphere, only for them to slip away in a moment. Maybe we're just not smart, or we're too scared, or holding back for good.

It was one of those cool, cheery evenings where I was usually excited for no reason at all. I went with my best friend to the north side of the school to check out some hostel information. While she had hers verified, mine held no hopes at all which was supposed to be a sad situation, but I wasn't in the least bothered. Rather than worry about my own issue, I decided to worry about someone else's. We were on our way out of the hostel premises when the thought hit me.

'Let's go to the boys' hostel,' I suggested.

She gave me a really questioning look and I laughed stupidly.

'I want to check Dee's name on the list'.

There's a reason she was my best friend, she concurred to all my foolish decisions and this very one, without any questions. She even seemed more excited than I was myself or even expected, but this moment wasn't about her so permit me to ramble on.

We strolled down the walkway out of the girls' hostel premises, and as we approached the boys' right opposite. Well, such coincidence. A very familiar piece of clothing draped around a very familiar figure approached us, and my brain didn't need any trouble identifying who it was.

I may have said this lots of times before now and pardon me for that, but each time I had him around, I was extremely happy. The excitement I felt was too much to contain and all I could do was stare at him dumbfounded.

My eyes traveled from his face down his body, and something made me feel like his arms were calling me. I felt the strong desire to throw myself into him and get wrapped up, and for a moment, I thought I saw him open up too. But in a thought, that same desire birthed fear and doubt, and that attraction gradually transformed into repulsion, the need to wrap myself up from a sudden cold, to curl back into my shell like a snail, away from the cruelty of the earth.

I guess fear is stronger than courage, or let's say risk, because I obeyed it like a servant bidding to the commands of her master. Folding my hands against my chest as he halted before me. I guess I'd rather willingly miss a chance, than venture into the unknown.

'Good evening' he smiled, stretching out a hand.

I hesitated, but I took it anyways, letting his smile lure me into his melancholy eyes. In there I could see the peace I was being deprived of, the life I missed. Maybe I could only but dream.

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