Signatory

Roast Me, Toast Me

Some days were better than others, where there was no pretense or tension, or trying so hard to keep away from each other. Today was one of those days. I was let to be genuinely happy, loosen up and talk to him without fear or getting awkward, amidst people, not minding who was watching or not, or what anyone even thought.

It wasn't a completely direct conversation, but there was strange understanding and we easily got along. That was one of the major reasons a part of me told me we were meant for each other, even if I could never bring myself to ever believe it. He didn't make believing easy either.

It was a rowdy class with an absent lecturer. Students roamed up and down the auditorium, chattering, playing and doing whatever. I sat on one of the chairs behind with my brothers around, although everyone caught in their own world. And he, on the chair directly behind me, although I was partially turned to face him.

It was a few days after his birthday and I had prepared a package for him, a really special package I would say. I was nervous because I didn't even know how to present it or figure how it would be taken. I had to find a way to relax, and bless the conversation we were having, it was all I needed. It wasn't a reasonable conversation and I can't remember how it all started but we were lashing out savage commentaries at each other and it seemed to be his love language from how much he enjoyed roasting me.

'How do you ever get the courage to look in the mirror?' I asked him, 'Don't you feel terrible when you do?'

'Whenever I look in the mirror, I'm looking at God's most awesome creature.' He fought back.

'Self-deception,' I attacked. 'You should be disappointed, handsome wouldn't ever be suitable for you.'

'Of course, why would it? We should be talking something like "magnificent" right?' His eyes lit up.

Nice comeback. At this point, I only realized our friends were paying in attention when Yinka angrily rose his head in irritation.

'Ewww, you guys stop whatever this is...'

'Seriously,' Moses chipped in, 'Are you guys insulting each other or...?' He paused on a second thought, searching for his words and then let out a loud, angry hiss. 'Just stop abeg.' 

 I could understand their irritation. They knew we liked each other, or that I liked him whatever it was, so pretending to not find each other attractive was apparently very gross to witness. Well I didn't mind, as long as a conversation was going on and I was talking to the boy I liked. The fun part? Their interference gave me another idea.

'You have a good reason to be ashamed with the people you have around. I mean, take a look at this fine boy.' I continued, referencing Moses, 'Raise your head so he can see you properly, fine boy.' I tugged at Moses teasingly and he did raise his head but rejected my compliment.

'Abeg o, see the fine boy beside you.' He pointed back at Dee smiling and I laughed, leaving him alone as he dropped his head on the pew and sunk back into his phone.

But guess who took it personally? Because I was never ready for what came after at all.

'Do you know who the definition of a fine girl is?' Dee asked as I turned back to face him. I smiled nervously waiting for his reveal. I knew I was not going to like that.

'Sara.'

Of course! What a better way to get revenge than use a mutual friend? I knew that was pay back for comparing him to his friend. I laughed but then I realized it may have hit him harder than I meant it, but I wasn't ready to be merciful just yet.

'Do take heart alright? and try not to look in the mirror too often so you don't kill yourself out of anger. I understand it's not easy to be so ugly.'

'It's okay!' He fired, seeing I wasn't ready to give up and apparently tired of roasting and getting roasted.

I laughed, heartily because that moment meant so much. We could have just been picking at each other but the atmosphere to me held more than those words. I watched him smile babyishly, genuine and defenseless. These were the moments I craved for and I definitely would never let this one slip. It hardly came by.

'Thank you so much for succeeding in wrecking my self -confidence today.' He still smiled as he spoke softly, indicating not much damage was done, and I understood. I could only smile back, unable utter words or take my eyes away from him.

To me, he was perfect. And there's this image I can never forget; his smile, my smile, happiness.